Beyond The Stars
by Mahler Avatar
Summary: Having saved the Earth from a devastating asteroid attack, Ron & Drakken help Kim & Shego prepare for impending motherhood. But the Ron of an alternate universe has used the original universe's Kepler to slip back in time in order to prevent the destruction of his own Earth, but must court his own Kim again the process, in this sequel to Between The Stars. Sci-Fi/Drama/Romance.
1. Prologue

_Following in the venerable footsteps of Douglas Adams, I welcome you to the __**fourth**__ novel in my sprawling KP sci-fi trilogy, known now as 'The Stars' series. Beginning with my first fanfic, 'Failure is the Only Option,' it's evolved over the years into two additional full-length novels: 'Across the Stars' and 'Between the Stars,' which managed to snag several KP Fannie Awards last year. But enough of my big-headiness: here's hoping that everyone out there will enjoy this newest offering every bit as much as the others. You can expect the same drama, humor, romance and bon-diggity sci-fi action (sorry, Wade!) that you've grown accustomed to, as well as the inevitable cliffhangers. Booyah!_

_And the usual disclaimers apply: if you saw it on Disney, it belongs to them, but if you spot any new characters or sitches, I take full responsibility for the power of my imagination. Neither do I gain any financial remuneration for the exercise thereof. And as usual, leave a review, I promise a reply. Enjoy! _

* * *

**_Prologue_**

**_I._**

The trio of interdimensional aliens hovered just beyond the shimmering portal overlooking the Earth. Eternally vigilant on their mission of observation, the first one began to speak.

"A most unusual and creative solution to a very complex problem."

The second one agreed. "Indeed. Kim Possible managed to save her own planet while simultaneously suppressing the threat to galactic peace that the alternate Lorwardia posed. And with a surprisingly low amount of Lorwardian casualties, thanks to the deft use of the powers granted to her by us."

The third one however sounded a cautionary note. "Yes, but I believe luck had a great deal to do with it as well. It was a big risk she took just to save the lives of a thoroughly despicable race."

The first chided, "Your callous disregard of life in any form is well known. I however believe that she should be thoroughly commended for her actions, as well as her entire team. Especially the one called Stoppable."

The third paused for a moment, then begrudgingly agreed, "Yes. With his mystical powers, he enabled his mate not only to complete her challenging mission, but to survive nearly unscathed as well."

The second warned, "Yes, but failure was narrowly avoided on too many occasions. If I had not temporarily granted Shego the full range of comet powers in order for her to heal Kim Possible, the teen heroine would most likely have perished. And with her, the Earth, along with the entire human race."

The first again chided, "This is true of course. But you've just been severely censured by the Hierarchy for that particular action, and came dangerously close to permanent banishment, especially as they had expressly forbidden any further interference with the humans. If not for the incredible results Team Possible achieved, along with my own personal intervention with our superiors, you would now be observing the interactions of _paramecium_ on one of the alternate Earths, instead of your present assignment."

The second's muted colors glowed in both thanks and humility. "And your intervention is deeply appreciated, let there be no doubt in your mind."

Wishing to quickly change the subject, he turned to the third alien. "And what do your predictions now portend?"

The third's coruscating colors began to swirl in mild agitation. "The outlook now favors stability in Kim's original universe. However, her time-jump-capable ship was drawn into the alternate universe right along with the asteroid she used to render Lorwardia impotent. Even worse, it has been discovered by that dimension's Ron Stoppable, who has used it to slip several years into his own past, for reasons unknown."

The second spoke up. "Reasons unknown? I think not: there is no doubt in my mind that he'll attempt to change the tragic destiny of his own Earth."

The third swirled in irritation at the interruption. "Yes, and with his well-documented randomness, it is virtually impossible to predict what the ultimate outcome of _that_ will be. Thus, the situation is extremely serious and merits our very close attention."

The first grimly continued, "And let us not forget that this is a _brand-new_ parallel universe, inadvertently created by Kim Possible's first incursion. Even though unintentional, her actions have unbalanced the entire Multiverse, and the Hierarchy is now hopelessly divided on what action should be taken next. Which brings us to our present assignment."

He turned to the other two aliens, his tone forceful and unequivocal. "Observation _only_, with absolutely _no_ contact or interference in any way, shape or form, unless first expressly ordered or approved by the Hierarchy."

He moved closer to the second. "Is that understood, _Phred_?"

The second's reddish colors paled to near translucence. "Perfectly."

The first then sighed, "And why you decided to assume that peculiarly human appellation is completely beyond me…"

With an air of finality he concluded, "Very well, then. Let us continue…"

* * *

_**II.**_

The early morning sun began to peek through the curtains of Kim's old bedroom. Ron's eyes fluttered open, and he gazed over at his still sleeping wife. As she stirred beside him, she opened her own eyes and tried to rub the sleep from them.

"Morning, KP."

With a gentle yawn she replied, "Morning, Ron."

He reached over and patted her tummy. "And how's our little mother-to-be feeling this morning?"

Kim groggily replied, "Not too bad at the moment actually, but then again, I just woke up."

She gave him a sly grin. "But I do have a ferocious desire for some pickles and ice cream."

Ron's eyes shot wide open, to which Kim giggled in response. "Just kidding, Ron. However, if you'd whip us up a batch of your delicious flapjacks, I'd be forever in your debt."

With a pleasant smile, Ron eagerly rose from the bed. "Comin' right up, KP."

As he trudged down the stairs, Kim put on her robe and followed.

While Ron deftly began mixing the pancake batter, he suggested, "Y'know, Kim, you don't have to continue immediately with college. The university has already stated very clearly that they would have no problemo at all with you taking a semester or two off if you need to."

She smirked back, "But I'm the girl who can do anything, remember? I just helped save the earth from a devastating asteroid attack. Continuing with my classes even during pregnancy should be a breeze in comparison. Besides, I won't even be due until after the summer break begins."

Ron frowned as he poured several circles of batter on the griddle. As much as Kim had proven herself more than equal to any task she had faced previously, he also knew that she had pushed herself way too far on occasion, and with dire results.

"Sure, but this is a brand new experience for us, especially for you. And since oodles of people have gone through this same kind of sitch before, you might consider taking a page or two from their playbook. And _rest_ a little, maybe?"

Kim was about to shrug it off, but then reconsidered. "Ron, I know myself pretty well, and I'm sure I'll handle it fine. But this is going to be a new sitch for you too. You're going to be a daddy."

Ron grinned back, "Yeah, and right about the same time as you're gonna be a mommy."

She shot him a sidelong glance. "Pretty much the same exact moment, actually. So I'll make you a deal. I'll continue with college this fall, but once the semester is over, I'll review the sitch at that time and see how we're both doing. Sound fair?"

Ron's grin increased. "Deal, KP."

He got a far off look in his eyes as the reality of the situation hit home. "Wow. I'm going to be a father. I'm _really_ going to be a father! I have to admit I'm a little freaked at both the idea and the responsibility, but I… I sure hope I'll be up to the challenge when the time comes."

Kim rubbed his shoulders. "I'm sure you'll be fine Ron. And I'd be more worried if you _didn't_ have butterflies about it."

Ron looked down sadly at the floor. "Well, I wasn't up to taking care of all those Sackies back in high school." He began to choke up. "Those cute little smiley faces still haunt me from time to time..."

Kim giggled back, "Maybe. But on the other hand, you seemed to do real well with your adopted sister, Hana. And don't forget that our adventures over the past few years have definitely helped you become a lot more responsible, so…"

She crinkled up her nose as a tendril of smoke wafted by. "Uh, Ron?"

Her husband instantly snapped out of his reverie as he glanced down at the smoking griddle.

"Aahh!" He quickly flipped over the scorched pancakes. "See? _See?!_ I'm already losing it, KP! And it's only a few weeks into your pregnancy! What's it gonna be like in nine months?"

Kim gave him a gentle roll of her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist. Gracing him with a confident smile, she softly continued, "Amp down, honey. We're in this together. And this time, we've got each _other's_ backs."

Kim's gentle response had the desired effect, and Ron visibly calmed down. "Sorry, Kim. You're absolutely right. This is now our newest adventure, and maybe even the most important one we've ever faced. And based on the past, I know that together we can overcome any challenges that might come our way."

Her smile widened. "That's the spirit."

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek just as the smoke alarm went off. Swiftly turning around, he grabbed a spatula and pried the now blackened pancakes from the griddle. With a sheepish look, he mumbled, "Uh, KP? How about we go out to breakfast this morning?"

She quickly put her hand over her mouth, not quite stifling the laugh that had just erupted. "Sounds great, Ron. And don't forget, no matter what trials and tribulations _we _go through, we'll probably handle them a lot better than Drakken and Shego do with theirs."

He added with a chuckle of his own, "You said it, Kim. I shudder to think what poor Drew will be going through over the next nine months…"

* * *

**_III._**

Across town at that very moment, a woman's scream of pain pierced the morning calm, followed by the sound of dishes shattering against the wall. In the corner of the room, a cerulean-skinned man cowered, narrowly missing being hit by the shards of dishware.

He mumbled to himself, "Well, at least that's the last of the breakables. Hopefully our new Tupperware will last a bit longer."

A well-placed plasma bolt instantly melted the soft plastic bowl into a gooey puddle.

Drew lifted his eyes toward the ceiling. "Or not…"

Clutching her painful abdomen, his green-skinned wife yelled, "Drakken! _You_ did this to me!"

He replied with a weak smile, "Well, Shego, I don't remember hearing any complaints from you at the moment it, uh, was _actually happening_…"

Shego tried to avoid reaching her hurl factor as she experienced a new wave of morning sickness. "Yeah, but experiencing this much pain for only a few moments of pleasure seems to be a pretty raw deal if you ask me."

She narrowed her eyes. "_You_, on the other hand, don't have to suffer through _any_ of this physical torture _at_ _all_."

Drakken quickly pointed out, "Perhaps not directly, my dear, but if your aim improves even in the slightest, I'll soon be _black_ and blue, instead of just blue."

An evil grin spread across her face. "Well, that gives me a little motivation to increase my accuracy over the coming months then, doesn't it?"

Drakken whimpered as he eyed the door, thinking that a quick escape might be the wisest choice at the moment. Shego saw the look of abject fear on his face, letting out a gentle laugh before continuing in a more conciliatory tone.

"Just kidding, Drew. That would be biting the hand that feeds me. Literally."

He began to relax, if only a little.

Her grimace morphed into a gentler smile. "I may still be as snarky as ever, but I really do love you, Drew. I've actually mellowed a bit over the years, if you haven't noticed."

This caused him to raise a questioning eyebrow.

She sighed back, "Okay, so maybe you haven't noticed. But I have nevertheless. I'll just have to keep reminding myself of that over the next nine months."

She gave a tiny snicker. "But don't forget, no matter what hell we may end up going through together, we'll probably handle my pregnancy a lot better than the Princess and the Ronster do with theirs."

This elicited a knowing chuckle from the former villain.

"Indeed. Ronald isn't nearly as goofy or random as he used to be, but Kimberly Ann's personality is still Type A as all get out…"

* * *

_**IV.**_

After a delicious breakfast, Kim and Ron returned home. The phone rang, and Kim rushed to answer it.

"Hello?"

The voice on the other end asked, "Well, Kimmie-cub, how's our new mother-to-be doing today?"

James Possible beamed, proud that he would be a grandfather in just a little under nine months. Kim smiled at the sound of her father's voice and answered, "Just spankin, Dad. And how's the Kepler V coming along?"

"Extremely well, thanks for asking." He hesitated a beat before continuing. "That is, redesigning the ship _itself_ is right on schedule, but…"

Kim tried to discern the unspoken problem. "Let me guess, still having a little trouble with the Kimpossibility Drive, right?"

James frowned. "Actually not so much with the drive itself, but integrating it with the newly rebuilt Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer is giving us fits. We're presently working out the bugs with its original inventors. However…"

"Hmm, personality differences between Dr. Drakken and the inventors getting in the way, perhaps?"

Kim's grin widened correspondingly with the length of silence on the other end of the phone. "Well, yes, in point of fact. How did you guess?"

She giggled, "Dad, I've only been fighting that megalomaniac for most of my teenage years, remember? And although he's a good guy now, a leopard can't change his spots virtually overnight."

James responded with a chuckle of his own. "Yes, you nailed that one right on the head, Kimmie-cub. I certainly raised one sharp daughter. But in spite of, uh, _professional_ differences of opinion, shall we say, some progress is actually being made. The biggest hurdle is trying to determine exactly how WarRaptor sabotaged the Kepler's star drive in the first place. He left no notes or schematics, and all of his wartechs were summarily executed by Warmonga. So progress has been rather slow. We certainly don't want to turn the new ship into a one-way vehicle to oblivion as he had originally intended."

His tone turned to one of regret. "And unfortunately, it didn't help matters any that the Kepler IV got sucked into that alternate dimension you created. Not that either you or any of the rest of us could have predicted that, or prevented it."

The pretty redhead grimaced. "Sorry about that, Dad. That certainly wasn't my intention."

He gave a small wave of his hand. "Think nothing of it, Kim. In fact, your actions saved not just one, but probably _two_ universes."

He added with a smile, "Merely saving the _world_ on a regular basis is 'so not the drama,' comparatively speaking."

"Maybe so, Dad. But I sure would like to find out what sending that last asteroid through that interdimensional portal managed to accomplish."

James tried to sooth his daughters concerns. "Don't worry, Kimmie. I'm sure that your aim was perfect."

Kim smiled sarcastically. "Yeah, like skipping an asteroid through a planet's atmosphere like a rock on a pond is something I do every day."

"Well, not _every _day of course. But your track record for amazing feats over the past few years has been prrrrety amazing."

"Yeah, but…" She paused a moment.

"But what, Kim?"

"Well, the idea of a ship able to jump through both time and dimension now lost in another universe doesn't fill me with warm, fuzzy feelings. In the wrong hands, it could be the greatest threat either of our universes have ever faced."

James paused a moment before answering. "While I admit that's possible, we don't even know for sure if the Kepler even survived the transition, let alone the possibility of it being discovered by anybody. And even if it had, Sadie is programmed to limit access to the Kepler's controls to only a select few individuals. If a Lorwardian, or even Zorpox _himself_ tried to board her, Sadie would self-destruct in order to keep the Kepler's secrets safe."

He added with a smirk, "And don't forget that we're all still here. If Zorpox had somehow miraculously survived and found a way to gain control of the timeship, we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

Kim was mollified, if just barely. "Yeah, you're right, Dad. But I sure would like to visit that alternate dimension again, just to make absolutely sure."

"And you'll get that chance, Kim, I promise. With any luck, the Kepler V should be up and running in about a year's time, and then we'll be able to solve each of these mysteries. All of our questions will ultimately be answered, and all of your concerns will finally be put to rest."

Kim sighed deeply. "I hope so, Dad. I sure hope so…"

* * *

**_V._**

_Meanwhile, in an alternate universe not so far away…_

Ron Stoppable brushed a lock of red hair off his forehead as he looked down at his new pet, a naked mole rat.

"Well, Rufus. I have one bon-diggity challenge here. Now that I've used the other dimension's Kepler to turn back the clock four years, I have to change certain events at just the right time in order to prevent Earth from getting totally blown away. And all this while wooing Kim all over again."

He gave a sentimental sigh. "To be honest, I don't know which will be harder: playing the clueless sidekick again, or keeping my feelings for Kim under wraps until the time is right."

Rufus looked up at Ron with an innocent look, oblivious to the meaning of his owner's words.

Ron smiled back at his new little friend. "Yeah, little buddy, I know you can't understand me now, but I have a few ideas about how to fix that too. But all in good time. First on the agenda is to prevent a villain from becoming one in the first place. But before that, I think Kim has a badical idea about how to improve me. And I should be getting a call, right… about…"

The phone obligingly rang at just that moment.

"Now."

He picked it up, knowing perfectly well who would be on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ron, it's Kim. Say, if you're not too busy, I have someone here who can transform that mop of hair on your head into something a little more stylish."

"Sounds great, Kim. I'll be right over."

He hung up the phone and flashed Rufus an all-knowing grin.

"And so it begins…"

_**TBC…**_


	2. The Brand New Ron

_Welcome to the second chapter, where the altRon begins to put his plan into action to save both the alternate Earth and the woman he loves. But will he ultimately succeed? Even though from an alternate dimension, this is still Ron Stoppable... So enjoy both the expected (and the unexpected) as this tale continues to develop._

_And many thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter: Eddy13, Sentinel103, EchidnaPower, CajunBear73, ajw1970, whitem and Joyce LaKee. __And remember, leave a review, you'll get a reply. And maybe some hints of what's to come..._

* * *

**Book One: Monkeying with the Timeline**

_**The Brand New Ron**_

* * *

_**I.**_

"Kimmie, why is Ron getting a haircut in our kitchen?"

Dr. Ann Possible had just walked in the door only to find a strange French coiffeur working intently on Ron's hair.

Her blonde-haired daughter quickly replied, "Well, because he ferociously needs one?"

Ann's look of dismay showed that she wasn't quite convinced. "Oh, I don't know, Kimmie..."

Kim smugly shot back, "Well, _I_ do. I know what's best for Ron, even if he doesn't."

Ann frowned as more of Ron's red hair accumulated on the floor of her kitchen. "Oh, he's really taking a lot off."

"Ron will thank me, Mom. It's no big. Besides, Francois is an expert, and the best hairdo guy in Paris."

With one final snip, the coiffeur declared, "And now for thefinale: A dollop of... Le Goop! As they say, the secret is in the starfish."

Kim smiled at Francois' handiwork as she handed Ron a mirror. But unlike in the previous timeline when he had let out a cry of horror, he smiled back in pleasure at his reflection.

"Not bad, Kim. This really enhances my bon-diggity identity: my essential Ron-ness."

Kim cocked one eyebrow. "Ron-ness?"

He smirked back, "Yeah, that easy going devil-may-care attitude that makes me... well, an easy going devil-may-care high school sophomore. Right, Rufus?"

His new pet, a naked mole rat, just stared back at him with a look of idle curiosity.

Ron thought to himself, _"Somehow I've got to boost that little guy's intelligence up a few badical notches, like what happened with his dimensional counterpart, and soon. He'll prove real helpful, if the memories I got from the other Ron are any indication…"  
_  
The next day, Ron strutted down the hallway of Middleton High with Kim by his side.

Kim commented, "I'm glad you agree that this was a change for the better, Ron. Thanks for trusting me."

"Sure thing, KP."

Just then, a group of senior girls began to walk past them. Amelia was the head of that little clique and was normally aloof and a tad snobbish, especially toward underclassmen. But today would prove to be a little different.

The tall, slender girl stopped, and with a slight sashay of her curvaceous hips turned to address Ron.

"Say, do I know you?"

Again prepared thanks to his foreknowledge, he smoothly replied, "I'm Ron. Ron Stoppable."

Hooding her dark green eyes, she purred, "That's a very, very, cool haircut, Ron Stoppable."

He smiled back warmly.** "**Thanks, Amelia. And this is my friend, Kim Possible."

Ignoring Kim completely, she continued in a voice as sweet as honey. "I'll see _you_ later." And with a flip of her long, wavy brown hair, she turned to go.

He replied in a deeper voice, "Yeah, sure, later."

Kim was instantly miffed by the brush-off. Under her voice she growled, "Hmph. Snobby senior…"

But Ron had picked up on another subtle reaction. Inwardly, he smiled. "_And so it begins…_"

"Whoa. Jellin' a bit there, KP?"

Kim instantly stiffened. "No! Not at all. It's just that she should have recognized me as the captain of the Middleton High cheer squad, and given me at least a _little_ acknowledgment. Especially after we just aced the regionals last week, thanks to my leadership."

As they continued to walk down the hall, Kim became increasingly aware of the overtly friendly looks Ron was getting from just about everyone of the female persuasion. And although Ron didn't need any of his mind-reading skills at the moment to pick up Kim's increasingly uncomfortable vibes, he did sense a stray thought of hers.

"_Great. Now I've created a monster_. _Maybe that haircut wasn't such a spankin' idea after all…"_

Kim's angst immediately amped up another notch as an all too familiar teal-eyed cheerleader approached them.

"Hey, K."

"Hey, B," Kim responded evenly.

Her well-tanned competitor in nearly every way gave Ron the once over. "And what do we have _here_? That's a real nice haircut, Ron. You just stepped up from being a loser to _almost_ acceptable."

Ron grimaced. "Gee, _almost_ thanks, Bonnie."

With a wicked laugh, she warned, "Better watch it, Kim. With a great haircut like that, some little hottie is likely to snatch him right up."

Kim merely rolled her eyes. "Ron and I are just good friends, Bonnie. Like I've told you before, we're not dating or anything."

Ron interjected, "Yeah. And not only good friends, but _best _friends, Bon-Bon."

Bonnie's eyes narrowed as he uttered that nickname she despised so much.

"And I may be just the sidekick, but Kim trusts me to watch her back." He shot Bonnie a rather wicked grin. "Instead of trying to stab it, like _some_ cheerleaders I know."

Her face began to redden as she glared back at the smug teen. In a huff, she turned on one heel and marched away. As she did, the wheels of her devious mind began to turn.

"_Hmm. Ron's just taken a major step up the food chain. Maybe not high enough yet for my standards, but if there's any way I can get Kim's goat, I'll be more than happy to oblige her…_"

As they both watched the snarky cheerleader storm off, Ron commented, "Well, KP. The more things change, the more they stay the same. This new haircut may have made me instantly popular, but that won't change the way I feel about you."

Kim gave him a curious look. "Uh, and what way is _that_, Ron?"

He immediately broke out in a sweat at his faux pas and stumbled out, "I… well, uh…" He stopped in mid-sentence and thought, "_No, I can't rush this. This has been a badical start, but I have to take my time_, _just like I did before._"

He continued in a slower, more deliberate tone. "What I mean to say is, our friendship means a lot to me. And… and I guess I don't want any big-headiness brought about by my sudden popularity to get in the way of that."

Kim visibly relaxed. "It means a lot to me too, Ron. Just don't get swept away by the first hottie that makes goo-goo eyes at you, all right?"

Ron flashed a relieved smile. "That's a promise, Kim."

As they walked out the door, Ron took a deep breath and thought, "_And since I've already been swept away by a blond-haired, green-eyed, world-saving cheerleader, that's a promise I intend to keep. I just have to be patient…_"

Out loud he voiced, "But Kim, I've got to say that this haircut really rocks! In fact, _stadium_ rocks!"

His exclamation was interrupted when a cowlick suddenly sprung up from the back of his head. "Uh, oh."

He tried to smooth it down, but it only sprang back, and with a vengeance.

"Uh, Kim? Does this haircut come with a warranty?"

Kim's eyes shot wide open. "Wow, that's one nasty cowlick. Maybe it'll flatten a little as your hair grows out."

He began to sound panicky. "But what about in the meantime? My essential Ron-ness is in jeopardy! We need to snag a ride to France and get more Le Goop from Francois, pronto!"

She suggested, "Ron, how about the domestic variety? It'd be quicker and a lot cheaper."

Recalling his plan for the next major change in the timeline, he frantically insisted, "No, believe me, it's got to be Le Goop! Nothing less will do!"

Kim complained, "So you want me to call in a favor just so you can get some hair gel?"

"Well, you _were_ the one who insisted on this haircut in the first place."

Kim vacillated for a moment between her duty in helping Ron, and the specter of him being attacked by a group of love-crazed Parisian supermodels. As she weighed her options, Ron pulled a fast one, hitting her with a remarkably effective Puppy Dog Pout.

Kim burst into laughter and conceded defeat. "Okay! Okay! I give. Let's see who Wade can find to fly us to Paris…"

* * *

**_II._**

Twelve hours later, Kim and Ron walked out of Francois' hair salon with a full case of Le Goop.

"Thanks for the hair gel, Francois. And thanks for your vote of confidence on my new badical wardrobe."

Ron was now dressed in tight pleather pants and a form-fitting blue shirt.

"Oui, no problem, Monsieur Stoppable. The hair and the clothes, they now harmonize, no? I was going to recommend taking your clothing style to the next level anyway, but you have already anticipated this. _Bonne chance!_"

Ron smiled back. "Done and done. Mercy bowcups!"

Kim commented, "Well, _Mr. Clothes-Make-The-Man_. You seem to have had a bit of prescience regarding Francois' stylish suggestions."

He shrugged offhandedly. "Just a hunch, KP, that's all."

"Well, it does look spankin.' But it does seem a bit, uh, much."

A French girl then walked by and caught Ron's eye, blowing him a kiss. But distracted by the _haute couture _teen, she promptly fell down a stairwell.

Kim wagged her head in wonder. "Haven't these people ever seen style before?"

Ron grinned, "Ooh, somebody's jellin'."

"So not."

Two more French girls walked by, giggling and waving at Ron. Kim gave them a dirty look.

Ron smirked, "Oh yeah?"

Kim finally caved. "Okay, yes. And do you want to know why? I find it very annoying that clothes and hair care have suddenly become the center of the universe."

A few more teen females walked by, reacting the same way as those before. But Ron gave them scant notice, his attention now completely focused on his future girlfriend and wife.

He thought to himself, "_No, Kim. You're the center of my universe. And I swear by all the Nacos in the world that I won't lose you this time._"

But out loud he nonchalantly commented, "But they've _always_ been the center of the universe, KP. And I only found out about that thanks to you."

His trademark goofy smile began to creep onto his face as he considered uping his game a bit. "Uh, Kim?"

But before he could continue, the lights in Paris started going off all at once.

"Whoa."

Next, the lights on the Eiffel tower went completely dark.

**"**That's really weird, Kim. You better call Wade."

Kim nodded. "Yeah, I think you're right."

Flipping on her Kimmunicator, her tech geek immediately appeared.

"Wade, the power just went off in all of Paris. What's the sitch?"

**"**Let me check Kim." A moment later, a shocked look appeared on his face. "Whoa! It's not just Paris: rolling blackouts are hitting all over Europe!"

"This could be so the drama, Wade. Can you trace the source?"

"Sure thing, Kim. It looks like it's centered at a point in the Atlantic about a hundred miles equidistant between Europe and Africa. Sending coordinates now."

"Super. Now, how about some transportation?"

"Coming right up, guys. And I think I have just the ticket…"

A few minutes later, a pilotless helicopter landed in the dark clearing next to the two teens.

As they climbed in, Kim looked worried.** "**Uh, Wade? No one's at the controls. Is this thing really safe?"

Ron gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "No problemo, Kim. This Drone Chopper is totally badical. The French military uses it for missions too risky for humans. And it's probably a lot safer than my scooter."

Wade's eyebrow's shot up in surprise. "Uh, Ron? That info is top secret. How did you know?"

He quickly backpedaled. "Uh, it was on one of Barkin's pop-quizzes last week? I'll ask him about it when we get back."

Ron heaved a sigh of relief at the close call. "_I've really got to stop tipping my hand about what I know. That could ruin everything…_"

A few hours later, Kim announced, "Okay, Wade. We've reached the coordinates, but my map doesn't show anything here."

Ron spoke up. "Uh, Kim? Looks like somebody left their lights on, big time."

Below them lay an uncharted island lit up with an enormous light bulb, its cover over 100 feet in diameter.

As they debarked, Kim gawked,** "**Wow. Will you get a load of that?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah, no wonder Europe's blacked out."

A stocky young man, only a few years older than Kim and Ron, approached them. He called out,** "**Father, it appears that more delivery people have arrived."

The man's older and much more distinguished looking father stepped out the door and warmly addressed the newcomers.** "**Very good! Have you brought us more lighting? I am expecting several thousand LED's in a cornucopia of dazzling colors."

"Uh, no, actually. I'm Kim Possible, and this is my friend Ron Stoppable."

"And I am Señor Senior, Senior. And this is my son, Señor Senior, Junior. Welcome to my home."

Junior looked Ron over.** "**Your haircut, it is very nice."

Ron answered, "Thanks. I use Le Goop."

Junior brightened up, noting that not only was Ron's haircut similar to his, but so was his entire outfit.** "**So do I! And your clothes, they wonderfully harmonize."

Ron nudged Kim and whispered, "See, KP? Center of the universe!"

Kim gave him a roll of her eyes before continuing, "We're actually here to speak with you about your enormous power use. Unfortunately, it's causing massive blackouts all throughout Europe."

He appeared genuinely surprised. "Indeed? Well, why don't you come inside, and we will discuss the matter."

As they entered his magnificent home, Kim was awe-stuck by its incredible opulence.

"Wow, Señor Senior Sr., your home is absolutely spankin'."

He bowed slightly. "Thank you. I am very much into home improvement at present. I was even asked to be on a House and Garden TV episode of 'Love It or Leave It' fairly recently. However, the two hosts were incredibly rude and pushy, so I politely declined. I understand that's simply their… 'hook,' so to speak, but I am a cultured gentlemen and cannot lower myself to that level."

Kim politely replied, "Home improvement's really great, but energy these days is a precious resource, and we all have to do our part to conserve. We live in a global village now, and are interdependent on each other to act responsibly."

Ron chided, "Village? With the power he's using here, he could probably run a few cities, plus Disneyworld on a hot day!"

Kim warned, "_Ronnn_…"

"Sorry."

"But Miss Possible, I am but a simple multi-billionaire. I cannot believe that what I do would have any effect on anyone."

"Uh, try blackouts all over Europe?"

"Ah, yes. And these people without energy, are they... _inconvenienced_, perhaps?"

"Yes, sir. Very."

Señor Senior Sr. frowned at this news. "Well, that is not very gentlemanly of me now, eh? And how awful it must be to be poor. But, then, what can I do?"

Kim suggested, **"**Well, you _could_ turn off that huge sunlamp to start with."

Junior whined,** "**But I need an incredible tan if I am to be the teen pop star I desire to become!"

Ron interjected, "Dude, people care more about how you sing than how bronzed you are. Besides, there's lots of tanning creams you can use that will have the same effect. And it's better for your skin, too."

Junior nodded in understanding. "Ah yes, I must have the smooth skin for the ladies. So I can have my cake and consume it as well, yes?"

Ron grinned, "Now you're talking!"

Having successfully planted the new idea in Junior's tiny man-child brain, he turned toward Señor Senior Sr. and took a deep breath. His heart rate and respiration both went up a notch, knowing that he was about to make his first major diversion from the previous timeline.

"And sir? Uh, you could use a new hobby. Instead of sucking up huge amounts of energy, maybe you could use your humongous financial resources to become, well, a bon-diggity _philanderer_!"

The gentlemen's eyes widened in shock, while Kim gave Ron a horrified look. She hissed through tightly clenched teeth, "Ron! What do you think you're doing?"

The shock of his verbal faux pas hit him harder then _Bricks of Fury IV, Concrete Apocalypse_.

Ron quickly corrected himself. "Whoa! Philanthropist! _Phil-lan-thro-pist! _That's what I meant to say!"

Señor Senior Sr. merely chuckled. "Yes, yes of course. I _thought_ that's what you meant to say, young man."

Kim and Ron both visibly relaxed.

"And I must agree, your idea has great merit. I have all the money I need, and the thought of a new hobby to commit my vast financial resources to in order to benefit all mankind rather appeals to me. This is a very good idea indeed, and I shall certainly give it some serious thought."

Kim cheerfully added, "That's great to hear, sir."

"And thank _you_, Miss Possible, for pointing out the consequences of my actions, accidental though they were. I trust that you will not hold my inadvertent _evil_ act against me in the future, eh?"

Ron winced at that word, knowing full well the villains he had accidentally spawned in the prior timeline.

Kim beamed, "Of course not. Having dealt with lots of villains in my crime-fighting past, you're _far _from being a bad guy. In fact, you're one of the politest gentlemen I've ever met."

Ron heartily agreed. "Yeah! Totally not evil! No evil lair here! Just a huge castle of philanthropic goodness!"

Kim looked at him askance. "Uh, yeah, riiiight…"

She grabbed Ron's arm and prepared to leave. "Nice to meet you both!" she called over her shoulder as she hastened Ron out the door.

Ron added, "And good luck with that pop star career, Junior!"

He chuckled softly to himself, "You're gonna need it…_"_

Once outside, Kim took Ron to task. "Laying it on a bit thick, weren't you?"

Ron responded with a weak smile and a tiny shrug. "Maybe, but I just wanted to make sure I didn't accidentally give him any evil ideas about turning his castle into a villainous lair, with self-activating lasers, a pond full of piranhas, or Spinning Tops of Doom."

Kim's jaw dropped. "_What?_ Ron, that's one incredibly overactive imagination you've got. And I'm 100% sure that never would have happened. I'm just glad I nipped this little problem in the bud before it _really_ got out of hand."

Ron breathed a small sigh of relief. "Yeah, Kim, me too. Me too…"

* * *

**_III._**

As Kim and Ron winged their way back to Middleton a few hours later, Kim seemed to be in an introspective mood. Sensing the reason why, Ron tried to draw her out. "Say, KP. You've been awfully quiet since we left the Senior's island. A penny for your thoughts?"

Kim continued to stare out the window for a moment, finally turning to Ron with a chagrined look. "Ron, about your new haircut and clothes…"

"What about them, Kim?" He tried to play dumb, but knew what was coming.

"Well, I had no idea how popular you'd become with the girls…"

"Yeah, I've become quite the babe magnet," he agreed.

Kim winced. "Yeah, you have."

"And that, uh, bothers you?"

"Well, a little. And mind you, not from a jellin' viewpoint, you understand."

He tried not to smirk. "Of course."

"It's just that, on second thought, I don't think that it's really… _you_."

Ron took several moments to answer as he considered her words. "Y'know Kim, while you were napping about an hour ago, I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror, and…"

"And?" A hopeful look appeared on her face.

"And I saw… just a shallow hottie. Like an Amelia, or even a Bonnie."

He laughed self-consciously. "Heh-heh, on a _good_ day, that is. When they have all their makeup on and their hair done, and their tight clothes are just…"

One of Kim's eyebrows began to creep up.

Ron winced inwardly. "_Ooh, I really need to shut up before I dig myself in any deeper_."

He backpedaled, "And mind you, they may be attractive, but I'm just not attracted to _them_. You understand?"

She tried not to snicker. "Of course."

"I guess it's just that the ladies that have the hots for the New Ron aren't exactly my type. Oh, it's a nice ego boost to be popular, but I feel like I'm acting out a roll, like I'm in some kind of sick and wrong teen TV drama. It's... it's just not me, Kim."

Kim looked immediately relieved. "I'm so glad to hear you say that, Ron. And I think I've learned the hard way that you gotta be careful about what you say. I mean, one little thing, like…"

**"**Like, _you need a new hairstyle_?"

Kim cringed.** "**Yeah, just like that. Sorry, Ron."

"That's okay, Kim. You meant well, and were just trying to do what you thought was best."

_Just like what I'll be trying to do for the next few years…_

"So I've decided I'm going back to be the old Ron as soon as we get home. Besides, it wasn't really the haircut that made me popular, people were just seeing my new confidence. So I'll lose the do and the duds, keep the confidence, and I'll be golden."

He gave a mirthless chuckle, knowing that wouldn't be the case at all. He'd still be as unpopular as ever, but at least he was one step closer with Kim.

"That sounds like a great idea, Ron." _Then I won't be jellin' either._

Ron broke out in a huge smile as he picked up on Kim's unguarded thought. He silently thanked the powers that be that he still maintained the mind-reading abilities that he had gained in the original timeline.

"But you know what the worst thing is, Kim? Pleather doesn't breathe. _At all_."

Ron chafed in his seat as Kim broke out in a fit of giggles.

Several hours later they were on final approach to the Middleton Airport. Ron stretched his legs and smiled inwardly, gratified with the positive outcome of his first covert mission. He had succeeded in correcting his original grievous error in suggesting that Señor Senior Sr. turn his castle into an evil lair and take up villainy as a hobby.

"_Yeah, now that I've put the bug in his ear about becoming a philanthropist instead of a supervillain, that's one sick and wrong suggestion permanently put to beddy-bye. I'm sure that everything's gonna be fine now_…"

* * *

_**IV.**_

At that moment, Señor Senior Sr. was sitting at his computer, having finally decided to take Ron's advice.

"Well now, who shall I be philanthropic toward with my untold billions? Hmm, first I will avoid all the usual charities and pick something… unusual. Ah, maybe a few inventors, yes?"

He accessed a search engine and began to type. "Let me see, I will start by choosing individuals with impeccable credentials, certainly with no less than a doctorate, of course." He typed in, '_Doctor._'

"And creative people, known for their incredible inventions, and for thinking outside the box." He typed in, '_Scientist_' and '_Inventor_.'

"And lastly, men known for their desire to take over the world, so to speak, in their own areas of expertise." He typed in '_Take over the world_' and clicked Enter.

After a few moments, three names popped up.

"Dr. Drew Lipsky. A decent, upstanding name. And a clever website, although _quite_ a few years out of date."

He clicked on the next name.

"Dr. Cyrus Bortel. Yes, a very creative and promising inventor, very promising indeed. His proposed devices concerning the human mind are quite intriguing."

He smiled as the last name appeared.

"Professor Dementor. A German, and quite the dramatic music on his website. Hmm, perhaps he enjoyed the music of Richard Wagner in his youth, or perhaps Hans Zimmer?"

He nodded in satisfaction. "And all three of these inventors seem to be in dire need of funding for their various scientific projects."

Scratching his chin in thought, he mumbled to himself, "Now for motivation. Although money is a terrific incentive, results are also quite important. Perhaps I can use all three of them and place them in, shall we say, a gentlemen's competition for the most unique and effective creations, yes? Well then, there's no time like the present."

He picked up the phone and dialed the first number.

"Hello? This is the multibillionaire Señor Senior Senior calling. Do I have the pleasure of speaking to Dr. Drew Lipsky?"

Dr. Drakken raised a questioning eyebrow, thinking that this might be some kind of practical joke.

"Speaking…"

"I am looking to invest a great deal of my finances in… philanthropic endeavors. Particularly in inventions that would benefit all mankind. Might this be something in which you would be interested?"

Recalling that Señor Senior Sr. was indeed one of the richest men in the world, he did some fast checking on his own computer, quickly identifying the phone number as legitimate.

A broad smile appeared on Drakken's face. "Yes, indeed! _Quite_ interested. With your help, I could…"

The phrase 'achieve ultimate world domination' flashed through his mind, but he wisely left that unspoken. "I could… _change the world_."

"Very good! Let me wire you, shall we say, one million dollars to begin with, and see where it goes from there?"

He cackled, "That would _certainly_ be adequate to start."

After giving him his bank account information, Dr. Drakken hung up the phone and began to chuckle, quickly breaking out into an even wilder, eviler laugh. A laugh that, ironically, sounded eerily similar to Señor Senior Sr.'s Evil Laugh #2, a wicked cackle used by the now non-existent villain in the now defunct timestream.

* * *

_Stay tuned for next week's episode, as a malevolent_ _man-monkey meets his match. _

_**TBC…**_


	3. Monkey Fist Strikes Out

_Welcome to the third outing in my newest sci-fi epic. For those who have asked, many of the opening chapters will be devoted to the developments in the alternate universe. But don't worry, we'll stop in on our expectant mothers-to-be from time to time. This week, the forewarned and forearmed altRon takes on Monkey Fist, who of course won't realize what's hit him until it's all over. And makes some interesting discoveries as well... _

_A mucho grande thanks to this week's many reviewers: EchidnaPower, ajw1970, Jimmy1201, CajunBear73, sparrowhawk63, Joyce LaKee, Sentinel103, Eddy13, Konan15, delta dawn and dusk, Bookworm Gal, and OMAC001. And leave a review, get a reply, from one dimension or another..._

* * *

_**Monkey Fist Strikes Out**_

* * *

_**I.**_

A ninja-like form stood silently before the dark castle. A cool wind gently blew in from the east, bringing with it wisps of the ubiquitous London fog. But this was the city of Maidenhead, and tonight's weather report was for only patchy mist. The solitary figure frowned, hoping that visibility would have been near zero. Even though he knew that the owner of this estate and his butler were currently on their way to Southeast Asia, he didn't want to take any chances in being spotted by anyone. For much depended on this mission. If successful, an ancient mystical energy source would be denied to its current evil owner, and yet another villain would be thwarted. He smiled, pleased that he would thereafter remain the sole guardian and protector of this primeval power.

The figure skulked to a side window. He stopped for a moment upon hearing a sound, but it was only an owl catching his evening meal. The rodent squealed in pain for a moment, and then was silent. The dark form recalled his past, which now paradoxically still lay in the future, when the entire world would scream in pain and then forevermore be silent. This errand would be a step toward preventing that disaster.

He silently pried open the window, and with a tiny flash of blue energy, disabled the burglar alarm. Quickly climbing in, he quietly padded toward the study. Pulling the center candle next to the bookcase, the wall slid open to reveal a hidden tunnel that led deep into the bowels of the castle. Rapidly descending the dark stairs, he opened the door to the secret chamber. He smiled instantly as the soft green glow of three jade monkeys illuminated the room.

"Hi, guys. Remember me?"

He promptly grabbed each idol and stuffed them into his knapsack.

"And soon you'll be reunited with your fourth brother. But this time it won't be here, it'll be at _my_ place…"

Speedily retracing his steps back up the stairs, he swiftly exited the window. Pulling off his mask, he shook his matted red hair back into its normal unkempt style, and within an hour he was back at Heathcolumn Airport and checking his baggage for the return flight to Middleton.

As the bags were being scrutinized by the x-ray machine operator, he was tempted to send the silent command, "_These aren't the monkeys you're looking for. He can go about his business_…" Instead, with another tiny flash of blue, they now appeared on the screen as an innocuous shaver, hairdryer, and jar of Le Goop, grande-sized.

After the wide-bodied airliner took off, the very pleased Mystical Monkey Master tried to finish Mr. Barkin's extra homework assignment, due exactly ten hours from now. But the exhausted teen was soon fast asleep, quietly dreaming his simian reveries.

* * *

_**II.**_

One day later, Ron found himself hanging upside down by a rope with his pants around his ankles, a not altogether unusual circumstance for him.

He whined to no one in particular, "Okay, this is a setback, but in hindsight, I should have seen it coming."

Ron lowered himself to the ground just as Kim made a pinpoint landing after parachuting off a sheer cliff within the Grand Canyon. In her hands she held a tiny condor chick, its wing broken by a falling rock.

"You're safe now, little one. Time to get that wing fixed." The baby bird gave a pleasant chirp in reply.

A park ranger drove up, a stern look on her face. "Excuse me, but we frown on people parachuting off of…"

The ranger's frown instantly turned into a warm smile. "Oh! Kim Possible. My apologies. And it looks like you've saved a California condor chick."

Kim gave a small shrug. "Yeah, it's what I do. You know, the rescue thing?"

"Thank you, Kim. Even though we've gone to extraordinary lengths to reintroduce this critically endangered species to its native habitat, there are only a few hundred of these in the wild at present. You're to be highly commended for your action. But how on earth did you find it?"

"No big. This bird's been micro-chipped, and I've got an RFID scanner in my Kimmunicator. But getting to it was a little problematic."

She looked back up the tall cliff face and gave an involuntary shudder. Just then, Ron walked up.

"Yeah, those microchips sure can come in handy." He reached back to touch the spot on his neck where his own chip was located and thought, "_And I still don't know how Wade implanted that without my knowing. When this is all over, he and I are gonna have a little talk_."

Just then, her Kimmunicator began urgently beeping. "What's the sitch, Wade… Oh! _Dad_. What are you doing on this frequency?"

Her father did not look happy. "Where in the world are you, Kim? You _know_ this is family game night. Your Aunt June and Cousin Larry have just arrived."

Kim apologized, "Sorry, Dad. Rescuing a baby condor took priority."

The ranger interjected, "That's one brave daughter you have, sir. And I'm sure she does you proud, if you don't mind me saying."

He smiled back wanly. "Yes she does, but she's a real handful sometimes."

Kim struggled to keep any sarcasm from coloring her voice. "So would you please apologize to Cousin Larry for me, and tell him I'll look forward to next month's game night, please and thank you?"

She added a Puppy-Dog Pout for good measure.

This earned her a chuckle from her father. "Will do, Kimmie-cub. I know he'll be disappointed, but hopefully he'll understand. Bye for now."

As she closed the connection, she pumped her arm in victory. "Yesss! And Kim makes her escape! Close one, Larry. Better luck next time."

The ranger asked, "I take it your cousin's a bit of a loser?"

"Yeah, he's creepy to the max."

Ron commented, "But _I've_ always gotten along with him fine…"

Kim sniggered, "Not surprising, since you both have more than just a few geeky things in common."

Ron's mind began to wander. _"Yeah, just like you and your other cousin, Sheila Go. And you'll each be sharing some real cool superpowers once that badical comet hits you both just a few years from now…"_

Kim continued to drone, "But Larry's _so_ above and beyond with all his roll-playing games. And then there are all of those weird conventions he goes to in those creepy costumes of his. And last month I learned everything I _never_ wanted to know about that dumb Citadel of Doom computer game…"

Ron flared, "Hey! Don't knock it, KP. Citadel of Doom is one of my favorite games! I spent all last night with just a game controller and the power of my imagination trying to crack Level 12."

Kim scoffed, "Yeah, I was wondering why you weren't answering your phone all evening."

He smiled inwardly, glad that he had a ready-made cover story for his covert mission to England. Just then, Wade walked up to them, plain as day.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

Kim looked extremely surprised. "Wade! What are you doing here in Arizona? You've never been out of your room as long as I've known you!"

Ron exclaimed, "Way to go, dude!"

But when he tried to give Wade a high-five, his hand passed right through his chubby pre-teen friend.

"Whoa! Cool hologram!"

Wade's eyebrows shot up. "Wow, Ron. You sure figured _that _out quick."

"What, you thought I was gonna mistake you for a _ghost _or something?"

"Maybe. But you gotta admit that's what you'd usually do, and then totally freak out."

Ron weakly replied, "Heh-heh, guilty as charged."

"Anyway, just a little field experiment on a project I've been working on. With this technology, you can actually be in two places at once! Might come in handy for some of your missions, Kim."

HoloWade disappeared, immediately reappearing on Kim's wrist Kimmunicator. "In any case, Kim, you just got a website hit from a Lord Montgomery Fiske."

Ron perked up. "Ooh! That English archeologist guy on the Uncovery Channel. Isn't he the one that's ape about apes?"

"Very good, Ron! One in the same. He wants Kim's help in recovering an ancient artifact. I've already arranged for transportation. Got your passports?"

Kim replied, "As always, Wade. So, where are we headed?"

"Southeast Asia. Cambodia to be exact…"

* * *

_**III.**_

Twenty hours later, Kim and Ron were trudging through the steamy jungle in Cambodia's Angkor region.

"Wow, Ron. Talk about sweltering."

"Yeah, KP. It's not the heat that'll get you, it's the stupidity."

"Uh, Ron? You mean _humidity_, don't you?"

"Humidity, schmoo-pidity, all I know is that I'd like to take a nice cool bath when we're done here."

"Which may be a while. Wade said there are over a thousand ancient temples in this region alone, and now my GPS is on the fritz. I hope Lord Fiske is on the lookout for us, since I have no idea where we are now."

Ron smirked, "Not to worry, Kim. After all my sick and wrong experiences with monkeys, I've got a sixth sense about these things. I think our destination is right ahead."

No sooner had he spoken, than an ancient temple appeared out of the mist, festooned with intricate carvings of monkeys, baboons and orangutans.

"Whoa, Ron. How did you…"

He shot her a cryptic smile. "Sixth sense, Kim. Sixth sense…"

Kim thought to herself, "_That's_ _weird. Wade didn't mention anything about monkeys. So how could Ron have possibly known_…"

Her musings were interrupted by two men who had just appeared out of the temple's entrance. Garbed in green fatigues and an ascot around his neck, the taller man had wavy black hair and rather largish ears, and wore an intense expression. Following him was a much shorter and plumper individual wearing a khaki outfit and sporting a pair of dark brown mutton chops. The first man began to speak.

"Kim Possible, I presume? Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lord Monty Fiske, and this is my valet, Bates."

Kim smiled and politely shook his gloved hand. "Nice to meet you, Lord Fiske. And this is my friend, Ron Stoppable."

Ron, however, seemed to have taken an instant dislike to the English Lord. His thinly disguised animosity was nearly palpable as he glared back at the archeologist.

Bates remarked to Kim, "Your friend seems rather intense…"

Fiske agreed, giving Ron a suspicious look. "Yes. Quite."

Kim laughed lightly as she apologized, "Oh, don't mind Ron. All these monkey carvings are probably giving him a flashback to his first summer at Camp Wannaweep and his altercation with Bobo the Chimp, the camp's mascot."

Ron's eyes narrowed as he bit out, "Yeah, that was one cah-_razy_ monkey."

Lord Fiske blithely continued, "Of course, chimpanzees belong to the _ape_ family. They're not monkeys at all, you know."

Ron growled, "No matter _what_ they are, they all hold stuff with their feet. But at least _they_ were born that way."

He grinned dangerously at the archeologist and slowly continued, "They're not actually _freaks of nature_, of course."

Their eyes locked eyes for a few moments. But while Ron's eyes continued to emanate a cold hatred, Fiske's showed utter surprise.

"_Now, how could he possibly know…"_

Quickly regaining his composure, Fiske uttered, "No, of course not."

The two Englishmen proceeded back into the temple, motioning for the teens to follow.

Monty Fiske quietly whispered to his valet, "Keep a close eye on the one called Stoppable, Bates. I suspect that boy knows _far_ more than he should."

Meanwhile, Kim hissed, "Ron, get a grip! What's gotten into you, anyway?"

The teen murmured back under his breath low enough not to be heard by the others, "Mark my words, KP. His lordship is a thousand miles of wrongsick road."

Kim scoffed back, "Ron, that's ridiculous. He's a highly respected scholar as well as a world-famous explorer."

Ron's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, and a few _other _things too, I'm sure…"

As soon as they entered the temple, Fiske sternly announced, "As Mr. Stoppable apparently has some serious _simian_ issues, I believe I shall direct all further communication to Miss Possible, exclusively."

He pulled out an antiquated parchment. "The artifact I'd like you to recover is a statue made out of pure jade, and according to this map, is located right here." He indicated the temple's location to Kim.

"And what's this statue of, exactly? Or do I even have to guess?"

"A monkey, Miss Possible. There is an ancient myth that states that by aligning it precisely with three others just like it, a mystical monkey power would be generated."

He pointed to the upper corner of the ancient papyrus. Four jade monkeys could be seen on the faded map, a translucent ray of glowing yellow light connecting each of the monkey statues.

"Total nonsense, of course. However, that myth is what gives this icon its inestimable value. And alas, at our age, neither Bates nor I have the necessary agility to recover it."

"Which is where I come in," she stated.

"Precisely," he smoothly replied.

She turned to her sidekick. "Okay, Ron. Let's do this."

As he followed her deeper within the temple, Ron warned, "Just watch your step, KP. Remember what happened in the first Missouri Smith movie when he stepped on that…"

A trap door suddenly opened beneath them, sending them both tumbling down a long, dusty shaft. Landing hard at the bottom of a rocky chamber, Ron groaned painfully, "Ooh, yeah. Just like that."

Quickly scrambling to her feet, Kim turned on her flashlight. "Ewww. More monkeys."

The rocky heads of three giant simians stared down at them, their jaws opening and closing as if to make a meal of whoever dared enter the ancient temple.

"Gross. At least the walls aren't…"

A deep grinding sound was heard as the walls began to move.

"_Closing in on us!_" Ron screamed, finishing her sentence.

"Hold on, Ron!"

Quickly pulling out her hair dryer grappling gun, she fired back up the shaft, pulling them both back to the ground floor just as the walls closed with a heavy thump.

"Ron, we gotta find that monkey and get out of here, quick."

"I second that emotion, Kim. Hey, look! Here's another corridor."

They proceeded carefully down the dank, dark hallway. But this time, gruesome stone monkey heads in the walls began spewing out huge tongues of flame.

"Whoa!" Cartwheeling through the gauntlet of flames, Kim escaped with barely a singe.

Catching her breath, she gasped, "Cheerleading sure has some spankin' fringe benefits."

Ron wasn't quite as lucky, however. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" he yelled, quickly smothering the flames that were burning his behind. "Speak for yourself, KP!"

She quickly held up her hand. "Ron, quiet! What's that sound?"

The disembodied voices of hundreds of screaming simians met their ears.

"Sounds like a flock of sick and wrong monkeys, Kim."

She grimaced. "I think it's called a _troop_ of monkeys, Ron."

"Or a barrel of monkeys, but I'm not having as much fun as one at the moment…"

They proceeded up the stony stairs and toward the terrifying sounds. Reaching the top, they looked down upon a large cavern below. Though no monkeys were visible, Kim immediately spotted the jade idol amongst a pit of spikes.

"Stay here, Ron. I'll go get it."

Carefully slipping over the edge, Kim hung by one hand while Ron griped, "Spikes. Why did it have to be spikes…"

Suddenly, vicious snakes appeared out of holes in the cavern wall and began snapping at them.

"AAAHHH! Just making a joke!"

Kim barely avoided the bite of one snake, but lost her grip and began falling to the pit below.

"Kim!"

Ron prepared to use his Mystical Monkey Power to break Kim's fall, even though he knew this might blow his cover. But quickly snagging a spike with her elastic hair band, she called back, "I'm okay! No big!"

Relieved that she had escaped her close call, Ron dispatched several snakes with his mystical powers while Kim wasn't looking. "Take _that_, you slimy reptiles, _whatever _a group of you are called!" Immediately sensing Ron's powers, the rest went quickly slithering off, wanting nothing further to do with his deadly arcane energy.

Lowering herself to the floor, Kim carefully approached the idol.

Ron yelled, "Wait, Kim! Don't pick that…"

But she had already grabbed the monkey statue. "Ron! I've got it!"

Too late, Ron completed his warning. "…up."

All at once the spikes started to disappear into the floor of the pit, whereupon the entire floor began tilting precariously back and forth.

Now completely off-balance, Kim hollered, "Whoa! Some help here, Ron!"

He yelled back, "Throw me the idol, I'll throw you the rope!"

Kim cocked an eyebrow and simply glared back at him. "No time for movie quotes, Ron…"

He chuckled, "Sorry Kim, I've always wanted to say that…"

Throwing her the rope, she easily caught it. But losing his own balance, Ron fell headlong to the cave floor himself.

"Whoa-oh-oh!"

Quickly wrapping his end of the rope around a protrusion on the wall, he was able to slow his fall. But not enough to avoid crashing into Kim, accidentally knocking the jade monkey from her grasp.

"Sorry, KP!" Quickly grabbing the idol, he stuffed it into his knapsack. And not a moment too soon, as they were both suddenly dumped through another tunnel which led back to the temple's entrance. Monty Fisk and Bates both applauded the two dusty but otherwise unharmed heroes.

"Excellent work, Miss Possible!" With a little less enthusiasm, he added, "Oh, and you too, Stoppable."

Ron handed him the statue, wheezing, "So _this_ is what all the monkey business has been about."

Fiske carefully rolled the now softly glowing idol over in his hands, a look of manic glee briefly lighting up his face. "Yes, indeed. And I shall see to it that both of you are rewarded handsomely by the National Museum for your noble efforts."

Ron caught a glimpse from Fiske's mind of exactly what he had planned for their eventual 'reward,' and shivered.

Kim cheerfully replied, "It was no big, Lord Fiske. Happy to help."

* * *

_**IV.**_

Later that evening, the pair were eating the last of their rations and warming themselves by the fire outside their tent.

Kim complained, "Wow, I can't wait to get back home for some real food. I know this freeze-dried stuff is actually nutritious, but nobody would guess that once they tasted it."

"I hear you, KP. Too bad Bueno Nacho isn't open 24 hours yet."

He added with a humorless laugh, "And right now, the nearest one is in Tokyo, anyway."

Kim noticed that Ron hadn't spoken a word about Fiske after he had handed him the jade monkey. Out of curiosity, Kim queried, "Ron, about your reaction to Lord Fiske earlier. When you first met him, you looked like you were ready to pick a fight with him right on the spot. But everything seems cool now, right?"

He narrowed his eyes and mumbled, "He's still a long, bad road, Kim. I can feel it. But I'm gonna try not to lose any sleep over it."

He grinned to himself and thought,_ "Especially since I switched the real jade monkey with a copy when I accidentally crashed into you today. Which means Monkey Fist only has a phony, while I now have the four originals."_

Kim yawned. "Good. And neither am I, so I'm turning in. Goodnight."

"G'night, Kim. I'm gonna stay up just a little while longer."

"Well, don't stay up too late. We've got to start hiking back at sunrise if we expect to make it to our flight on time."

Twenty minutes passed by while Ron remained on alert, knowing who'd soon be appearing. Suddenly, Ron heard a distant monkey scream, and spotted movement in the trees on the other side of the clearing. He hissed, "Kim, I think there's a monkey in the camp! And he's moving toward Fiske's tent!"

Kim groaned, "You're just seeing things, Ron. Go to sleep!"

He spotted a dark figure slipping into the archeologist's tent, emerging a few seconds later with the jade idol.

"Oh, wait. Never mind, it's only a hooded ninja."

Kim was instantly wide awake and popped her head out of the tent. "A _ninja_? And he's got the monkey!"

The teen heroine launched herself out of the tent in pursuit of the darkly clad figure. She immediately engaged him in hand-to-hand combat, but he easily deflected every one of her attacks.

"_Whoa. This guy's good."_

She next tried a scissors kick. But the ninja simply leapt straight up, completely avoiding the assault. When he landed, she struck the ninja with a few deft Kung Fu moves, knocking the statue out of the ninja's hands, whereupon it rolled right into the tent next to Ron.

He yelled out, "I've got it, Kim! Don't worry, I'm not letting it out of my…"

But running on all fours, the ninja sprinted toward Ron in mere seconds, swiftly collapsing the tent. Kim quickly closed the distance between her and the thief, and the confused fracas continued. Finally tossing the tent aside, Kim was again able to knock the idol out of the ninja's grasp.

"Catch, Ron!"

Holding it high, Ron exclaimed, "I've got it, Kim!"

But the ninja deftly plucked the idol from Ron's hands, while simultaneously grabbing Kim around the ankles, swinging her as hard as possible into her sidekick, where they landed together in a painful heap.

"Ow! Ow!" Ron wailed. Kim was instantly on her feet again, but it was too late. The hooded figure had thrown down a tiny smoke bomb to cover his escape, and disappeared into the dark night.

"Just great. The ninja's gone, right along with that monkey statue."

Monty Fiske exited from his tent and queried, "What's going on out here?"

Kim apologized, "Sorry Lord Fiske, but someone's just stolen your jade monkey."

In mock surprise Fiske declared, "Well, that's simply awful!"

Bates agreed, "Awful indeed, milord."

"Somehow, the secret of this temple must have been discovered by someone else. And now the idol is irretrievably lost! What a dreadful thing to happen. And such a shame that your plucky courage has come to naught, Miss Possible."

Kim eyed him suspiciously. "Yeah, a real shame…"

But for his part, Ron tried to keep from smiling. For he knew that this little fracas had been staged for their benefit in order to draw suspicion away from Monty Fiske, and place it instead on the mysterious ninja. But Ron already knew that Monty and the ninja were one in the same.

If Kim had not been present, Ron would have used the full range of his Mystical Monkey Power on the faux ninja and easily defeated him. And after turning him over to the authorities, Monkey Fist would have posed no further threat. But the Mystical Monkey Master feared that if Kim became aware of the full extent of his powers, it might bend the new timeline into new and unknown directions.

"_Yeah, best to keep things as close to the old timeline as possible, just to be safe_. _Besides, I'd love to see the look on Monkey Fist's face when he discovers that his three statues are missing, and that the one he has now is a fake…_"

* * *

_**V.**_

Back in Middleton in a few days later, Kim and Ron were enjoying a meal at the local Bueno Nacho.

"Wow, Kim. After several days of freeze-dried rations and airline peanuts, this chimarito tastes like absolute heaven."

Rufus was busy stuffing his face with some cheese nachos. But for her part, Kim only picked at her salad.

"Yeah, heaven…"

Noticing her depressed mood, Ron asked, "What's up, Kim? Still worried about losing that monkey statue?"

"Well, yeah, a little. Even though it wasn't our fault."

Ron grinned back, "Don't worry about it, Kim. I'm sure it'll turn up safe and sound, and in the right hands."

"I sure hope so. But now I've been invited over to Aunt June and Cousin Larry's on Saturday to make up for the game night I missed. And I'm not looking forward to an evening of Larry Mayhem I, II _or_ III."

Ron frowned, "Ooh, too bad I couldn't help run interference for you, Kim, but I'm busy myself."

Kim perked up a bit and slyly inquired, "Oh, really? What, have a hot date with Amelia?"

Ron dismissively waved his hand. "Nah, that was over before it even started. She couldn't get over me changing my hair back to normal. So, her loss."

He took another big bite of his chimarito. "Actually my parents will be out for the evening, so I'll be Rufus-sitting. I'm gonna try to teach the little scamp here some new tricks."

"Well, good luck with_ that_. He doesn't do much except eat."

Ron cryptically replied, "Yeah, but I think that's all about to change…"

Just then, her Kimmunicator beeped. "What's the sitch, Wade?"

"I've been doing some research on those monkey statues, Kim."

"Yeah, and?"

"Lord Fiske was right about that legend. Four temples were built by warriors who were followers of something called Monkey Kung Fu. And each temple contained a jade idol."

Both Kim and Ron were now rapt with attention.

Kim questioned, "Monkey Kung Fu? What's that?"

"It's apparently a martial arts style enhanced by Mystical Monkey Power, gained by its users when the four monkey statues were brought into close proximity with each other."

"That makes sense. Lord Fiske's map had four of those idols on it, connected by a strange yellow light. But why keep them in separate locations?"

Ron surmised, "Probably so no one else could get the power, Kim."

"Yeah, and maybe that ninja we ran into heard about the legend, and grabbed the idol himself!"

Wade nodded. "There's a good chance that's what happened, Kim. Maybe you could talk to Lord Fiske. Remember that he's the world authority on all this things."

"Well, since we helped him, maybe he'll help us. Wade, if you can snag us a ride, we could discuss this with him in person this weekend."

Ron wagged his head. "Kim, aren't you forgetting game night with Larry? And I've got my Rufus-sitting to do."

Wade suggested, "Can't either of you flake? This might be important."

"Sorry Wade, no flaking allowed this time. I'm already in hot water with Dad about missing my last play date. How about next weekend?"

Wade responded with a grin like the Cheshire Cat. "Or, how about this?"

A holographic Kim instantly appeared. "If I may, how about sending me?"

She was immediately followed by a holographic Ron. "Me too! Wouldn't that be badical?"

Both Kim and Ron scrutinized their respective avatars. Kim nodded in approval. "Pretty cool, Wade. You rock as usual, and this time in stereo."

"Thanks! And I've been looking for an excuse to give my holographic generator a real good field test."

Holo-Kim began to speak in a saccharine voice. "Wow, Larry, real nice costume! Did you get that at the convention or did you make it yourself?"

Not to be outdone, Holo-Ron looked down at Rufus with a cheese nacho in his hand. "Sit up, Rufus!"

The real Rufus immediately sat up on his haunches.

"Now roll over."

Rufus happily complied, rolling over several times.

"Now beg!"

Rufus' tongue lolled out of his mouth as he anticipated the proffered treat. He immediately jumped up to snatch the delicious morsel from the Holo-Ron's hand, but was disappointed when all he bit on was thin air as the Holo-Ron fuzzed in and out of focus.

Wade apologized, "Well, they may both still have a few bugs, but I'm getting closer every day now."

Kim sighed, "This is _real_ tempting, Wade, but I better pass this time. If Dad found out about the virtual flake, I'd be grounded for a month."

Ron agreed, "Yeah, I better pass too. Wouldn't want the little fella to get too confused when he expects a treat but only ends up chomping on air."

_Besides, come Saturday night, he's going to be one supercharged naked mole rat. Mystical Monkey power, here we come… _

* * *

_**VI.**_

_Meanwhile, at_ _Lord Fiske's castle…_

"Well, Bates, my suspicions were indeed correct. Ron Stoppable tried to trick me into believing he had given me the real idol, substituting a clever replacement instead."

"But how could you tell, milord?"

The evil English Lord grimaced, "Because he left the bloody _Smarty Mart_ tag on the bottom! And not only that, he only paid $4.99 for it…"

He rolled the fake over in his hands. "Remarkable likeness however. Without the price tag, I doubt I would have been able to tell the difference, which is disturbing in and of itself. However, after assuming the form of a mysterious ninja, I was able to once again switch the idols, keeping the original in my possession. Fortunately, I didn't injure my latest _improvements_ in the process."

Monty Fiske began admiring his new simian hands and feet.

At that moment, Bates began placing the tea and crumpets he had just brought in on the coffee table, but accidentally tripped on the corner of the rug. Monkey Fist quickly caught the teapot in one hand, a cup in the other, and the sugar bowl with one foot. Pouring himself some tea, he plopped two lumps of sugar into the cup while simultaneously juggling three crumpets with his other foot.

"Apologies, milord."

"Don't mention it, Bates." He blithely continued, "And now that I have the complete set of monkey idols, I will be able to fulfill my ultimate destiny and make this Mystical Monkey Power _completely mine!_"

Sounding just like a howler monkey, Monty Fiske shrieked in pleasure.

His valet hesitantly asked, "But milord, that's just a foolish myth, isn't it?"

Fiske shot him a dangerous look. "Foolish? Like it was foolish to use the entire family fortune to have myself genetically mutated and submit to risky surgery never attempted before in all of history?"

He waved his bioengineered monkey hands in the air. "Like it was foolish to give myself these, becoming half man and half monkey, _and violate every law of man and God?!_"

He gave a small shrug as he continued matter-of-factly, "A bit out of the ordinary, but it _has_ allowed me to pursue my maniacal obsession. And now, Bates, it's time to complete the transformation. Say goodbye to Montgomery Fiske, and say hello to… _Monkey Fist!_"

He let out another wild monkey scream and began dancing about the room.

Calming down after a few moments, he laconically continued, "Let's begin, shall we?"

The pair descended down the secret passageway to the hidden chamber deep within the castle. But upon opening the door to the chamber, Monty was stunned by what he found. Or rather, what he failed to find.

"The statues! _They're gone!_"

Bates was likewise astounded. "But sir, who could have taken them? You took every precaution in their transport here, even building this room yourself to ensure total secrecy."

Monty was now livid, growling through clenched teeth, "Only one person alive, Bates. Ronald Stoppable. He must have discovered my plan somehow and pilfered my precious idols while we were on our way to Cambodia!"

He paused and nodded, acknowledging Ron's amazing feat. "There must be quite a devious mind contained within that buffoonish exterior. I will _not_ underestimate him again. But the three statues in his possession are useless without the fourth, which leaves us with but one option."

Turning quickly and ascending the stairs, he ordered, "Come, Bates. We have travel arrangements to make. Middleton, Colorado, to be precise…"

Following his master up the stairs, Bates laconically replied, "Very good, sir."

* * *

_**VII.**_

_Middleton, early Saturday evening…_

"Well, Kim, good luck with Larry. And don't let him geek you out _too_ much, remember it's just for the evening."

Ron hung up his cell phone and looked out the window, waving at his parents in the driveway as they left for the evening. Once they were gone, he pulled the four jade monkeys he'd hidden just a few days before from beneath his bed.

Looking down at Rufus, he began, "And now it's time to endow you with some Mystical Monkey Power, my tiny friend. And a badical recharge for me as well. Hopefully this will help raise your IQ a little, too."

After placing the monkey idols in each of the four corners of his room, he stood in the center with Rufus in his pocket and declared, "All right monkeys! _Hit me!"_

Nothing happened.

"Uh, hit me, please and thank you?"

But the monkeys remained silent.

He groaned, "Oh, this is _not_ good. Even if I already have Mystical Monkey Power, they should at least sense that Rufus doesn't."

Ron next tried a Puppy Dog Pout, but the only response was a dull glow from three of the statues.

"What, only three?"

He picked up the fourth idol and muttered, "Maybe this thing needs new batteries."

Turning it over, he spotted the Smarty Mart tag, and instantly paled as white as a ghost. "Oh, Fuji! Monkey Fist must have caught on to my plan and switched the statues again. Which means I have only three, and he has…"

A malevolent voice spoke from behind him.

"Looking for _this_, Ronald?"

Ron spun around, coming face to face with the evil English Lord, who was cradling the fourth bona-fide monkey idol in his arms.

"Monkey Fist!"

With a surprised raise of his eyebrows, he replied, "Quite correct, Ronald. But how you know the name of my new persona without me divulging it to you first is quite intriguing. But that's a secret I'm _happy _to let you take to your grave."

Ron scratched his chin. "Ooh, but since that's probably not going to be for at least another seventy years or so, I should probably just tell you now."

Monkey Fist responded with a deadly glare.

Ron quipped, "Heh-heh, but something tells me you'd rather _not_ have me live to my full life expectancy…"

Monkey Fist fiercely grinned back, "Very intuitive, Ron. Now, if you'll just hand over those other three idols, I'll be on my way. And I promise to make your demise swift and painless once I have complete command over the Mystical Monkey Power."

But the true Mystical Monkey Master simply gave him a derisive smirk. "Actually, Monty old chap, I've got another idea. Actions speak a lot louder than words, so _talk to the hand, Monkey Fist!_"

And with that, Ron raised his hand to summon a powerful bolt of energy sufficient to knock Monkey Fist out, but not enough to level the house. But amazingly, only a tiny fizzle of blue energy escaped from his palm.

Ron looked down at his hand in shocked surprise. "Wha-what happened? My power… gone?"

Monkey Fist sneered, "Impressive. Any other parlor tricks you'd like to share?"

Panicking, Ron blurted out, "Yeah. Just one. Here, would you hold this please?"

Thrusting the phony monkey idol into Monkey Fist's arms, he grabbed the real statue and raced out of his bedroom door and down the stairs, bowling Bates over in the process.

"Excuse me, pardon me, in kind of a hurry here!"

Running down into the basement, he quickly hid the idol in his father's metal tool chest, fastening the lock and removing the key, then turning out the light. Panting heavily in the dark, he frantically tried to figure out the reason for his power suddenly evaporating.

"Okay… so what just happened here? Maybe trying to use only three of the monkey idols short-circuited my power?"

Forcing himself to calm down, he took several deep breaths and centered himself as he envisioned the serenity chime at Yamanouchi.

"All right. He doesn't have any Mystical Monkey Power yet, but he's still adept in _Tai Shing Pek Kwar_. So we're probably fairly evenly matched in fighting skills at the moment. But that may not be good enough, so how about my mental skills?"

He tried to focus, but only got the mental equivalent of TV raster.

"Rats. No luck there, either. Think, Ron! Somehow I've got to get him away from the other statues in order for me to try to jump-start my MMP with all four working monkey idols. But how?"

Ron snapped his fingers as an idea instantly formed in his mind. He pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial for Wade just as he heard Monkey Fist open the door to the dark basement.

In a sing-song voice, Monkey Fist called out, "Come out, come out, wherever you are. I know you're down there, Ron. There's no way out, so just make it easy on yourself and give up peacefully. The pain will be much less, I assure you."

But all the evil man-monkey heard was a voice furtively hissing, "Just do it!"

At that moment, Monkey Fist glimpsed a figure out of the corner of his eye: a young redheaded teen holding a monkey idol under one arm. He quickly twirled around, but the figure was gone.

"Now how on earth did he get past me?"

Hearing a noise in the kitchen, he dashed through the door. But Ron had again disappeared into thin air. Peering out into the back yard, Ron was smiling, waving to him from the middle of the lawn. But in his haste to capture the elusive teen, Monkey Fist ran right into the sliding glass door, smashing through it with a loud crash. Dazed, he picked himself up, only to yelp in pain as he stepped on a piece of broken glass.

"Ouch! That does it! I'll terminate that boy with extreme prejudice as soon as I can get my monkey paws on him!"

Pulling the painful shard from his foot, he heard a voice taunting him from the tree above. "Oh, _Monnn_-ty. I'm up here. But I betcha can't catch me…"

Instantly climbing the tree, the now furious ape-man burst into Ron's tree house. But not surprisingly it was empty, and Ron was now back on the lawn, doubled over with laughter.

Now beside himself with anger, Monkey Fist growled, "Grrrrrr! I'll get you if it's the last thing I do!"

Jumping out of the tree and landing directly in front of the smiling youth, he started to make a grab for him when Ron suddenly pointed in the opposite direction. "Look behind you!"

Reacting instinctively, Monkey Fist spun around, crouching into a defensive stance. But there was nothing there, of course.

Blinded by his frustration, he beat his chest and let out a terrific monkey scream. "Stand still, you irascible troublemaker!"

Ron now reappeared by the back fence, a ten-foot high brick wall directly behind him. But he quickly realized that he had apparently backed himself into a corner.

"Oops."

Up against the tall brick wall with nowhere left to run, Ron lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay, ya got me, Monty. I give up."

But not wanting to let his cornered prey slip past him again, Monkey Fist let out a final maniacal monkey scream and charged right at his elusive prey. But just as he was about to crush Ron, the smiling teen simply took a step back, disappearing right through the solid wall as if he were a ghost. Monkey Fist hit the bricks at full tilt, knocking himself senseless. Groaning painfully, he slithered to the ground, bruised and beaten.

But just before slipping into unconsciousness, he detected a bright yellow flash from an upstairs bedroom window, followed by an even brighter blue glow. Now blissfully insensate, he missed Ron's victorious cry of "Booyah!"

At that moment, Kim burst through the front door. "Ron! Are you all right?"

The teen appeared at the top of the stairs, flashing her a look of relief. "Fine, KP. Everything's under control."

Kim was likewise relieved. "I started to get worried after reviewing an Uncovery documentary about Lord Fiske on my Kimmunicator. Larry seemed to know all about him and his obsession with Tai Shing Pek Kwar: Monkey Kung Fu. When I realized that Fiske and that ninja were one in the same, I tried calling Wade, and he told me you had just given him a frantic call. So I called the police and made it over here as fast as I could."

A look of regret passed over her face. "Sorry, Ron. I should have listened to you when you said Fiske was a thousand miles of ferociously bad road."

As a police siren was heard in the distance, a sly grin replaced her look of remorse. "But something tells me that Officer Hobbes and his men will only be doing a little mopping up here instead of responding with a fully armed SWAT team."

Ron grinned back. "Booyah! But I've gotta give credit where it's due: Wade's Holo-Ron managed to trick Fiske into knocking himself out cold. But I _did_ manage to knock out Bates here."

Kim looked impressed. "Really?"

He gave a self-conscious shrug. "Well, actually, I accidentally knocked him down the stairs trying to get away from Fiske."

Kim folded her arms as a curious thought entered her mind. "That's great, Ron. But do you know why Fiske even attacked you in the first place? England is a long way from here."

Thinking quickly, he tried to come up with a plausible reason. "Well, it seems that the jade monkey idol we found was a fake. And Monty here, who now calls himself Monkey Fist, thought that _I_ had found the real one and taken it, so he came after me. And it was a good thing Wade's Holo-Ron worked out so well, or else Monkey Fist would have probably gone after _you_ next."

Kim shivered at the thought. "Brrrr. Good that things turned out the way they did then."

Just then, Officer Hobble and his men stormed the home, but stopped short upon seeing Kim and Ron in no apparent danger. "Faith and begorrah, but what's happenin' here? We were expectin' a home invasion, but everything seems to be under control."

"Yes, sir. Lord Fiske and his butler, Bates, broke in and tried to assault my friend, but Ron managed to get the upper hand. Take them away, Officer."

As they dragged the two villains off, Monkey Fist began to regain consciousness. With his full physical and mental abilities restored, Ron swiftly entered Monkey Fist's mind and took control of his voluntary muscles. Ron grinned as the wannabe monkey master proceeded to slap himself in the face with his own simian paws while Ron mentally taunted him.

"_Stop hitting yourself… Stop hitting yourself_…"

* * *

_**VIII.**_

Later that evening, Ron was up in his room with Rufus. Now away from any prying eyes, they were both glowing in a soft shade of blue and enjoying their newfound mystical energy.

"Well, my little friend, now we're both the sole owners of Mystical Monkey Power. Feel any smarter?"

Ron sent out a tendril of thought toward the mole rat, but sadly detected no great increase in his intelligence.

"Oh, well. But not to worry, I've got another plan to give you some smarts. And since that device is just about to be perfected, we'll just give it another week or so, okay?"

Rufus looked up at him with a hopeful look.

"In the meantime, have some cheese." He tossed his pet a tiny piece of cheddar which was gratefully accepted.

"So, next on my 'to do' list is to capture the device which wreaked such wrongsick havoc in the first place, and keep it out of the hands of any bad guys."

He glanced down at the jade monkeys with a thoughtful look.

"But I sure would like to know what's up with these statues. I should be _gaining_ power, not losing it."

The mute idols only glowed softly in response.

* * *

_Next week, Ron gets his rabbi to sign on the dotted line, as he continues his quest to keep deadly weapons out of villainous hands. And in the meantime, learns a few things about what it means to be a real man._

**_TBC..._**


	4. The Measure of a Man

_Welcome to the newest chapter in my AU tale of second chances. I trust you're all enjoying the altRon's adventures as he continues to monkey around with his new timeline. I'm working hard to update this every Friday, and as I'm a few chapters ahead, you can continue to expect weekly postings for at least the next few weeks. And for those of you wondering how the real Kim and Ron are doing, don't fret: I'll be updating the real world from time to time, beginning with the chapter after next. _

_Thanks once again to this week's reviewers: Joyce LaKee, Eddy13, EchidnaPower, Bookworm Gal, CajunBear73, Konan15, whitem and Tito-Mosquito. And leave a review, get a reply. But for now, just sit back and enjoy… _

* * *

_**The Measure of a Man**_

* * *

_**I.**_

The sun was just rising over a mountain peak in a remote corner of the Rockies, its warm morning rays illuminating a secret research facility hidden within the mountain's dark crags. Climbing the steep precipice, Dr. Drakken and his henchmen panted heavily as they scrabbled up the ridge.

"Almost there, men. Just a few more feet now…"

Finally gaining the narrow plateau, his badly out-of-shape lackeys all collapsed in a heap, exhausted by their strenuous effort.

Drakken wheezed, "Good work, men. We've finally made it. Now all I need to do is…"

But at that very moment, the door to the facility opened, an evil cackle disturbing the early morning calm.

"You're too late, Dr. Drakken. Victory is now mine!"

The blue-skinned villain stared in surprise at the stocky, black-helmeted man who now stood before him. "Professor Dementor? What are _you_ doing here?"

"Hmm, perhaps stealing zee very item that _you're_ after, ja?"

Drakken growled, "Do you mean the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer, with  
which I intend to wreak worldwide havoc?"

"Oh, do you mean _t__his _Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer?"

Dementor raised the shiny metal cylinder high above his head in triumph.

Drakken screamed furiously, "No, you can't steal that! _I'm_ here to steal that!"

"Too bad, so sad. Better luck next time, Dr. Doofus."

Clicking his fingers, he gave a command to his squad of extremely fit, muscular henchmen, "Come, my steadfast _kameraden_. Let us take to the sky!"

And with a whoosh of their rocket packs, they all flew off into the distance.

"Drat. That Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer would have been just the ticket to my next bonus check from Señor Senior Senior."

The mad scientist's eyes narrowed as he spat out, "I promise you, this is not over, Dementor…"

* * *

_**II.**_

The first bell had just rung at Middleton High, signifying the start of another school day. But instead of their regular teacher, the class looked up to see their gruff, sandy-haired vice-principal, Stephen Barkin.

"All right, people, listen up! It's my sad duty to inform you that Mrs. Perkins made a mistake many of our newer teachers unfortunately make. She ate the cafeteria mystery meat yesterday."

The entire class gasped in horror.

"So until she's released from the hospital, _I'll_ be teaching this class."

He rubbed his hands together in evil glee. "So let's begin with my daily favorite, a pop math quiz…"

Kim Possible immediately spoke up. "Uh, Mr. Barkin? This class is actually social studies. And today's assignment was to present an illustrated outline of our personal history."

"Personal history?"

"Sure. Everyone did a project exploring the events in our lives that have made us who and what we are."

Bonnie muttered, "Yeah, those of us who are actually interesting…"

As the class tittered at Bonnie's putdown, Ron exclaimed, "And Mrs. Perkins gave us only one rule: have fun!"

"Fun?" Barkin sneered. "Sounds pretty lame to me. No wonder the mystery meat got her. All right, Rockwaller. Since you think you're so interesting, you can go first."

The pert cheerleader proudly hauled her project up to the front of the class and placed it on the easel. Accompanied by a CD of Tchaikovsky's _Swan Lake_, she pointed to her colorful collage of photographs, each displaying a different ballet production that she had danced in.

She airily began, "Twelve years of intensive ballet training have made me what I am today..."

Ron grinned as he whispered, "Yeah, smug and oh-so-full of yourself."

Much to Bonnie's chagrin, the class giggled even louder, but she continued to press ahead with her presentation. Ten minutes later, Mr. Barkin could tell from the groans that the class had had just about all they could take of Bonnie's self-aggrandizement.

Barkin smoothly growled, "Thanks, Rockwaller, but I think that's quite sufficient. More than sufficient, actually. So now let's hear from one of our other students, shall we? Stoppable? You're on."

Ron knew that the class would be both amazed and terrified should he reveal his true life story up until now, especially his incredible experiences over the past two years. But he had already decided to play out his life pretty much as before, including continuing to play the fool, at least for the moment.

Ron dragged his cardboard chart to the front, accidentally knocking over Brick Flag's sport-themed project. "Oops, sorry…"

Ignoring Brick's glare, he placed his chart on the easel, but upside down by accident. Red-faced, he ignored the laughter from the class and righted his project.

"Ahem. Some people doubt that Ron Stoppable is 'The Man,' but I'm here to prove it with this potpourri of my life."

Barkin sneered, "Potpourri? That's French for 'rotten pot.' I'll have to take points off for that."

"How about mélange?"

"Still French."

"Uh, pastiche?"

This only earned him another scathing glare of disapproval, and to his horror, Ron realized that he was quickly running out of synonyms.

"Hodgepodge?"

Barkin nodded. "English/Canadian. Close enough. Continue."

Relieved, Ron cheerfully launched into his presentation. "And now for your edification and entertainment, I present to you my entire life, from birth to Bar Mitzvah and beyond."

Barkin rolled his eyes heavenward. "I'm not so sure about this, Stoppable…"

"No problemo, Mr. B, a lot of people are unfamiliar with this rite of passage. When a Jewish boy turns thirteen, he goes to temple for a short ceremony, reads from the Torah, and voila, he's instantly a man. Rabbi Katzenjammer even signed this souvenir certificate which makes it totally official."

Barkin looked closely at the document. "Oh, really? And what signature is that?"

Ron looked closely at the empty line on the paper and whined, "Oh, man, that tanks! I thought for _sure_ that my rabbi had signed it."

Barkin warned, "Well, that's _your _story, Stoppable. And since I have a fearsome reputation to maintain for being a stickler for detail, you get an Incomplete until you can prove that this document is actually legitimate."

"But Mr. Barkin…"

"_FEARSOME_, Stopabble! Class dismissed!"

Instantly downcast, Ron whined, "Oh, man…"

As the class filed out, Bonnie taunted Ron with a smug look. "Loser…"

Kim, however, was much more understanding. "Don't worry, Ron. You went through the ceremony, right? So no big."

He griped back, "Yeah, but without my rabbi's little squiggle, Barkin's gonna flunk me. And he didn't even assign me this project in the first place!"

* * *

_**III.**_

Back home later that afternoon, Ron complained to his parents, "I can't believe this! I've been living a lie for the past two years!"

His mom cooed, "You have _not_ been living a lie, Ronnie."

"Really? 'Cuz that's what it looks like to me."

His dad suggested, "Well, son, if it will make you feel any better, stop by temple this week and  
get Rabbi Katzenjammer to sign it."

But his mom reminded him, "Dear, don't you remember that he's at that rabbinical conference in Las Vegas? So it'll have to wait until next week."

"Oh, that's right," his father nodded.

"But that means waiting a whole 'nother week before I can be a man!"

His father gave a slight shake of his head. "Ronald, a little piece of paper isn't what makes you a man."

He whined back,"Yeah, but it's the only proof I've got."

"Actually, what's really important is what _kind _of man you really _are_."

His father's voice continued to echo inside his head. "…_kind o_f _man you_ _really are… really are…"_

Suddenly, all of Ron's memories since that fateful high school graduation day came flooding back into his mind, as well as all his plans and actions up to this point since slipping back in time. Memories of Kim and of her death, of his failure to regain his body from Zorpox, and of the Earth's destruction shortly thereafter. He started to feel faint as the weight of his new responsibility began to bear down on him.

"_So what kind of man have I become? And how far am I willing to go in order to save all those I love, especially Kim? And here I am worried about a stupid Bar Mitzvah certificate_…"

He instantly flashed back to the memory of his Bar Mitzvah ceremony, when he had first read from the Torah before the assembled. He smiled as he recalled the difficulty of learning the proper ritual chants, and the look of absolute horror on his father's face when he had tried to substitute a rap interpretation during one of his practice sessions.

When the big day finally arrived, the weekly reading had been from the book of Exodus, specifically, the Ten Commandments. He began to reflect on each one that he had chanted.

Ron intoned, "Thou shalt not murder…"

"_Well, I didn't really murder Warhok. He was trying to kill Kim and take over the world, and I had to stop him any way possible. I was only protecting Kim and our planet, so it was clearly self-defense… But would I kill again, if I had to?"_

"Thou shalt not steal…"

"_Well, it's not really theft when all of those jade monkeys were stolen in the first place, right? It's more like, uh, secret borrowing. And anyway, I've got to do everything possible to keep any high-tech weapons or mystical talismans out of the hands of the bad guys, even if that means pilfering them myself first. The continued existence of the entire bon-diggity planet depends on that_…"

"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor…"

"_Hmm. But does that mean not to tell an outright lie, or is just stretching the truth okay? Besides, I'm not actually bearing false witness against anyone, I'm just keeping certain secrets from others, especially Kim. Besides, she would totally freak if she knew the truth_."

"Thou shalt not commit adultery…"

"_No problemo there. Kim's the only one for me, I just have to make sure we both fall in love which each other again and get married, just like before_."

He sighed deeply at the wistful memories of their many romantic dates, then of their engagement. And of their eagerly anticipated wedding ceremony, the reception of which had been rudely interrupted by Warmonga, followed by his abduction to Lorwardia, along with Dr. Drakken.

"_And because of that, we never got the chance to share our first wedding night together as husband and wife. And its consommé. Er, consumption? Oh, __**consummation**__, that's it…" _

The memory of Yori and their rather torrid relationship at Yamanouchi then popped into his brain.

"_Yeah, but that sitch was way before Kim and I even started dating, so that doesn't really count_."

A terrible realization suddenly struck him.

"_Ooh, but everything that happened with Yori back then may happen again in my future. And although technically I haven't married Kim yet, I still remember my wedding vows." _

A goofy smile slowly appeared on his face at the wonderful memory, when he promised Kim that he would honor her and protect her, forsaking all others for the rest of their lives.

"_So if I remember that, does the existence of the original time stream mean any hanky-panky with Yori in the meantime would be considered adultery, or does this new time stream sorta leave me off the hook? _

He began to blush, guilt now clouding his thoughts. "_Well, at least on the cheating issue that is, not the fooling around before marriage issue…_"

He began massaging his temples as he felt the beginnings of a headache coming on.

"_No, I can't let that happen again. It wouldn't be fair to anybody, especially to Kim and Yori. But it's not going to be easy for any of us_…"

His frustration deepened as his emotions kicked into high gear. _"And even though I'm not dating Kim at the moment, in view of everything I remember, I feel now almost as if Kim and I have broken up, and I'm trying to win her back…"_

He heaved a deep sigh.

"_Man, I hate these time paradoxes. Just like in Space Passage, but this time it's for real. Ooh, my head is really starting to hurt now_…"

Just as before, he finally reached the same conclusion. "_Okay, so I'll stick to my original plan and try to let everything play out as close as possible to what happened before, but without making the same mistakes as I did in the past. But right now, there's a deadly device in the hands of one totally wrongsick dude that needs the Ronman's special touch…"_

"Ron? Are you okay, son?"

His father's voice ended the boy's musings. He looked up at his parents, who were both staring at him with concerned looks on their faces.

"Sorry, Dad. I'm fine. I just zoned out for a moment there."

He carefully answered, "It was actually several minutes, Ron."

Ron pushed himself away from the table. "Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind, that's all. So thanks for the advice, Dad. But right now I need to book a flight to Vegas, pronto."

After Ron went upstairs, his parents looked at each other with worried looks on their faces.

His mother began, "Dear, Ron seems really preoccupied lately. He doesn't seem as easy going as he used to be. And it's making me very uneasy."

His father sighed, "Well, honey, hopefully it's just a stage. Adolescence is a tough time for kids, especially these days. Maybe I could make an appointment for him with Dr. Greenberg. Sometimes talking to an adult other than your parents can help you sort things out."

"Let's just hope so. And I know you'll do what you can for him, dear." But she looked sadly unconvinced as she slowly got up from the table to do the dishes.

* * *

_**IV.**_

Meanwhile, Drakken was busy berating his henchmen.

"Incompetent! Completely and totally incompetent! That's the only word for it. Let's review the tapes, shall we?"

A video appeared on the screen before them, showing one henchman failing to push the other over a rather low wall, followed by another unable to get off the ground even with a powerful rocket-pack. The reason for these failures became sadly apparent in the next shot, which showed all of his henchmen chowing down huge quantities of food in the lair's break room, the table containing the food groaning beneath the excessive weight before finally collapsing to the floor.

Drakken put his head in his hands and moaned, "Sorry, I stand corrected. Not only is it incompetent, it's also totally embarrassing."

He stood up to address all present, carefully enunciating each angry word. "So effective immediately, there will some changes. First, the lunchroom commissary is to be closed. Permanently! And everyone, and I mean _everyone_, goes on a diet _and_ an exercise program."

He added with a sneer, "And absolutely no more between-meal snacks!"

With a sour look, all those present turned to stare at the heftiest henchman among them. Their leader moaned, "Way to go, Bob."

Drakken grinned as he continued, "Next, and this is actually _good_ news, I've decided to procure for each of you a new device which will put you all on a par with Dementor's henchmen, increasing both your body size and strength. It is a molecular muscle enhancer ring, which is now available through HenchCo."

Everyone brightened up a bit at this news. "And even though every other villain on earth uses Hench, I have to swallow my own pride and bite the bullet, because I want that Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer in the worst way. But since his prices are totally outrageous, and I'm, heh-heh, simply too _cheap_, I plan on buying only one, and pilfering the rest that we need. We begin Operation Pan Dimensional Pluck first thing in the morning. Dismissed…"

* * *

_**V.**_

Back at Middleton High, Mr. Barkin was coming as close as he could to apologizing to Ron.

"Stoppable, I think I may have helped bring on your gloomy mood at the moment. But only in a small way."

He narrowed his eyes as he pinched two of his fingers together. "Very, very small."

Ron shrugged, "Thanks Mr. B, but now I'm onto something even _more_ depressing. My dad thinks the deal isn't _if_ I'm a man, it's what _kind_ of man I am. And I gotta say, I'm just not sure anymore."

Barkin chuckled, "Well that's an easy one. You're a scrawny runt, afraid of your own shadow."

Ron angrily shot back, "Excuse me?"

Barkin proudly stuck a thumb into his chest. "The ideal man is big and strong, like me for example. You simply… _aren't_."

Ron tried to fight off his sudden lack of self esteem. "Hey, I get by."

Barkin wagged his head. "You get rescued by a teenaged girl."

"Well, maybe on occasion," Ron winced.

"No, Stoppable, _all the time_."

Just then, Kim walked up. "Hey Ron. Hey, Mr. Barkin."

Mr. Barkin gave her a curt nod. "Possible."

As Barkin walked away, Ron queried, "Kim, how frequently would you say you rescue me?"

Kim looked a little uncomfortable. "Oh, I don't know. Sometimes, maybe?" She thought a bit more. "Actually, more like all the time, come to think of it."

Ron angrily thought to himself, "_Well, that's got to change. I've got to earn her respect, no matter what, and starting as soon as possible. No more playing the clown_ _anymore_."

Kim opened her locker, revealing a video monitor which immediately activated. "OK, Wade, what's the sitch?"

"You just got a hit on your website from a guy named Jack Hench."

Wade flashed Hench's picture on the screen. The man wore a smarmy smile, his hair perfectly coiffed and shot through with a single streak of gray. Attired in a perfectly tailored sport coat, a maroon shirt and pink tie, his demeanor was one of a high-powered businessman.

"And just who is this guy, exactly? He looks rather slick."

Ron agreed. "Yeah, as in _oil_ slick…"

Wade continued, "Good question, Kim. He runs a corporation called HenchCo, but other than that he's a total mystery. I've tried doing some extensive background checks, but I still haven't been able to find out exactly what he does. But whatever it is, it's got to be real lucrative. Wait till you see the private jet he's sending to pick you up in!"

Kim scoffed, "Pick us up? But we don't even know the guy!"

"Yeah, I know, but he's real insistent. Maybe you could play along until he reveals what his game is?"

Ron's eyes narrowed. "Call it a feeling, but I sense bad road here, Kim."

Remembering how well he had pegged Monkey Fist, she conceded, "Well, okay then. So about how many miles, would you say?"

"Not nearly as many as Monkey Fist, if that's what you mean. But we should be careful."

Kim nodded, "Always good advice. So let's accept his invitation and see what kind of intel we can discover about him and his company."

Just then, Hench's sleek VTOL aircraft landed in the school parking lot.

Kim's eyes went wide. "Yeah, that's one spankin' plane all right…"

A half-hour later, the plane landed outside the huge ultra-modern office building emblazoned with the HenchCo sign.

As Kim and Ron entered the reception area, Jack Hench's gatekeeper effusively gasped, "Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, in the flesh! Mr. Hench has been eagerly expecting you. Please, take a seat."

As Kim thanked him, she and Ron seated themselves on the overly-plush couch, sinking deeply into the expensive fabric. "Wow Kim, good thing I didn't bring Rufus along. You could lose small animals in this thing."

Kim whispered, "Yeah, but that's the least of our worries: my weidar is on high alert. I don't like this, Ron."

Ron had picked up a magazine. "Same here, KP. And these questions they're asking in this manliness quiz: sick and wrong to the max!"

"Focus, Ron. I actually mean the whole HenchCo vibe I'm getting. Let's see if I can't do a little snooping."

Kim smiled disarmingly at the receptionist/usher. "Excuse me, but could you please get me a cup of Kopi Luwak Gayo?"

Eager to please, he quickly replied, "You bet. Coming right up…"

As he got up to fetch Kim her request, Ron queried, "Uh, what's that Kim?"

"Try the world's most expensive coffee. And if they have it here, we're talking some ferociously rich clients. Let's see who we can find…"

Kim quickly flipped through the files on the usher's desk. "Professor Dementor? Duff Killigan? Dr. Drakken? This guy is dealing with every villain we know of who's bent on taking over the world! No _wonder_ he's rolling in dough."

"Uh, what type of dough? Bread or pizza? This is making me hungry, KP…"

Kim impatiently grabbed her sidekick's arm. "Come on, Ron…"

But as soon as they walked through the door leading deeper into the complex, they were set upon by a dozen burly guards.

One of them angrily shouted, "Hey, what are you two doing in here?"

Kim immediately dropped into a defensive stance. As each guard attacked, she easily flung each guard over her shoulder. For his part, Ron surreptitiously tried using his Mystical Monkey Power, which fortunately was working at the moment. Taking care not to let Kim see, he easily dispatched the other guards. In a few seconds, it was all over.

Kim turned around and gawked, "Whoa, Ron! Did you just take out all those other guards while I was busy with the rest?"

Ron gave her an idle wave of his hand. "Nah, you managed to throw each guard right into the next one. Real smooth moves, KP!"

Just then, a smartly dressed man walked up, clapping slowly. "Very impressive. Twelve guards in ten seconds. That's a record."

Kim growled, "You must be Jack Hench."

The man flashed his trademark smarmy grin. "Guilty as charged, Miss Possible."

"So, what then, was this a _trap_ or something?"

"No, not at all. More of a test, actually. And the hero and her sidekick have passed with flying colors. Please, come with me."

As they walked down the hall, Jack Hench easily continued, "Well, Miss Possible. Or may I call you Kim?"

She icily replied, "Miss Possible is fine, please and thank you."

In contrast, Ron pumped the man's hand, eagerly adding, "And you can call me Ron! Pleased to meet you."

Without skipping a beat, Hench replied, "Of course, of course. Well, Miss Possible, according to your website, you like to help people. And quite frankly, I could definitely use your help."

They entered a room marked Research and Development. "Here, take a look at this."

He handed her a non-descript looking gold ring. Ron mildly scoffed, "Yeah, a ring. So?"

Kim however had taken out her Kimmunicator and was scanning it.

"This is no ordinary ring, Ron. It looks like it operates on the molecular level. Am I right?"

Hench nodded. "Precisely, Miss Possible. This is a molecular muscle enhancer."

Ron gushed, "That's really coolio! Let me guess, instant muscles?"

"Very good, Ron! And very bad as well. That moron Drakken bought one from me, and then palmed the other six."

Kim crossed her arms. "And just why should we care about this?"

"Well, you fight a lot of villains. And villains have henchmen, correct?"

"Right. And your point?"

Ron interjected, "Uh, Kim? Check out the corporate name?"

Hench smiled even wider. "Excellent, Ron! Our mission statement here is, "Building a better henchman for the community at large."

Kim sneered, "Yeah, the _evil _community, that is."

Ron shrugged, "Okay, so his business is a little shady, but really, KP. This high-tech ringy-thingy in the clutches of Drakken?"

Kim reluctantly agreed, "Okay, you've made your point."

Turning back to the expectant businessman, she announced, "All right, Mr. Hench. We'll take the case."

Jack Hench vigorously rubbed his hands together. "That's excellent! Oh, and just between you and me, Kim?"

She glared back at him.

"Sorry. _Miss Possible_. But your compadre here is pretty sharp. You should hold on to him as long as you can."

Kim smiled and agreed, "Yeah, I'll try. But I _also_ try hard not letting it go to his head."

Hench agreed, "Yes, of course. But this gives me an idea for a corporate spin-off to serve the needs of people like you: 'Sidekicks R Us!' I can see it now…"

"Yeah, riiiiight."

As Ron grabbed the remaining ring, he glibly added, "Oh, and I'll just borrow this for the moment, por favor. We'll need it during our ongoing investigation."

_And just in case my Mystical Monkey Power goes on the fritz again_…

"Oh, and you really should pursue that badical 'Sidekicks R Us' idea. Booyah!"

Ron smiled as he began to wonder if he'd actually swung yet another borderline baddie over to right side of the law. But being quickly grabbed by her partner, Kim hustled him away.

"We'll be in touch, Mr. Hench…"

As they left, Jack Hench stepped into an adjoining room, the door marked with the word 'Surveillance.'

"Hi, Ed."

"Hello, Mr. Hench. How may I help you today?"

"Ed, would you roll our hallway security tape back about ten minutes and replay it for me please?"

As the tape began to play, Jack Hench's eyes widened as he watched a blue glow periodically emanate from Ron's hands, instantly disabling each of his guards.

"Quite interesting. Have those rays analyzed, would you, Ed? I think Kim's sidekick is a lot more than meets the eye." _And if I can discover his secret, that could profit me more than every device HenchCo has ever sold… _

* * *

_**VI. **_

Finally back at his lair, Drakken observed the physical changes in his henchmen with great satisfaction.

"Now _this_ is more like it. And in the words of my teen foe, Kim Possible, molecular muscle enhancement _rocks!_ Now that you are all manly men, your task shall be to keep Dementor's henchmen occupied while I grab the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer from him, which really should have been mine in the first place!"

He turned to one of his henchmen with an evil smile. "Well, Bob, have you been able to locate the dear professor's latest lair?"

"Yeah, boss, but it don't look like nobody's there."

Drakken sighed, thinking to himself, "_I've really got to get myself some better help. Maybe a true sidekick would be a good idea. I'll have to start looking for one soon_…"

Out loud he ranted, "That Bavarian buffoon, always spoiling my fun by disappearing without a trace. But not all is lost: I've now got him on _speed dial!"_

He pushed a button on his cell phone and immediately heard his rival answer, "Hello?"

Drakken growled, "All right, you Teutonic cream puff…"

But the answering machine continued, "Sorry, but I can't take your call at the moment, since I've taken all my henchmen and my newly-acquired _Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer off to A JUNKET IN LAS VEGAS!_ _HAH-HAH-HAH!_ Leave a message at the beep."

Drakken fumed, "Argh! He is so infuriating, but I _will _have my revenge! So, my faithful minions, a simple change in target location seems to be in order. We're off to Sin City! How apropos…"

He immediately gave his final orders. "All right! Henchmen One, Two and Three, with me. Four, Five, Six and Seven can take the other aircar."

But after boarding the second aircar, each of his now overly-enhanced henchmen jockeyed to occupy seats designed for a merely normal human physique. Crammed together uncomfortably, the now overloaded aircar strained to lift off, but only gained a few feet before its servos burned out, the aircar crashing to the ground.

"Way to go, Bob…"

As the henchmen continued to gripe, Drakken simply placed his head on one hand and groaned, "Mother always warned me there would be days like this…"

* * *

_**VII.**_

Now back at school, Ron strode down the hallway, Barkin's words echoing in his mind. "_Well, that's an easy one. You're a scrawny runt, afraid of your own shadow_."

"Not for long, Mr. B..."

As he twisted the ring on his finger, his muscles immediately began to bulge, increasing in size until Ron looked like a contestant in a bodybuilding competition. Proudly marching down the hall, he drunk in all the gasps and gawks he was getting from the high school's rank and file.

"Awesome!" said one teen.

Another girl swooned, "Wow, would you get a load of those biceps?"

Ron on the other hand was having trouble with the combination lock on his locker. "Oh, man. I can't even see past my pecs to twirl the combo."

In frustration, he simply tore the door off the locker and shrugged. "Oh, well."

But as Ron grabbed his books for his next class, he heard the unmistakable sound of laughter from behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he noted in dismay that the seat of his pants hadn't quite survived his huge muscular transition, and that his Wonder Weasel boxer shorts were now on public display through the large rips.

"Oh, man! This _really_ tanks…" Blushing, he quickly turned around just as Kim arrived. She did not look happy.

"Couldn't resist, could you, Ron? Would you take that ring off, please and thank you?"

Ron preened for a moment. "Hey, chill out, KP! I finally feel like a manly man!"

Kim chided, "Ron, muscles do _not _make a man. No more than your haircut did, remember?"

Ron smirked, "Actually, the haircut _was _kinda cool…"

Just then, Brick Flag, star quarterback for the Middleton Mad Dogs, walked up with his current flame, Bonnie Rockwaller.

"Stoppable?"

Ron smiled, giving him a fist bump. "Yo, it's the Brickman."

Not the brightest bulb in Middleton High, Brick scratched his head. "You seem, uh... different."

"Hey, it's just me, ya know. Macho Ron, just hangin'."

Bonnie however had already noted his amazing physical transformation. "Stoppable, what on earth happened to you?" She giggled, "Fall into a vat of liquid steroids?"

Coming to Ron's rescue, the Kimmunicator beeped its unmistakable signal.

Kim picked it up with a tone of chagrin in her voice. "Hey there, Wade. Guess who's decided to try out the molecular muscle enhancer ring? First two guesses don't count."

Wade instantly appeared on the monitor in her locker and answered, "That's easy. Ron."

Ron tried to act surprised. "Dude! How did you know?"

"Well, the unusual energy reading your ring is emitting might have something to do with it."

Wade disappeared from the monitor, to be replaced with an overlay of Middleton High, a green dot appearing in one of its hallways.

"Ron, you are here."

As the dot began to beep, Bonnie exclaimed, "Hey, Stoppable, you're the dot!"

Ron flexed his biceps. "Yeah, The _macho_ dot."

With a longsuffering expression on her face, Kim rolled her eyes toward the ceiling.

Always willing to jump at any opportunity to get Kim's goat, Bonnie flashed Ron a sultry smile as she felt both of Ron's bulging arms. "Ooh, yeah. _Rock solid_ dot."

Knowing Kim was right there but ignoring the fact that Brick was too, she continued to purr, "Me _likey. _And with a physique like that, you'd make one awesome linebacker on our football team."

"_And probably awesome in some other ways too, I imagine_…"

Bonnie looked over at her current beau, scrunching her face in mild dissatisfaction, then turning back to look at Ron in all his muscular glory. As Bonnie licked her lips, she failed to realize that her thoughts were as clear to Ron as if she had spoken them aloud.

Ron began to blush deeply at the fantasy now flitting through Bonnie's mind. He smiled weakly and pulled at his collar, which had suddenly become even tighter than before.

"Uh, yeah, thanks for the props, Bonnie."

Growing increasingly impatient, Kim tried to ignore her adversary, but settled for shooting her a dirty look as she stepped in between her and Ron. "Back to business, _Pain King_. So, Wade, if you scan for a whole bunch of those dots…"

"I'll discover exactly where Drakken and his henchmen are." Wade grinned as he pushed another button and announced, "Done and done. They're all in Vegas, Kim."

"They're where?"

"At the Las Vegas, Las Vegas resort."

"The _macho_ resort," Ron preened, but for Kim, not for Bonnie.

Kim tried hard not to roll her eyes again. "All right, Macho Boy. We've got some power rings to recover, so if you can tear yourself away from little Miss Bon Bon here…"

As Kim and Ron walked away, Bonnie blew him a kiss. "Later, _Macho Boy_…"

Suddenly noticing his torn pants, she curiously failed to make a rude comment about them, her mind pleasantly elsewhere. "_Boxers. Mmmm_…"

Like Kim, Brick likewise wasn't too pleased with Bonnie's ogling of Ron's new physique. "Hey, what gives, Bonnie?"

The teal-eyed cheerleader airily shrugged, "Don't freak, Brick. Just maintaining my place at the top of the food chain, and squashing the competition."

"Huh?" was Brick's confused reply.

Bonnie wagged her head. "Never mind, I'll explain later." _But Ron did look awfully good with his new physique, I have to admit. Really, really good…_

But for his part, the now super buff redhead began to feel just a little conflicted. "_Too bad Kim's tongue wasn't lolling out for me like Bonnie's was. But Kim will be having the same hots for me eventually. I just have to stay the course_…"

An idea began to form in his mind on just how he could accelerate that. "_Yeah, that might just work, but it'll have to wait until we get back from Vegas_…"

* * *

_**VIII.**_

Drakken inhaled a breath of the warm, dry Nevada air and declared, "Ah, Las Vegas. If I can steal it here, I can steal it anywhere!"

One of his henchmen pointed out, "Uh, boss? Isn't that New York?"

He snidely replied, "Thanks for raining on my parade, Bob. Fine, the place where _vengeance will be mine! _Happy now?"

Bob gave him an offhanded shrug. "Sure thing, boss."

Drakken couldn't decide whether to fire him on the spot or simply shoot him, finally deciding to simply let it pass.

"_All right, that does it. Once this caper is over, I'll find myself a REAL sidekick. One who's both competent and will respect my super genius abilities. And with the cash bonus I'll receive from Señor Senior Sr. after I perfect the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer, I'll have all the money I need in order to hire someone permanently..."_

He continued with a hopeful look at his scanner. "Hmm. The Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer's energy signature is getting quite strong. Which means Professor Dementor should be right about…"

He glanced through the gate into the pool area of the resort, spotting Dementor and his henchmen immediately. "Here!" Grinning evilly, he tried the gate but found it locked.

Shaking it violently, it failed to open. "Arghhh! Stupid gate…"

The pool boy noticed his attempts to gain access and yelled out a warning. "Hey, pal, the pool is for hotel guests_ only_. You'll have to check in first."

Now seething with anger, Drakken bellowed, "Fine! We'll check in, re-steal the stolen Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer, _and then vengeance will finally, ultimately and irreversibly be mine!_"

Drakken and his henchmen entered the front door of the Las Vegas, Las Vegas resort, and proceeded directly to the main desk. An oily hotel clerk gave them an ingratiating look.

"Heyyyy, What can I do you guys for?"

Drakken looked at the clerk's nametag. "Yes, uh, Johnny from Jacksonville. I need a room for myself and my men."

But the clerk only shrugged. "Sorry, baby, but we're booked to the gills with all these crazy conventions."

Growing increasingly frustrated, he queried, "Well, how about just a pool key?"

"Sorry, the pool's for registered cats only."

Drakken angrily grabbed the flunky by the collar. Staring him straight in the eye, he growled dangerously, "After I finally take over the world, would you like to be on the _winning _side, or the _losing_ side?"

Shaking off the villain's clutches, he snarled, "Hey, hands off, bub! Besides, it don't matter to me. Winner or loser, ya still need a hotel room to use the pool, pally."

Giving up, he left with his henchmen in tow. "You have not heard the last of me, you little weasel…"

A few minutes later, the clerk observed Kim and Ron walking in. "Welcome to Las Vegas, Las Vegas, tootsie babe."

Kim rolled her eyes at the chauvinistic comment. "Yeah, riiiight. Can you tell me if you've seen this guy?"

The clerk couldn't help but recognize Drakken's photo right away. "A-ring-a-ding-a-ding! Or should I say, _Ding-a-ling_?" Pointing at the exit, he finished, "That jerk and his friends just went that-a-way."

Quickly exiting and wandering around the resort's perimeter, Kim spotted the gate to the pool. "My guess is that he's already found a way inside, Ron. But how can _we_ get in?"

Ron unobtrusively attempted to use his Mystical Monkey Power to open the gate, but his powers were once again on the blink. But still buffed up by the muscle enhancement ring, he made a tentative suggestion.

"Kim, I _could _just bend the bars, ya know."

But Kim had had enough of Ron's physical posing for the moment. "Save it for the Mr. Universe competition, Ron. We really don't want to have to pay for any damages here."

"Fine, no problemo, KP." Sending Rufus a mental command, the naked mole rat appeared out of Ron's pocket. "_OK, Rufus, try to slip through and unlock the gate_."

Rufus looked up at him, not quite comprehending the request.

Ron added quickly. "_There's_ _some extra gouda in it for you if you do_…"

Instantly understanding, Rufus happily nodded, followed a moment later by a victorious chirrup as the gate magically opened.

Kim spotted their prey right away. "There's Drakken and his instant muscle men. They must have jumped the fence. And there's Professor Dementor along with _his_ henchmen."

Ron sniggered, "And talk about not blending in with the clientele, they're all fully clothed in their evil henchmen outfits. Boy, it must get hot in those things, since it's probably 100 degrees in the shade."

Likewise, Dementor was still wearing his trademark black helmet and dark red uniform, even while relaxing on his air mattress in the pool and slurping an ice cold drink. Looking up, he noticed Dr. Drakken glaring at him.

"Looking for this, Dr. Dum Dum?" Dementor once again held up the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer.

Drakken sneered, "Yes! Now just hand over that device, and no one gets hurt."

"Ja? And just who vill make me? Your henchmen are absolutely no match for my…"

A surprised look appeared on the Professor's face as he noticed the effects of their muscular enhancement rings. "Hmm, it looks like your men have been working out."

Drakken grinned back, "Yes, in a manner of speaking…"

At virtually the same moment, both villains yelled out, "Henchmen, _attack!_"

"Jinx! You owe me a soda, Professor."

"I _SO _do not."

"Do too."

"Do not…"

As the villains continued to snipe at each other, their respective henchmen engaged their opposite numbers in a no-holds-barred, knock-down drag-out battle, spilling out from the pool area and into the resort's lounge.

While the battle royal continued, Kim grabbed her Kimmunicator. "Wade, what's the 411 on Professor Dementor's recent activities?"

"Checking now, Kim… Okay, here's the skinny. Several days ago, he stole the Pan Dimensional Vortex  
Inducer from a secret research facility somewhere in the Rockies."

Kim sighed, "And _w__hy_ am I just finding out about this now?"

He gave a small shrug. "Well, the FBI, CIA and NSA are all on the case, and figured that they didn't need you."

She moaned, "I guess they thought wrong, didn't they, Wade? Let's move, Ron. First we've got to recover that device from Drakken and Dementor. Then we'll let the authorities worry about busting them and all of their henchmen."

Ron flashed the okay sign. "Way ahead of you, KP. I'll check the buffet, you check upstairs."

The look Kim shot him was not one of approval.

"Uh, okay, I'll let _Rufus_ check out the buffet while we _both_ check upstairs."

Kim smiled. "Good answer, Ron."

Exiting the elevator on the second floor, Kim gasped, "Ron, look! It's Professor Dementor!"

Ron quickly added, "And there's Drakken!"

Drakken had also spotted her teen adversary and snarled, "It's Kim Possible! Get her, men!"

But Kim's expertise in fifteen forms of Kung Fu kept her in good stead, as she easily tossed each henchman aside, using their own momentum and excessive body mass against them.

"See Ron? Brain over brawn, plus skill, equals victory. And you can take _that_ to the bank."

But Ron was no slouch himself. Using his innate knowledge of Tai Shing Pek Kwar granted mystically by the jade monkey statues, as well as his newly enhanced physical strength, he had no trouble subduing his attackers, even without the use of his Mystical Monkey Power.

"You'll get no argument from me, KP. But I gotta say, these new muscles sure do rock!"

As he tossed the last henchman through a door, he came face to face with what looked like a convocation of rabbis. And heading them up was none other than Rabbi Katzenjammer.

"Whoa, Rabbi! Funny running into you here."

He answered, "Why, if it isn't Ron Stoppable! Welcome to our regional rabbinical conference." Noting Ron's new physique, he queried, "Say, have you been working out, or just eating more? I don't remember you having that many muscles…"

"Yeah, real nice, huh? Oh, by the way, I just discovered that you neglected to sign my Bar  
Mitzvah certificate." Whipping out the document and a pen, he thrust it into the rabbi's hands.

"I know now that I really don't need a mere piece of paper to prove that I'm a man, but Mr. Barkin will flunk me without it."

As the rabbi signed it, he nodded. "Yes, Ron, I would have to agree. The ceremony itself is what really counts."

"Yeah, and _especially_ what kind of a man you really are. Say, when you get back to Middleton, could I have a talk with you? There are some, uh, moral questions that have been, well, kinda on my mind lately."

"Not a problem, Ron. I'd be happy to. Why don't you come by my office tomorrow, about 4 PM?"

A crash was heard from out in the hall.

"Thanks, Rabbi Katzenjammer. But right now, you and the other rabbis should stay put until the Ronman takes care of some business…"

Dr. Drakken continued to chase Professor Dementor down the hall. "Hand over the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer, Dementor!"

"Never! For I will get _quite_ the bonus check from Señor Senior Sr. once I solve its mysteries!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Have it your way, then. My henchmen aren't afraid to play dirty if they have to."

Dementor laughed back, "HAH-HAH! And which henchmen are those?"

Drakken looked around, realizing too late that Kim and Ron had already subdued them all.

"Ah, you are always so entertaining, Drakken." He turned to his own henchmen. "_Get him!_"

But Kim and Ron were now on the scene, Ron charging Dementor's cronies with a terrific "Booyah!"

Wasting no time in jumping on top of him, Ron was suddenly buried in a pile of henchmen.

With an air of trepidation, Kim asked, "Ron, are you okay in there?"

He managed a somewhat muffled response. "Yo, KP! I'll keep these goons occupied while you grab the Pan Dimensional Vortex thingy!"

While Ron began flinging each henchman into whatever wall was currently available, Kim did a cartwheel followed by a back flip, snatching the device from Dementor's grasp. "If you ask me, I think _finders keepers_ applies here."

But quickly grabbing it back from her, Drakken gloated, "_I'll_ just take that. And thank you, Kimberly Anne, I couldn't agree more. And now that I finally have what is rightfully mine…"

This earned him a glare from everyone present.

He smiled back weakly, "Well, maybe not _rightfully_, but I _was_ the first one planning to steal it…"

Everyone immediately froze as the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer began to emit a high-pitched signal, accompanied by a flashing light embedded in its casing.

"Uh, what's that beeping?"

Dementor yelled, "Oh no! The device has been activated!"

Paling, Drakken mumbled, "Ooh, is… is that a bad thing?"

Dementor lashed back, "You idiot! Do you have any idea what this device _does?_"

Drakken ventured, "No doubt something very dangerous, or else it wouldn't be kept at a top secret research facility. Why do you think we keep filching things from these very same locations?"

The professor scratched his chin in thought. "Hmm, good point."

Kim quickly inquired, "And just _how_ dangerous are we talking here?"

The mad scientist replied, "The vortex it creates will be a contained disruption in  
the very fabric of reality!"

Adding air quotes, Ron queried, "Uh, and when you say _fabric of reality_, are you talking about an _actual _fabric, like cotton, or are you just using a figure of speech?"

"Well, my so-called 'figure of speech' will be contorted _into a vortex of absolute chaos! DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION!?"_

In a panic, Drakken tossed the device into the nearest laundry chute and yelled, "Let's get out of here!"

Dementor however hardly moved, now wearing a rather hopeless expression. "Oh, did I mention perhaps that the resulting vortex will be approximately the size of the _entire state of Nevada?_"

Drakken pondered that thought a moment before concluding, "Aha! And since we're already _in_ Nevada… Oh, snap. We're doomed, aren't we? Irony can often be so ironic…"

Ron, however, stepped right up to the chute and declared, "Stand aside, Kim. This looks like manly work!"

Forcing himself into the tiny space, he futilely grasped at the deadly device. But with his huge frame, he only managed to get himself majorly stuck, his hand barely inches away from the glowing Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer.

Barkin's words then echoed through his mind. _"The ideal man is big and strong, like me for example. You simply… aren't."_

"Ooh. This is actually a _big_ problemo for the new me."

The voice of Rabbi Katzenjammer now began to echo. "That's because there was nothing wrong with the _old _you, Ron."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Wait, I don't remember him ever saying that…"

Kim's voice now began to echo. "He's absolutely right, Ron. Just like your haircut, it's just not the real you."

Ron began to panic, "Okay, _way_ too many voices in my head, _and now they're all starting to talk with each other!"_

Kim chided, _"Ron, that's just the reverb in the air conditioning shaft. Now stop messing around and take that ring off."_

He grunted back, "Not until I save the day, Kim!"

He tried reaching for the device, which now was precariously balancing on the edge of the deep shaft.

"_But that thing's about to fall any second, Ron! And when it does, it'll wipe out the whole state, and us right along with it!"_

The rabbi added, "_What she's saying is, you've got to take off the ring!"_

"Sorry, but I can't do it, Rabbi!" Ron whined.

Kim pleaded, "_Yes, you can, Ron. We believe in you…"_

Ron groaned back, "Thanks for the props, KP, but I really can't. I'm stuck and I can't reach the ring with my other hand. Uh, maybe a little help here, Rufus?"

The tiny naked mole rat was just barely able to squeeze by Ron through the tiny opening, looking up at Ron with a curious look on his face.

"Okay, buddy, just imagine that this ring on my finger is the screw top on a can of delicious nacho cheese snacks. Got it?"

His little friend bounced his head in understanding, quickly twisting the ring and turning off the muscle enhancement field.

Quickly shrinking back to his normal size, Ron sighed in relief, "Thanks, little buddy."

Immediately grabbing the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer, he was finally able to exit the shaft.

"Man, this beeping is mucho irritatto. Now how do I shut this thing off?"

Slamming it against the wall, it suddenly deactivated.

"Booyah!"

Kim beamed, "Nice job, Ron. I _knew_ you could do it."

"Thanks, KP."

Next Kim turned to the two villains, who both looked ready to grab the device once again.

She warned, "Don't even think about it, you two. The FBI, CIA, NSA, and probably a few organizations you don't even know the acronyms for yet are on their way right now to arrest you and your henchmen, and lock you all up for a long, _long_ time."

As sirens began to wail in the distance, Drakken gnashed his teeth. "You think you're all that, Kim Possible, but you're not! And one day I'll prove it!"

But Dementor quickly hissed, "Less talk, more walk, Dr. Doofus. Let's get out of here, _mach_ _schnell!_"

Prepared for this, Kim twisted one of the recovered rings onto her finger, immediately blossoming with bulging muscles of her own. Quickly grabbing each of them, she lifted them high in the air. "Going somewhere, _gentlemen_? And I _do _use the term loosely…"

Ron laughed, "Whoa, Kim! Way to go with those muscles of totally awesome badness! Booyah!"

_And boy, just give her black hair and green skin and she'd be the spitting image of Warmonga… _

* * *

_**IX.**_

Back in Middleton the next day, Ron carefully placed the real Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer under his bed next to the jade monkeys, having switched it with a replica that he had turned in to the authorities.

With a satisfied look, he announced, "There. Now no one, alien _or_ human, is gonna get their paws on this thing. But I better find a better hiding place for all my secret stash. I've got a feeling my little cache of super weapons is gonna be growing a lot more over the coming months…"

Grinning to himself, he left to keep his appointment. A half hour later he stepped into Rabbi Katzenjammer's office.

"Got a few minutes, Rabbi? I'd like to talk with you about some, uh, _hypothetical_ moral dilemmas I'm facing at the moment. Especially concerning a little possible _secret borrowing_."

The rabbi raised an eyebrow, curious as to what Ron could possibly be referring to. "Of course, Ronald. Please have a seat."

Ron sat down and immediately began to fidget. "Okay, uh, suppose that, hypothetically, someone travelled back in time, say, to save the world from getting destroyed. Would it be wrong for that person to stretch the truth in order to keep his plans secret, bluffing his way from day to day, and pilfering the doomsday weapons responsible for the Earth's annihilation in order to keep them out the hands of alien supervillains? Heh, just for safekeeping, of course."

The rabbi gave him a puzzled look. "You mean lie, cheat and steal, with the lives of over six billion people hanging in the balance? That's one doozy of a moral dilemma, Ronald."

Ron sighed, "Yeah, I had a feeling this might take a while to explain…"

* * *

_Stay tuned for next week's episode as Rufus finally gets a brain boost, and the lovesick altRon ups his game… literally!_

_**TBC…**_


	5. Pink Genius

_Welcome back to the newest chapter in my convoluted tale of second chances. And with five chapters posted in five weeks, this may be a record for me. Let's just see how long I can keep this up... But first, mucho thanks to this week's reviewers: Eddy13, Konan15, Bookworm Gal, CajunBear73, EchidnaPower, Tito-Mosquito, saucy spicy naco, Joyce LaKee and Sentinel103. Now sit back and enjoy a certain naked mole rat's newfound intelligence. But will altRon have the wisdom to follow his advice? Read on if you dare..._

* * *

_**Pink Genius**_

* * *

**_I._**

"Well, Rufus. It looks like Team Possible now has its newest member."

Ron smiled at the naked mole rat in his pocket, who chittered back in glee at his newfound intelligence. But while he now had rudimentary speech ability, he found it easier to communicate telepathically thanks to his Mystical Monkey Power.

"_Yes, just like my counterpart in the alternate universe. But it's too bad that the alien watchers responsible for his upgrade couldn't have genetically altered ME in the first place as well. Who knows how that might have changed things?"_

"A really, _really_ good question, but for whatever the reason, that didn't happen here. I'm just happy that the Phoebus Project has given you some badical smarts. Though it's too bad I have to give you a new brain boost every three days or so."

"_But acceptable for the moment. And now I can describe to you in exact terms the particular cheeses I enjoy the most."_

He continued in warning, _"And also to counsel you regarding your planned course of action after talking with Rabbi Katzenjammer. Specifically, I'm worried about his advice concerning that whole philosophy of 'situational ethics.' It sounds too much like, 'The ends justify the means.' Not only that, but I don't think he was really taking you seriously. You bent over backwards to explain away your moral conflicts as hypothetical, but we both know they're absolutely real."_

Ron tried to wave off his friend's concerns. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But if I don't follow through with my plans, I might never win Kim again. And even more important, Kim and the rest of the world will end up being toast. I just can't accept that, especially if I have the ability to do something about it."

Rufus gave a tiny sigh. _"True, but even with my enhanced abilities, I cannot predict the ramifications of all of your new changes. 'I was just trying to do the right thing' has been a sad epitaph far too often in history."_

He smirked back, "Yeah, but don't forget that your new super smarts are a direct result of that."

Rufus gave a tiny shrug._ "True. But with all due respect, I'm forced to say that your newest idea only shows impatience, in my opinion."_

Ron sadly looked down at the floor. "And you're probably right, my friend. But have you ever been in love before, Rufus? Do you know the pain of finally gaining something so wonderful, then losing it completely?"

Rufus giggled, _"Sorry, but I'm not even a year old yet. Give me a few more years, okay?"_

Ron chuckled, "Yeah, I see your point." But his laughter quickly died away. "It's just that what we had was so wonderful, I want it back in the worst way."

"_And if you're not careful, that's exactly how you're going to get it."_

"Well, I'll just have to take it one day at a time, I guess…"

They entered the classroom just as the bell rang for final period, and Miss Whisk began handing back everyone's algebra test from the day before. She announced, "I have a bit of good news for you all. The results of yesterday's pop quiz were, well, not _quite_ as catastrophic compared to the opening of the semester."

Ron glanced over at Kim's test. "Wow, an A-plus, Kim? Booyah!"

"Yeah, I was busy studying on that boat ride down the Nile while you were busy playing Minefinder on the Kimmunicator."

Ron defended himself, explaining, "Hey, you never know when you might run into a derelict World War 2 mine, Kim."

Kim wagged her head. "How about _never_, Ron?"

"Hey, those Nazi U-boats were pretty sneaky. Better safe than sorry."

Miss Whisk handed Ron his test. "And as for you, Ronald…"

He closed his eyes and crossed his fingers. "Please... please..."

Ron was visibly relieved as he viewed his grade. "Whew! Another C-minus." He continued with a snicker, "But man, I'd hate to be you, Kim."

She gave him a surprised look. "Ron, why in the world would you rather have a C-minus than an A-plus?"

He smiled as he folded his hands behind his head. "I've found that my life is actually a lot simpler the lower I keep everyone's expectations. I don't have to deal with the same pressures that you do, KP. But still, I have to admit that a passing grade three times in a row is pretty coolio for me."

Privately he thought,_ "But I'd be doing a lot better if I could only remember my former timeline a little more exactly._ _Or else not remember so much from my _counterpart's_ timeline. Sometimes he got totally different questions on his quizzes… Well, at least this is better than the F's I was getting before."_

Kim looked as if she was about to say something, to which he responded, "A cosine for your thoughts, KP?"

Kim gave him a concerned look. "Well, yeah, a C-minus is way better than the F's you were getting last year, but that's still just squeaking by, Ron."

She continued to hem and haw. "I really think you could do better, if, you know, you worked a little harder to realize your, uh…"

"Realize my full potential? Yeah, I know. I've been thinking about buying both the movie and book rights to Ron Stoppable: Potential Boy."

He snickered to himself. "_Or maybe Potential Boy 2, Revenge of the Ronster. Coming soon to an alternate universe near you…" _

"Cheer up, Potential Boy. A C-minus for you is an A-plus for anyone else."

Ron frowned. "Gee, thanks, Kim."

Kim felt like kicking herself. "Sorry, Ron. I didn't mean that the way it came out."

Quickly changing the subject, she suggested, "So what say we celebrate with a Bueno Nacho run after school?"

Ron perked up a bit. "Sounds good, KP."

Just then, her Kimmunicator urgently began beeping.

"What up, Wade?"

"Kim, trouble in the Midwest. There's been a break-in at a top secret underground lab outside Des Moines, Iowa."

"We're on it Wade."

She huffed, "Sorry, Ron. It looks like I'll have to give you a rain check on BN. So, how does Iowa grab you?"

Ron responded rather mysteriously, "Actually, just fine, KP."

He instantly sent a silent thought to Rufus, who had just popped out of his pocket.

"_Okay, Rufus, showtime. You up for it, little buddy?"_

The naked mole rat sniggered back, _"After getting hit with that beam from the Phoebus Project you just 'secretly borrowed,' I feel ready to take on anything." _

"_Great! Now let's see what your new smarts can really do…"_

* * *

_**II.**_

Meanwhile, Dr. Drakken was roundly cursing out the disabled subterranean vehicle he had rented from Wacky Wally's Used Weather Machines and Earthmovers, its cabin now filled with dirt and debris after breaking through the wall of the underground lab.

"Drat. I suppose I should have gone for the basic model, but those heated seats along with the lumbar support certainly made my back feel _much_ more comfortable. Unfortunately, the deluxe model automatically came with a sun roof, which I now see makes absolutely no sense for an underground transport."

He slowly shook his head at the disabled vehicle. "Well, there goes my deposit… but it will have been worth it after I use the Phoebus Project to bathe my _own_ already brilliant brain with its experimental rays, making me even more brilliant! Or is it brillianter? More brillianter? Well, perhaps even stupendously so, and _certainly_ enough to design my own ultimate doomsday weapon!"

But Drakken's look of ecstasy immediately turned sour. "But that's only if I can _find_ the confounded thing."

He started rummaging around the lab, but without success. "Arrgghh! My source was positive that it was here! It's much bigger than the proverbial breadbox, so just where is it, exactly?"

Two empty spaces on the floor with hastily disconnected wires next to them caught his attention.

"Double drat! Someone apparently has removed it." His frown deepened. "Or else beat me to it. Again…"

He angrily gritted his teeth together. "Professor Dementor, no doubt."

He snapped his fingers as an idea popped into his brain. "But if I can locate the plans for the device, I could simply build one _myself_. But where could they be? Hmm, let's try this computer terminal…"

But no sooner had he made a few tentative keystrokes, when multiple explosions began going off, filling the lab with smoke and reducing most of it to useless rubble.

Coughing furiously, he sputtered, "Booby trap! Triple drat!"

* * *

_**III.**_

Just a few minutes earlier, Kim, Ron and Rufus had arrived at the top-secret facility.

"Miss Possible, I'm Lt. Jefferson. We're pleased that you were able to make it here so fast."

"Thanks. So what's the sitch, Lieutenant?"

"At 1400 hours, our intruder alert sounded, tripping an automatic lockdown of the entire complex. But after breaking in, the thief locked _us_ out of the central lab."

He flipped on a remote viewscreen, immediately bringing into focus an all too familiar blue-skinned villain.

Kim frowned. "Well, if it isn't our least favorite bad guy, Dr. Drakken."

Ron whispered, "Uh, Kim? If he's our least favorite, then who's our favorite?"

Kim tried to ignore Ron's query as Lt. Jefferson stated, "Yes, and he's apparently after Project Phoebus."

"And what exactly is Project Phoebus?" Kim queried.

"Sorry Miss Possible, but that's top secret, requiring at least a Level Four security classification."

Ron snickered, "And let me guess, you only have a Level Three, right?"

The lieutenant's face reddened. "Uh, yes. How did you know?"

Ron shrugged. "Call it a hunch."

Kim continued, "Well, hunch or not, we need to get inside that lab somehow, Ron. At least it looks like the vehicle he used to break through the wall is stuck, so he's not going anywhere for the moment."

The lieutenant pointed above the door. "The only other way into the lab is through that small air duct. Too small for a person to squeeze through, unfortunately."

Ron snickered, "But not too small for a naked mole rat. Rufus, buddy, you're on! Climb through and open the door from the other side."

Giving Ron a smart salute, he replied, "Yes, sir!" and quickly entered the air duct.

Kim raised a questioning eyebrow. "Uh, Ron? I don't remember Rufus ever actually talking before. What's the sitch?"

Ron grinned back, "Oh, I've just been giving the little scamp a few English lessons, that's all. Thanks to one of Barkin's pop quizzes, I recently discovered that the _h__eterocephalus glaber _has rudimentary speech capability, just like certain birds and primates."

She gave him a doubtful look. "Oh, _really_?"

"Yup. And I've also found that Rufus here is much smarter than the average naked mole rat."

Rufus replied with a toothy smile and a cheerful, "_Uh-huh! Uh-huh_!"

"Well, the timing couldn't be better. So I shouldn't look a gift horse in the…"

Ron interrupted, "Kim, please. _H__eterocephalus glaber_."

"Uh, riiiight. So I shouldn't look a gift _naked mole rat_ in the mouth, huh?"

Ron gave her a quick wink of approval just as Rufus climbed into the tiny vent. In another moment he had the door opened, and smoke began to roil out, followed by the furiously coughing villain.

"Kim Possible!?"

The perky blonde teen smiled back at him and tsked, "Why do you always act so surprised, Drakken? You _know_ I'm always at your beck and call to capture you and send you right back to Cell Block C."

Ron smirked, "Yeah, Dr. D, it's what we live for. You give meaning to our otherwise drab and boring lives."

He glared back, "Well, not _this_ time. The device I wanted to use isn't even here! Talk about adding insult to injury. So all you can arrest me for is breaking and entering. Nyahh!." Drakken stuck his tongue out to underline the point.

Rufus quickly whispered something into Ron's ear, to which he replied, "Thanks, Rufus." Turning to Dr. Drakken he continued, "You can add destruction of government property, remodeling a laboratory without the proper permits, _and_ operating a subterranean vehicle without a proper license or registration. You've now got federal, state, and local ordinances to answer to."

Drakken looked appalled. "But the DMV will lock me up and then throw away the key!"

Kim glibly added, "Yeah? Well that's the idea, anyway." She smiled at both Ron and Rufus. "Nice job, you two."

Ron chided, "Ya didn't think we had it in us, did you?"

Kim evenly replied, "No, I actually didn't. But I'm happy to stand corrected. And Rufus is definitely welcome on _any_ of our future missions."

While Ron and Rufus gave each other a congratulatory high five, the lieutenant scratched his head.

"But it's impossible that someone could have broken in here already without us knowing, and then rigged the place to explode once this Drakken character entered the lab. Our sensors should have picked up _any_ unauthorized entry, just like it did with him."

Rufus snickered, giving Ron a covert wink. _"Yeah, but they hadn't reckoned on a Mystical Monkey Master adept in ninja stealth techniques. Even though it took you three trips to carry all that equipment away..."_

Kim announced, "That's a mystery all right. Maybe the thief was simply trying to cover his tracks?"

"And blame it on me!" Drakken quickly whined.

Kim considered that for a moment. "Not that I'm getting soft on you, Drakken, but you could be right. So who would be at the top of that particular list?"

Drakken, Ron and Rufus all simultaneously uttered, "Professor Dementor!"

Ron instantly retorted, "Jinx, Dr. D! You owe me a soda."

Drakken simply rolled his eyes and growled, "Just put it on my tab…"

Kim whipped out her Kimmunicator. "Wade, can you get me the last known location of Professor Dementor?"

"On it, Kim." His fingers flew over his computer keyboard, having the answer in seconds. "Hmm. Bavaria, Germany. And apparently neither he nor any of his henchmen have been out of their lair for at least a week."

"Another dead end, then," Kim groused.

A sly smile began to spread across Ron's face. "Uh, Kim? I'm certainly not saying this is how it happened, but you have to consider that Drakken may have accidently caused the explosion himself, then blamed it on Dementor just to cover up his own incompetence."

Drakken immediately sputtered in anger, "Why you… nngh… ARRGH!… _So… NOT!"_

Kim laughed out loud. "That sounds a _lot _more likely, actually. But it would be helpful to know what this thing actually does. And as Lt. Jefferson here doesn't seem to know… So spill, Drakken."

The villain crossed his arms and huffed petulantly, "Hmph. I'm not saying."

Ron whispered, "I don't think he really knows either, Kim. Probably just attracted by the fact that this was a top secret lab and therefore worth plundering."

Now speechless with anger, Drakken's usually blue face was now glowing purple with apoplectic rage. But as the frustrated mad scientist was dragged away by the guards, he managed to declare in his usual fashion, "You think you're _all that_, Kim Possible! But you're _not!_ _And that goes for your sidekick and his pesky pink pet, too!"_

Ron chuckled, "Wow, Kim. I don't think I've _ever_ seen him so mad before." Rufus quietly snickered in agreement.

"You can say _that_ again, Ron." She turned back to the officer. "Lieutenant, you may not have clearance to know what this thing does, but do you have any idea who was working on it? Maybe we could ask them directly."

He smiled in relief, "That I _do _know, Miss Possible. His name is Dr. Zeruda, but he's currently on leave at the moment."

Kim turned back to the Kimmunicator. "Wade?"

Wade volunteered, "Already on it, Kim. Just a few more seconds, and… got it! I've just located his home address. And he's fairly close by, too. I can have you there in a half an hour..."

* * *

**_IV._**

Thirty minutes later, Kim and Ron found themselves trudging through the apparent wilderness. "Wade, are you sure the address you gave us is right? It looks like we're out in the middle of nowhere."

"No question, Kim. He's very reclusive and likes to keep to himself."

Ron pointed, "Look, Kim, up ahead."

Just over the rise, a small non-descript building had appeared. Out in front a rather scruffy looking individual arose from tending his garden.

"Who are you two? Land developers? Revenuers? Pixie Scouts hawking your muffins?"

Kim replied, "Nothing like that, Dr. Zeruda. We've just come from your lab, which was broken into today. We need to talk to you about a device you're developing for the government. Project Phoebus? You're apparently the only person who actually knows what it does."

Dr. Zeruda relaxed. "Yes, yes I am. Well then, come on in…"

The Doctor had just poured them all some hazelnut tea, when Kim asked, "So, let me be sure I've got this right. You've somehow transferred the brainwave patterns of the most brilliant scientists in the world and plugged them into the Phoebus device?"

He took a deep sip of his tea and answered, "Yes, we were all poker buddies many, many years ago. Professors Salk, Nash, and Hawking were all over one evening and were interested in my new project. Badda-bing, Badda-boom, and the rest was history. The device's brain ray can now impart those same brainwaves to another person in merely seconds."

"So, if someone were to get struck by this ray, it would turn him into, what, a super genius?"

"Yes, but not permanently. The effects are temporary, only a few days at most before wearing off. And my best efforts over the past ten years haven't improved its endurance any further. So I decided to take a leave of absence in order to get my _own _brainwaves together. More tea?"

Kim held up a hand. "No thanks, chamomile is much more my style, actually."

Dr. Zeruda continued, "Well, I'm very happy to hear that that Drakken character didn't get the device. That much brain power in the wrong hands would mean disaster, even temporarily. That's why I have it locked up so tight."

He sadly added, "But someone apparently found it anyway. So for me, I guess it's back to the drawing board once I get the lab cleaned up."

Kim and Ron stood up to leave. "Well, thanks for your time, Dr. Zeruda. I guess the reason for all this will have to remain a mystery for the moment."

"You're welcome, Miss Possible. But if I come up with anything, I'll be sure and let you know."

As they left, Ron sent a quiet thought to Rufus. _"Let's just hope he doesn't…"_

* * *

**_V._**

After returning home later that night, Ron tried to finish his math homework, plus the extra homework Barkin had assigned him for leaving school early that day.

"Boy, Barkin never gives _Kim_ extra homework. And it wasn't even his class we left early from!"

Giving up, he went upstairs to his room. He was surprised to find Rufus hard at work on a variety of projects.

"So what's up, Rufus? This looks like sheet music, maybe even an orchestral score?"

Rufus chittered back, "Schubert's Unfinished. All done!"

"Wow, that's totally badical, you little scamp!"

The eager naked mole rat then eyed two other scores lying on the floor and sent Ron an extended thought. _"And next on my list is finishing the incomplete Bruckner Ninth and Mahler Tenth Symphonies. I just can't decide which one to start next."_

Ron chuckled, "Well, I just hope you'll remember exactly where you stopped once you need a brain recharge. Oh, and by the way, maybe you could write me a coolio rap song while you're at it, one that will win me the annual Middleton High talent competition."

"_No problem. And after that, who knows? Maybe I'll continue by completing Einstein's General Theory of Relativity. I'm really close to cracking t__he problem of quantum gravity and the question of the reality of space-time singularities."_

Ron grinned back, "Well, the answer to that has already been confirmed, or else I couldn't have slipped back in time to make this all possible. But maybe you _could_ coach me on how to get Kim interested in me."

Rufus gave out a tiny terrified squeal. _"What!? I'm a genius, Ron. Not a miracle worker. But if you want my advice, just stick with your original plan, and it'll all come true again someday."_

Ron let out a slow breath. "Yeah, but waiting for that's getting harder by the day. So I've decided to follow through with my bon-diggity idea that could really speed things up a bit."

All Rufus could do was moan softly in reply.

* * *

_**VI.**_

As Ron grinned at Kim from across the table at Bueno Nacho, he casually placed his hands behind his head and let his mind wander.

"_Okay, so far so good. Everything's proceeded according to plan so far." _

He let out a sentimental sigh as he recalled one too many trips lately through many a ventilation duct staring at Kim's beautiful behind, and the increase in cold showers he'd been taking to deal with those inevitable feelings.

"_All except getting together with Kim, that is. But that's all about to change…"_

Out loud he confidently stated, "Yeah, Kim, I think my life is just about to begin."

Kim glanced back at him with a curious look. "Ron, I'm surprised that you're not freaking after what your guidance counselor suggested this morning. So why aren't you eating anything?"

Rufus was busy doing just that, giggling as he practically inhaled his chimarito.

"Oh, just enjoying the moment, KP. I'm never too busy to stop and smell the nachos."

His grin widened as he hooded his eyes ever so slightly. "Which you could afford to do a little more of once in a while."

Kim smugly replied, "Well, I have to stay on top of things, Ron. I have a reputation as a ferocious multi-tasker to maintain, you know."

She continued with a slight grin of her own, "As opposed to _your_ laid-back reputation in maintaining… what did you call it again?"

He gave her a wink. "My essential Ronness."

She smirked, "Yeah, riiiight."

"Hey don't diss the Ronster, KP. As you'll discover, I'm full of surprises."

She cupped her chin in her hands. "Such as?"

"Well, let's see. For starters, how about that extra-curricular activity my counselor recommends 'cause it'll look good on my college applications? Even though that's years away, I've already decided what I'm going do."

Kim's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? That's a lot quicker than your norm, Ron. Although I do have to say, you _have _seemed a lot more focused lately, which is a refreshing change. So, spill already."

He took a deep breath before announcing, "I'm going to try out for the quarterback of the Middleton Mad Dogs."

Kim nearly choked on her soda as she sputtered, "Football?"_ *_cough*_ "Seriously?_ Are you out of your _mind_, Ron?"

He wagged his finger at the shocked blonde. "Tut-tut, KP. My self-confidence has grown quite a bit lately."

Catching her breath, she warned, "Self-confidence is one thing Ron, but how about your instincts for self-preservation? Most of those football players are a lot bigger than you. You could get killed out there!"

He replied with a sarcastic tone, "Yeah, and our missions, they're always just a walk in the park, right?"

Kim grimaced. "Okay, point taken. But there are still plenty of other activities out there that would be a lot safer. How about the mathletes?"

Ron shook his head. "Nah, I've already run the numbers, and they just don't add up."

"All right, then. What about the debate team?"

He held up one hand in mock disdain. "Sorry KP, so not in the mood to argue with you."

Determinedly she continued, "Well, I know afterschool activities are great, like cheerleading is for me. You just need to find your proper niche, which I _don't_ think is football."

She snapped her fingers. "Hey, I know! How about becoming the team mascot? You've got plenty of energy for that…"

She instantly regretted suggesting that, knowing how the cheer squad would probably react to having Ron as their mascot, especially Bonnie.

But Ron merely smiled back mysteriously. "Maybe in another time or place, KP."

_Or another timeline, to be exact_…

"Well, I guess we'll be finding out real soon. Tryouts start in exactly one hour…"

* * *

_**VII.**_

As the crowd of football team wannabes gathered on the field, the Middleton High cheer squad took a break from their afternoon practice to observe the proceedings.

"You _cannot_ be serious, Kim. Stoppable, trying out to be a Middleton Mad Dog?"

Kim sighed, "Bonnie, I'm as freaked as you are about this, but there aren't any rules saying that Ron can't try out."

She shot back, "Check your PDA, Kim! This isn't 'Give-a-Loser-a-Chance' Day!"

Kim retaliated, "Bonnie, Ron is _not_ a loser. He's just… a little unusual, that's all."

The teal-eyed cheerleader rolled her eyes. "Well, if he was still using that muscle ring it might be different, but as it stands now, everyone with just laugh at him. Not _with_ him, _at _him. Long and hard. He doesn't stand a snowball's chance in…"

"All right, you bunch of pathetic posers!" Coach Barkin gruffly bellowed. "Form up, everyone. Halfback hopefuls to the left, kickers to the right, and quarterbacks in the middle."

As Ron stepped to the middle, he wasted no time in doing a little cheerleading of his own. "All right, team, chop-chop! Let's boogie!"

Bonnie's face suddenly drained of all of its color. "Barkin is holding tryouts for _quarterback_? But what about Brick?" she whimpered.

Her answer was soon in coming, as Barkin continued, "I've just been notified that after five years, Brick Flag has finally, and suddenly, graduated from Middleton High. Having just passed his GED with some rather deft tutoring…"

Barkin shot Ron a rather suspicious look, to which he responded with a conspiratorial wink at Rufus, who chittered back with a tiny giggle.

"…he's been accepted for admission to some fancy-schmancy university on a full football scholarship."

Totally thunderstruck, Bonnie's jaw dropped nearly to the ground in shock.

Kim tried to console her rival. "You okay, Bonnie? Hey, I'm really sorry."

"Brick… gone…" She wandered over to the bench and slowly sat down. "And he didn't even tell me…"

Tara and Hope sat down on either side of the dejected cheerleader.

Tara put her arm around her and cooed, "Ooo, Bonnie. That jerk doesn't deserve you…"

Kim snickered quietly under her breath, "Yeah, who _would _deserve a self-centered tramp like her…"

Immediately grabbing her cell phone in order to call him, Bonnie spotted a message waiting for her. Ironically, it was from Brick.

"_Hi Bonnie! Just got a totally awesome scholarship to Bruin Maul University. Sorry I didn't have a chance to say goodbye, but the first practice is tomorrow morning and I had to catch the earliest flight I could find. Oh, and thank Stoppable for tutoring me, I couldn't have done it without him. Later!_"

Hot anger began to well up deep within her soul. As her fury began to boil over, she stood up and marched right up to Ron, rage coloring her face a deep red.

"_You… You_…"

Suddenly coldcocking him with a fierce uppercut, Ron spun around once before slumping to the ground.

Barkin instantly rushed over to check him out. "Stoppable! How many fingers am I holding up?"

Seeing more stars than fingers, he groggily replied, "Tuesday…"

"Okay, Stoppable, walk it off." He turned to Bonnie with a fearsome look. "And _you,_ Rockwaller. My office, 8 AM tomorrow morning!"

"But tomorrow's a Saturday!" she pouted, angrily stomping the ground.

He furiously cut her off. "EIGHT AM! SHARP!"

Kim had now run up, angrily pushing Bonnie aside. "What the heck do you think you're doing, Bonnie?"

With a look of concern, she knelt down to help her friend up. "Are you okay, Ron?"

Massaging his jaw, he replied, "Yeah, I'm fine, Kim. But the Bon-Bon sure packs a wallop, let me tell you."

Turning to the rest of the hopeful candidates, Barkin announced, "All right, nothing to see here people, so let's get these tryouts started. Now, your primary objective is to grind your opponents into the ground until they go crying home to their mommies. And have some fun out there doing it!"

He raised a questioning eyebrow at Ron, who had recovered from Bonnie's assault and was now standing with the quarterback hopefuls.

"You've got to be kidding, Stoppable. You, a quarterback?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Don't make me laugh! Have you ever checked out your last name? That definitely sends the wrong kind of signal to our opponents. Seriously!"

With a grim look of determination, Ron replied, "Never been more sure of myself, Mr. B. Note… serious… face."

After another bark of laughter, the coach tossed the ball to him. "All right then, you can go first, hot shot."

Now a bit calmer, Bonnie walked back over and plopped herself down on the bench, accompanied by a still very upset Kim. "Not a very ladylike move, Bonnie. No matter _what_ you think Ron did."

But Bonnie simply ignored her as she groused, "Just great. Brick is gone for good without as much as a good-bye kiss. And now Stoppable thinks he can just wander in and…"

But she stopped midsentence as Ron made a perfect throw to the receiver, completing an amazing fifty yard pass.

Barkin was astounded, but didn't let on. "Okay, Stoppable. I'll chalk that one up to beginner's luck. So let's just see you try to do that again."

Ron grinned, "No problemo, Mr. Barkin. Just watch this…"

Once again he proceeded to impart a bit of Mystical Monkey Power to the ball, tossing it this time for an incredible seventy yards. But the next receiver wasn't vectoring himself as well as the previous one had, and it looked as if he might not make the completion. Carefully concealing his hand, it began to shine with a bluish glow. The football responded to his mystical command, perfectly adjusting the angle for an easy catch.

Bonnie's jaw dropped, astounded at Ron's accuracy. But as everyone was about to discover, Ron was only getting warmed up.

Next was the running test. The ball was kicked to Ron, who caught it one-handed and proceeded to dance around with it. "That's right! Uh-huh! Who's da man?"

Kim fretted, "Uh-oh, this could get real ugly."

Bonnie agreed. "Yeah, Stoppable's about to get creamed."

But just as he was about to be obliterated by ten ferocious players bent on literally fulfilling Barkin's instructions about grinding your opponent into the ground, he skillfully avoided each one and began to race down the field. With everyone right on his tail, he began using a few moves borrowed from his command of Tai Shing Pek Kwar.

Kim continued to watch with cautious optimism. "Well, Bonnie, I'm both impressed and disturbed. Impressed with his courage and how well he's doing, but disturbed that he could still get slaughtered out there."

Bonnie scoffed, "Ya think? He looks more like a sick chicken, K."

"Yeah, maybe, but he's avoiding every single one of his pursuers if you hadn't noticed, B."

Ron effortlessly entered the end zone, slamming down the ball and taunting the exhausted players. "How you like me now, huh? I'm hot! And you're not!"

Bonnie was astounded as she realized that Ron was totally on his game today, unlike ever before. She also began to begrudge him a little respect, if only just a little.

"Yeah, Kim. I've got to admit that Ron's looking pretty good out there."

Kim was likewise surprised at both Ron's performance, and Bonnie's admission.

"Well, maybe some of our crime-fighting experiences have begun to sink in. When you've had as many henchmen after us as we've had lately, it's really sink or swim."

Bonnie nodded in rare agreement with Kim. "And Ron's definitely begun to swim…"

For his part, Barkin was dumbfounded by the incredible display, but tried to remain unimpressed. "Okay, Stoppable. You can throw and you can run, but let's see just how well you can kick."

With a cheerful grin, Ron raced toward the place holder. Imparting just the right amount of Mystical Monkey Power, he gave the pigskin a powerful kick. A little too much as it turned out, for his feet slipped out from under him and he fell ignominiously on his behind.

But instead of a snide comment, Bonnie cooed, "Ooh, I hope he's okay…"

Kim was stunned. _"All right, now I KNOW the whole world's gone crazy. Ron successful in football, and Bonnie actually concerned if he's hurt? On a scale of one to ten, this rates an eleven on my weirdar scale…"_

Everyone held their breath as the football sailed up, nearly out of sight.

Barkin harrumphed, "Well, better luck next time, Stoppable. And don't think you're going to get away without paying for that lost ball. Middleton High isn't made out of money, and…"

But the coach had spoken too soon. For a moment later, the ball came screaming down out of the sky, smashing into the goalpost bar and denting it with a loud clang, the popped ball now dropping just beyond the post for a successful sixty-yard field goal.

Everyone was now on their feet cheering the boy whom most had previously written off as a goof-off and a failure. And much to Kim's consternation, Bonnie Rockwaller was cheering right along with them.

Barkin raised his hands for quiet. "All right people, pipe down! I have to give everyone else a chance now, but I think Middleton has just found itself _a new quarterback!"_

Another loud cheer went up as Ron was carried off the field. Kim rushed up to her best friend, followed closely by Bonnie.

"Ron, that was, well, really spankin.' And I'm sorry to admit that I didn't think you had it in you."

He beamed, "Thanks, KP. Like I said earlier, you'll find that I'm full of surprises."

Bonnie chimed in, "That goes double for me, Ron."

Unaccustomed to receiving props from Bonnie, he ventured, "Uh, the spankin' part, or the full of surprises part?"

Bonnie gave him a sly grin. "A little of both, Mr. Quarterback. Congratulations."

She immediately cupped his face in her hands and planted a languorous kiss directly on his lips. _"Yeah, Ron, you've just taken a major step up the food chain…"_

A shocked Ron immediately broke off the unexpected advance. He stuttered, "Uh, thanks. Bonnie, I think."

Kim's eyes also shot wide open in shock, but she kept her angry reaction carefully under control. Ron was her best friend, but since he was far from being her boyfriend, she didn't feel she had the right to say anything. Bonnie however had always been in eternal competition for anything and everything that Kim held dear, and that sadly now appeared to include Ron as well.

Easily sensing Kim's discomfiture, he wiped his lips and growled, "But rebounds and playing forward belong on the basketball court, not on the football field, Bonnie."

"Huh?" queried the saucy cheerleader.

Kim quickly stifled a laugh, instantly catching Ron's implication as he angrily continued, "Bonnie, you don't even deserve to be kissed by a naked mole rat, let _alone_ a human."

"Yeah!" Rufus added with a loud raspberry.

Kim smirked, "Okay, Romeo. I think that's enough excitement for one day." And taking his arm, she led him away from Bonnie, who now had a puzzled look on her face. Suddenly Ron's implication hit her.

She narrowed her eyes and hissed, "Ooh. So he thinks he's just the rebound, huh? Just wait till I _really_ turn on my charms. He won't know what hit him, and neither will Kim…"

As they walked away, Kim commented, "Well, Ron. Potential Boy somehow just graduated to _Realized_ Potential Boy. And big time."

He beamed back, "Thanks, Kim. Coming from you, that means a lot." He added with a smirk, "Coming from Bonnie, not so much."

"And how you managed to accomplish what you just did, I have no idea. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. It was almost like… like magic."

A far off look appeared in his eyes. "Yeah, you could say that…"

"But now with Brick gone and you being the new quarterback, Bonnie may be setting her sights on _you_ now. Top-of-the-food-chain and all that."

Ron muttered, "Yeah. That's what scares me."

As they walked on in silence, Ron mulled over this frustrating new development.

"_I wanted Kim, but now it looks like Bonnie's making a play for me, which is just sick and wrong. But I don't want her, I only did this to impress Kim. Man, it looks like Rufus was right on the mark this time. I'm gonna have to be really careful from now on." _

He began to consider his possible options. _"Well, I guess I could play them against the other in the hopes of getting Kim jellin' enough to go for me, but that could easily backfire and make things even worse. No, somehow I've got to remain true to Kim, but how? Man, what am I gonna do now…"_

As Kim and Ron walked off the field, Bonnie licked her lips. "You're mine, Stoppable. You may not know it yet, but you're all mine…"

* * *

_We'll return to Ron's increasingly tangled web soon, but in the meantime, we have a landmark event to celebrate back in our own universe: Kim and Ron's first wedding anniversary! But there are still a few nefarious no-gooders who'd love to spoil it, so stay tuned for next week's topsy-turvy adventure…_

_**TBC…**_


	6. First Anniversary

_This week we get to eavesdrop on Kim and Ron's first wedding anniversary, as they both reminisce on the beginnings of their relationship and ponder what lies ahead. But other evil sitches are simultaneously brewing which threaten to spoil their night out, and it will be up to Wade to protect them, along with a little help from friends both new and old._

_And thanks to friends new and old for their reviews this week: Sentinel101, Eddy13, CajunBear73, Bookworm Gal, EchidnaPower, whitem, ajw1970, and a few more from whitem after some apparent computer glitches. Give Wade a call; he's good at that kind of stuff…_

* * *

_First Anniversary_

* * *

_**I.**_

Kim awoke to see Ron smiling down at her. In his arms he carried a tray table containing an exquisitely prepared breakfast.

Placing the tray on her lap, he announced, "Well, my redheaded angel, happy first anniversary."

She beamed back, "Thanks Ron! This is really thoughtful of you."

"Oh, and here's a card, too."

She opened the envelope and viewed the card, which had a cute marmoset on the cover. Inside it read:

"_Happy Anniversary to the best wife in this universe, or any other. And I'm not just monkeying around… Love, Ron."_

She smirked, "Cute. Very cute."

"So, KP, any special way you'd like to spend our bon-diggity day?"

Kim thought carefully for a moment before answering. "Quietly."

Ron nodded. "I second that emotion, Kim. Totally comprendo. Nice and quiet, just us, and no pesky relatives, bad guys, or alien invasions."

With a slight grin, Kim queried, "And when you say pesky, you're not referring to our respective in-laws, are you?"

Ron laughed, "Not at all, KP. Our mutual in-laws are totally coolio. And not an outlaw among them! With the possible exception of Shego, of course. But she's not really an outlaw any more, and although related to my in-laws, it wouldn't be fair to lump them all…"

Kim gently interrupted, "Focus, Ron."

"Sorry, KP. I was actually referring to Hana, Cousin Shaun, and your brothers."

Kim added with a laugh of her own, "Well, _there_ are four people you usually don't include in the same sentence. But seriously, Hana has been a little angel since hitting age three, you've intimidated Shaun into a near catatonic state, and even the Tweebs have mellowed out a bit."

He nodded back, "True. Especially now that they've discovered girls. Now they're too busy trying to impress the fairer sex with their technological prowess, rather than creating total mayhem."

Kim giggled. "Yup. Them was the good old days. And considering everything that we've been through since starting Team Possible, I'm looking forward to a completely mayhem-less anniversary. Which means Bueno Nacho is totally out."

In jest, Ron gave her a reasonably good Puppy Dog Pout. "Aw, Kim. You'll spoil all my fun."

"Seriously, Naco Boy? How many times has that place been accidentally wrecked by villains, aliens, robots, or even you? Seriously, I've totally lost count."

Ron thrust out his lower lip as he hung his head in false shame. "Ooh. Words can hurt, KP. Not my fault I fell into that vat of chemicals and turned into the amazing Ron-Hulk."

Quickly regaining his cheerful demeanor, he announced, "That's why we're going to spend our evening at Chez Couteaux. And no coupons, I promise."

Kim looked pleasantly relieved. "I should certainly hope so. After your father invested your residuals from inventing the Naco, you could probably buy that place _yourself _and start your own chain."

He casually waved his hand. "Nah, too much trouble. And don't worry, since Camille Leon went straight, I know we won't have a repeat of the night I proposed."

A look of satisfaction came over her face at the mention of that. She was thankful they had been able to capture the fugitive and foil her spur of the moment plan to steal Kim's engagement ring.

"And I've already made the reservations, and placed Wade on alert not to disturb us today under _any_ circumstances, even if the world is about to come to an end. Again…"

"Ooh, planning ahead." She hooded her eyes rather seductively. "You _know_ how that turns me on."

She pulled him into a warm kiss. He responded in kind before slowly pulling away, returning her gaze with a sly one of his own.

"Yeah, I know. The old Ron wouldn't have even bothered planning at all, preferring to just wing it."

"Or maybe forgetting about it completely?"

Ron blushed, grinning back rather sheepishly and reflexively scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, but those days are over, thank the Lord. And I never _ever _want to go back to being that way either. Helping you save the world on a regular basis, not to mention rescuing not only this universe but its parallel to boot, has a bon-diggity way of making one grow up _real_ fast."

His voice softened a bit. "And then helping you through your pregnancy, as we prepare to bring another potential world-saver into the world."

She replied just as softly, tenderly caressing his face. "And I wouldn't have it any other way, Ron. Nor would I trade any of our experiences together for anything. They've made us who and what we are."

"Yup, married. And still very deeply in love."

She cocked one eyebrow. "Uh, you don't think those go together?"

He confidently stated, "Of course they do, Kim. Especially with us." But he scratched his chin as he reconsidered. "Well, _usually_ they do, but not always, sad to say."

She gave a tiny giggle. "Ooh. Getting a little jaded in your old age, huh?"

"Nah. Just realistic. And if I'm realistic, maybe I can avoid making the same mistakes I've seen others make over the long haul."

Kim's eyes shot up. "Wow, you really _have_ changed, Ron."

He began to blush again. "Yeah, maybe I have. Or maybe it's just that dream I had last night."

Kim now sounded concerned. "Dream? What dream?"

"Well, uh, you were kinda… dead actually. But I think I stole the Kepler and went back in time to save you and make everything okay."

Kim nearly swooned. "Ron, that's about the most tragically romantic thing you've ever said. And mind you, you've said some pretty tragically romantic things in the past."

"Yeah, I know."

"So, how did it turn out?"

"Uh, I kinda woke up before it was all over, but it seemed hopeful."

"Well, _that's_ nice to hear. But I think you better lay off those midnight Nacos before going to bed. They might be giving you those nightmares."

"Yeah, maybe. But it seemed so real…"

* * *

_**II.**_

The closely cropped blonde walked slowly out of the prison gates, experiencing her first breath of freedom in nearly four years.

"Finally, the day I've waited for so long is here at last! And it's now time to put my plan for revenge into motion. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable will pay dearly for my humiliation, and I'll once again be at the top of my game and in the national spotlight!"

She continued with a wild look in her eyes. "It's time for me to reinvent myself. That former extreme teen could get away with bear wrestling and extreme bungee jumping off of Pop-Pop Porter's blimp, but that's so passé now, even if I really faked those stunts. And especially compared to Team Possible's antics over the past six months, defeating alien armadas and asteroid attacks."

She smiled wickedly as she narrowed her eyes. "But if I can personally annihilate them after all that, I'll be back on top of the world, and Adrena Lynn will be front page news once again! Frrreaky! But first I'll need a few of my old things out of storage, a video camera to capture the event, and a public place to destroy them…"

* * *

_**III.**_

Wade took a long pull on his soda as he continued working on his space-time calculations.

"Yup. Drew forgot to take the various superstring theories into account. No wonder Mr. Dr. P couldn't make any progress."

Suddenly, his computer began urgently beeping for his attention. He apprehensively began reading the news flash.

"Whoa! Adrena Lynn has just been released from prison?"

He quickly made a few more computer queries. "And after several years of incarceration, her credit cards are suddenly getting a real workout. The bungee cords and the video camera make sense, but what would she want 25 tanks of hydrogen gas for? I better watch this real closely."

He reached down to activate the Kimmunicator, but hesitated. "No, that can wait. I promised both Kim and Ron that I wouldn't disturb them on their special day. And right now, there's nothing that can't wait for a little while at least, so I'll just wait and see what develops. Just so long as nothing _else_ goes wrong…"

* * *

_**IV.**_

The cold, grey statue had stood motionless in its current spot for nearly a year and a half. Its owner had kept it scrupulously clean, daily wiping any pigeon droppings from it in the vain hope that she would one day be able to reanimate it. Or to be more accurate, reanimate _him_, the love of her life. And that in gratitude, he would profess undying love to her for saving him, and after words they would live happily ever after as man and wife. Or monkey and wife, whatever the case may be. But as days had turned into weeks and then months, and finally over a year, that dream had slowly morphed into a sad acceptance of the statue's likely fate, and the woman had quietly resigned herself to being its caretaker.

But today, that was all about to change.

As the last rays of the setting sun faded away, the statue began to glow eerily from within. Its ominous orange tinge betrayed the ultimate source of that evil glow, which now bathed the backyard in its arcane light. The otherworldly sound of wild monkeys was soon heard, and had the woman been at home, she would have rushed to the window in order to discover what the entire ruckus was about.

All at once, the statue began to crack, fissures appearing throughout its monkeylike form. Pieces of stone fell to the ground as orange rays of light burst forth to reveal the form of not quite a man, not quite a monkey. It began to speak.

"Ah! Fresh, pure air, once again." He took in a deep breath and stretched out his genetically altered monkey hands. "And I seem to recognize this yard. So I must finally be back in the land of the living after my long and horrific incarceration."

He shuddered at the memory of his dank imprisonment, located somewhere beyond physical reality in the lair of Yono, the Destroyer.

"I knew if I was only patient enough, that I would eventually find the proper incantation in his arcane library to restore me back to life."

He let out a terrific monkey screech of victory. "Monkey Fist has returned!"

He danced about the yard in joyful abandon. "But I shouldn't tarry here for too long, lest DNAmy entwine me within her cloying embrace once again. I have much more important things to do than play the romantic sop to that miscreant."

He looked down at the glowing talisman in his hand. "And with this, the Amulet of the Fire Monkey, I will be able to defeat my true nemesis once and for all: Ron Stoppable! And with him finally out of the way, it should be child's play to again entomb Kim Possible and his naked mole rat pest within the same kind of rocky death that trapped me until now. Then, the full Mystical Monkey Power will be mine, and I will rule the entire planet as the new Mystical Monkey Master! _Wha-ha, wha-ha, wha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hah!"_

He began to chant in an arcane tongue not heard on this planet for perhaps a thousand years. As he did so, he stretched out his hands, from which emanated a flickering orange light. And anything that light touched, whether it be stone, rock or flower, sprang forth into a new form: the form of a monkey. Soon the backyard was filled with the screaming forms of a hundred brightly glowing simians, all sworn to do their master's bidding.

"Come, my monkey ninjas! We have a score to settle against those two teenage crime fighters. And when I am done with them, they will wish they'd never been born!"

* * *

_**V.**_

Adrena Lynn strolled onto the lot and began looking around. The manager quickly walked up to her, wearing a smarmy smile.

"Welcome to Wacky Wally's Used Earthmovers and Weather Machines! Yes, I've expanded and can assist you in meeting _any_ of your earth or wind needs."

"How about fire?

"Beg pardon?"

"Fire? As in Earth, Wind, and… aw, forget it. I'm looking for a blimp. A big one."

Wally rubbed his hands together. "Well, let's see what we've got today. But first let me show you some of our super specials…"

Adrena growled, "Cut the sales spiel, pal. Just give me the biggest one you've got. I'm in a hurry."

"Well then, today's your lucky day! I just picked this baby up from a little old lady from Boca. Real low mileage. Only used it once a week to travel to and from training with Shaolin monks before she retired."

"Missions? Uh, this lady wasn't named Possible, was she? With a granddaughter by the name of Kim Possible, per chance?"

"Why, I do believe so."

"Freaky! This bit of irony will be the icing on my already over-the-top cake. I'll take it!"

He clapped his hands together. "Wonderful! I'll get the paperwork started."

"No, I mean I'll _take_ it." Whipping out a bungee cord, she quickly tied up the hapless salesman.

He groaned, "Oh dear, just like what happened with that Drakken fellow a few years ago. When will I ever learn…"

Boarding the blimp, she revved the engines up. Waving at the now fuming Wacky Wally, she laughed raucously as she took off in her ill-gotten prize.

* * *

_**VI.**_

That evening, Kim and Ron stepped into the swankiest restaurant in Middleton, where they were greeted by the same maître d' that had served them on the occasion of Ron's proposal of marriage.

"Welcome Monsieur and Mademoiselle!" He instantly grimaced, hitting himself on the head. "A thousand pardons. Monsieur and _Madame_. For you are both married now, no? I saw zee special on TV. Please, your table is waiting, zee best in zee house."

Ron cheerfully replied, "Thanks, Garkoney."

The maître d' politely ignored Ron's usual inadvertent slaughter of the French language, leading them both to a secluded table.

"And this is important. We'd like to spend our dinner quietly, with absolutely no interruptions or distractions of any kind whatsoever. We've both had it up to here with alien invasions, super villains and asteroid attacks, and would really appreciate some peace and quiet over the next few hours."

The maître d' beamed back, "But of course! World saving heroes such as yourselves deserve a well earned and well deserved break. Speak no more of it, Pierre will see to it personally."

They were quickly seated, the owner and manager of the restaurant immediately walking over to them.

"We are honored to have you both visit our humble establishment once again. Your exceptional reputation naturally precedes you both. Let me personally guarantee zee very best evening it is possible to provide."

Kim smiled back, "Thanks so much. But just as long as we have a nice, peaceful evening together to celebrate our anniversary, we would be deeply in your debt."

"Zees I promise, Monsieur and Madame. First may I offer you a bottle of our rarest vintage of Dom Peregrine, on zee house?"

Kim replied in surprise, "Wow, that's awfully nice of you, but we're both still only nineteen. Not of legal age yet in this state."

The manager flashed a sly smile as he whipped out a very official looking document. Clearing his throat, he began to read aloud.

"_Ahem_. In honor of Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable's invaluable service in saving zee world once again from complete and total destruction, the State of Colorado and the City of Middleton issue this joint commemoration, and hereby declare today 'Possible-Stoppable Day.' Zee legal drinking age is hereby reduced to age 19 for the duration of zee evening, in this location only, hereby passed this day by zee Colorado State Legislature and signed into law by zee Governor of Colorado."

Ron gushed, "Then we're legal? _Seriously?_ Booyah!"

Kim blushed, "Well, when you put it like that…"

* * *

_**VII.**_

Wade frowned as he continued to monitor the whereabouts of Adrena Lynn. But after tracing her to Wacky Wally's and tapping into the security cam, his frown deepened.

"Just great, now she's robbed the place and taken off in a blimp. This is getting way too serious. I've got to risk a call to Kim."

He quickly tried the Kimmunicator, but there was no answer. His hopes immediately sank.

"Rats! Kim and Ron are probably at Chez Couteaux already and having their anniversary dinner. And they must have gone one step further and left their Kimmunicators at home. I know they insisted that under no circumstances were they to be disturbed, but this could be really important."

He immediately looked up the restaurant's number and frantically dialed. After two rings, the very snooty sounding maître d' answered. "Chez Couteaux. How may I help you?"

"This is Wade Load calling for Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable. There's been an emergency, and I need to speak with them right…"

But the maître d' instantly interrupted with, "I am so sorry, but they have left me express orders not to be disturbed under _any_ circumstances whatsoever. Goodbye."

Wade only had time to get out a single word, "But…" before the maître d' hung up. Wade immediately dialed again. Once again, the pompous maître d' answered. "Chez Couteaux. How may I help you?"

Wade immediately pleaded, "Please, this is an emergency call for Kim Poss…"

The now irritated head waiter quickly cut him off. "No, I am sorry. Do _not _call again." And once again he hung up on the now very frustrated computer geek.

Hoping his persistence would pay off, he tried a third time, but only got a busy signal. "Dang it, that guy's left the phone off the hook! Maybe I can reach the Middleton PD and have them send a squad car over to warn them."

His annoyance only increased after getting a message that all lines were busy. "All right, let's try the Upperton PD."

But he only got the same message, and again when he tried the Lowerton PD. His anxiety had now reached an all-time high. "No luck anywhere? What on earth is going on?"

Furtively drumming his fingers on his desk, he mumbled, "What am I going to do?" Thinking quickly, he looked up a new number and dialed. After a few rings, the individual picked up.

"Hello?"

"This is Wade Load calling, Kim Possible's friend? I've got a critical emergency that we could _really_ use your help with."

The phone remained silent for a moment. Then…

"All right. What do you need?"

Relieved, Wade quickly began. "Okay, here's what I need you to do…"

About a half hour later, a car drove onto the lot at Wacky Wally's, the owner still bound tightly in Adrena Lynn's bungee cord. He cried out, "Hey! Please help me! I've just been robbed!"

An individual exited the car and snickered, "I'm in the market for one of your weather machines, but I see that you're, well, tied up at the moment."

Wacky Wally moaned, "Very funny, I almost forgot to laugh. Perhaps you could untie me, unless you're planning on stealing one of my vehicles too?"

The female evenly replied, "No, but I'm interested in buying." As she untied him, she asked, "So, someone just made off with one of your vehicles?"

"That's right."

She took out a photograph. "Is this the person?"

Wacky Wally nodded. "That's her. I never forget a face. And I also seem to remember her on a TV show about five years or so ago."

"Good memory. Does the name Adrena Lynn strike a bell?"

"As a matter of fact, yes! And I remember her catch phrase too: 'What will she do next?' "

"Well, that's the question I'd like to get an answer for before it's too late. So what did she steal, exactly?"

"My biggest blimp, the showpiece of my entire lot!"

"I hope it was insured."

"Of course! With machines this expensive, they have to be. And by the way, you look kind of familiar too. In fact, _you_ bought one of my weather machines a few years back, if I remember correctly."

She smoothed her hair back and smiled back at him. "Ooh, so you remember me?"

"Sure. And it looks like you've had some work done, too. Must have been expensive…"

She sneered back, "Gee, thanks. Moving on, I'm in the market for the same type of craft, especially since I've got a strong hunch on what Adrena Lynn is going to do with hers."

"So, what do you think _you'll_ be using it for?"

"Let's just say I really want to, uh, _steal her thunder_ as well as recapture some of my former glory."

He gave her a knowing wink. "Hey, what you do with it once it's off the lot is totally your business."

After a quick look around the lot, she spotted what she was looking for. "Ah, the 3000 LXS. Just what the doctor ordered."

Wacky Wally politely corrected her. "Actually, this is the new improved _Weathermaster 5000 LXS_! Not _only_ do heated seats, lumbar support, A/C and a sun roof come as standard equipment, but it now has 50% more power than the old 3000!"

He gave her a nudge and a wink as he continued his sales spiel. "And, it can now enhance hurricanes up to Category 5, and tornado capability is a brand-new feature with this year's model."

"Perfect, I'll take it."

Wacky Wally froze. "Uh, when you say you'll take it, do you mean you'll buy it, or swipe it like that other dame did?"

"Oh, definitely buying. Here's my credit card."

Wally ran it through the machine and gasped. "Wow, you must have some credit limit. Breaking into the super villain business yourself, perhaps?"

"No, but I'd sure like to catch one before it's too late. And repay a little debt I owe."

As she flew off the lot, Wacky Wally mused, "A little long in the tooth, but she's still kinda hot. Rrrow!"

* * *

_**VIII.**_

The maître d' soon returned with the champagne, uncorking the celebratory libation with his usual elegant flair.

"Wow, Ron. This is really spankin', but as much as I'd enjoy this, I better pass, especially with a baby on the way. I don't even want to risk even a single glass."

She giggled, "Well, maybe just a sip. But you go ahead, Ron, and I'll be the designated driver, okay? But just keep it to one bottle, please and thank you?"

"No problemo, KP. A tipsy Mystical Monkey Master probably wouldn't make for very good company on our anniversary. Besides, I don't remember anything being mentioned in my studies of the Masters about the effects of alcohol on their powers. So I wonder if my MMP might give me a degree of immunity, just like your comet powers do."

Kim looked surprised. "Oh? And how would you know anything about that?"

"Well, convos with Shego and her brothers, actually. They've had their powers for a much longer time and know a bit more about the fine points of their individual abilities."

"Really? I wasn't aware that they drank at all."

"As a rule, they don't. Shego, however…"

Kim chuckled. "Let me guess, Hego's superior attitude and Mego's self-centeredness drove her to drink, right?"

He grinned back, "Well, let's just say… occasionally."

"A tipsy Shego? That actually sounds scarier than having her sober, especially considering her temper."

"Actually not as much as you'd think, KP. From what I understand, it takes about twice as much alcohol for the same effect, and because of her unusual metabolism, it wears off in about half the time."

"Wow. She could literally drink anyone right under the table if she had to, huh?"

Ron gave her a knowing grin. "A fact that she's used to her advantage on more than one occasion, in point of fact."

"Really? So spill then, Ron. I'm all ears."

As he took a sip of champagne, a conspiratorial look came over his face. "Now the way Hego told it, they were trying to pump 'Big Daddy' Brotherson concerning some intel about Avarius. And knowing his habit of playing games, Shego had brought along an expensive bottle of absinthe."

"Whoa. That stuff is like, what? 150 proof?"

"More or less."

"So, who won? He's pretty hefty, and I imagine he could really hold his liquor."

"Well, just think of that scene in _Lost Raiders of the Last Ark_, where Marion drank that Tibetan sheep herder right under the table."

"Yeah?"

"Shego won hands down. Or maybe that's 'bottles' down? But she discovered that her control over her plasma temporarily decreased quite a bit, which is why she doesn't drinky-poo all that often."

"Good thing too, since she's also preggers. But that's still one ferocious anecdote in any case."

At that moment, the waiter returned with their appetizer, an exquisite shrimp cocktail. Ron picked one of the shrimp up, eyeing it closely.

"Heh. This reminds me of the plans for our first wedding reception."

Kim tsked, "You mean the one that _didn't_ happen, thanks to Warmonga crashing the party and abducting you and Drakken?"

"Yup, one in the same. And the one where the Oh Boyz flaked on us because one of the appetizers was fish, and we know how Robby hates fish. Ironic, since he's a Pisces."

Kim graced him with a tender smile. "But we were never that finicky with each other, thank goodness."

He returned her smile with the same warmth. "Yeah, you really took my BN fixation in stride, KP."

"Well, they _did_ serve some spankin' salads."

"Which you had almost every Ron Night."

They both laughed lightly. After a moment, a more serious look appeared on Ron's face.

"I always meant to ask you about that, Kim. Even though we weren't really dating, Ron Night seemed to be, well, kind of a _date_ night in reality, right?"

Kim hesitated. "Well, more of a friendship thing, really."

"Which I really, _really _valued, by the way."

She hooded her eyes slightly. "Ditto."

As they each munched on another shrimp, Ron tried to casually ask, "Kim, uh, if you don't mind me asking, when did you first notice that you, um, had feelings for me?"

Even so, his voice cracked ever so slightly as he posed that delicate question, and Kim got a far off look in her eyes as she considered it.

"Wow, let me think about that for a moment…"

* * *

_**IX.**_

As Monkey Fist and his evil minions proceeded down the main thoroughfare between Lowerton and Middleton, the villainous monkey-man grinned widely in evil anticipation. "Yes, the Amulet of the Fire Monkey is working perfectly. It is homing in directly on my target for tonight, Ron Stoppable. And curiously, he appears to be located at a restaurant in Middleton this evening, rather than at home."

He rolled his eyes at the memory of Kim and Ron's romantic relationship at the time of the transformation of his physical body into a stone statue and the subsequent descent of his spirit into the bowels of Yono's mystical lair. "Yes. Perhaps he's on a date with the _cheerleader_. Now _that's_ a relationship I could never understand, not in a thousand years. Nevertheless, together or not, they shall both taste the wrath of Monkey Fist before this night is over."

Just then, a police car pulled up, and the officer exited his vehicle. "All right, pal. What's the big idea?"

Monkey Fist gave him a look of '_who, me?' _before replying, "Why, officer, whatever are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent with me, bub. You and your filthy monkeys belong in a zoo, not on a public street. You even got a license to own those things in the first place?"

His eyes narrowed dangerously at the insult. He answered evenly, "Why, yes, I do believe that I do. And I've got it right here…"

Pulling out the amulet, a lightning bolt of orange energy shot forth, enveloping the police officer within its baleful glow. In another moment, he was frozen in place, having been turned to cold, hard stone. His partner quickly grabbed for the radio, having barely enough time to signal a 10-13, 'officer needs assistance,' before likewise being turned to stone, along with his squad car.

"And if you need the actual _paperwork_, see Yono, the Destroyer. I'm _sure_ his library has convenient check-out privileges available for you…"

The Middleton PD instantly responded by sending all available units to the rescue. Wade immediately picked up this emergency traffic on his scanner and listened with great concern as the reports started pouring in.

"A hundred glowing monkeys being led by a madman? Orange lightning bolts being fired, turning innocent bystanders into stone? Oh, man. This can only mean one thing: Monkey Fist is back! How can this get any worse?"

Suddenly, another computer alert sounded as an emergency call went out. "The National Guard? Now what?"

The message was garbled, but Wade could just make it out. "An army of giant bedbugs have just attacked Upperton and are closing in on Middleton?"

Acting on a hunch, he did some quick checking, tapping into the computer system of the local penitentiary. Specifically, Cell Block D. He gasped at his discovery.

"Chester Yapsby has escaped! And he must have found his Roflex device and created a brand new horde of humongous insects!"

He instantly regretted asking how this could get any worse. Putting his head in his hands, he groaned, "I take it back…"

But quickly getting a hold of himself, he declared, "All right. Time to call in the cavalry."

He picked up the phone and dialed the international operator. "I'd like to make an overseas call to Yamanouchi, Japan, person to person…"

* * *

_**X. **_

Kim smiled back reassuringly, toying with her appetizer for a moment before demurely answering, "Well, I've always had feelings for you, Ron. You know that."

Ron pressed ahead. "Yeah, I know we've been best buds since pre-K, but, uh, I'm talking about feelings of the romantic kind? I think those developed a lot later."

Kim stared off into the distance, trying to focus in on when those first soft blossoms of love had begun to bud.

"Well, I guess the first time I _really_ knew was after Shego and I got blindsided by those Moodulator chips. Suddenly I was experiencing all of these feelings of love, joy, anger and sadness, feelings I had never felt quite so intensely before, feelings I never even knew that I had. And most of them, especially the romantic and happy ones, were centered on you."

"And the others?"

"Well, uh, let's just say you were an innocent bystander."

Ron smiled back, "Yeah, I think Dr. Bortel explained later that those chips didn't really _create_ feelings, they only magnified the ones that were already there."

"Uh huh. And you remember what I said after my chip finally fried?"

"Yup, that there still were fireworks. That made me feel real good to hear you say that. Especially since right before that, uh, I had kinda…"

"Broken up with me?"

As Kim grinned at his discomfort, Ron guiltily pulled at his collar. He began to babble, "Well, yeah, but we were only going out on a date, and you were coming on so strong, it kind of freaked me out, and…"

Kim reached across the table and placed a finger on his lips. "Shhh. It's okay, Ron. That was the Moodulator talking. And if I'd been in your shoes, I would have freaked more than a little myself."

"Thanks, Kim. But it really got me to thinking. Dating really did seem to be the next logical step, but I was scared to death that if something went wrong with the relationship, and if it didn't work out, that it would deep six our friendship for good."

A mild tone of panic began to seep into his voice. "And even if it didn't, I would have felt awkweird going on missions with you, especially if you started dating another hottie, and then I'd feel like a fifth wheel or something, start losing sleep or getting even _more_ distracted as usual, and probably end up putting us all in danger at some critical moment, causing our untimely…"

Kim gently interrupted, "Ron, chill out. That didn't happen. And in spite of our various and sundry little crushes on other people, we still ended up getting together."

"Yeah, but they were mostly _your_ crushes and _my_ cluelessness."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I seem to remember your attempt at instant popularity during spring break that one time. _Clean slate_, I believe you called it?"

He gave her a weak smile. "Heh-heh, guilty as charged. But that was a _general _attempt to attract the ladies, not a specific crush. For example, I didn't even knowTara was crushing on me until after she had moved on, and you were the one who had to tell me that Yori _liked me_ liked me."

Kim giggled, "Yes, you _were_ kind of clueless that way." Her expression dimmed ever so slightly. "But remember that I was a little clueless too. And not only about you, but I was also insensitive about your feelings while I was blinded by my crush on Eric."

Ron sadly looked down at the empty shells of shrimp, remembering his own loneliness and sorrow at the time. "Yeah, Synthodrone #901. Bad times, bad times…"

He looked back up at Kim. "Yeah, that really did hurt. I was sure that I had lost you, and almost gave up."

Kim reached across the table to gently squeeze his hand. "But you didn't, Ron. You persisted in warning me about Drakken's sicko Lil' Diablo plot. Which in retrospect I should have listened to you right away about."

She exhaled softly. "But I was so gaga over that creep that I didn't even realize how much I was hurting you. And when Mom and Dad were taking pictures of me and him together, knowing what I know now…"

She frowned as a tinge of guilt licked like a tiny flame at the edges of that memory.

"He wasn't real, Ron. And he never was. He was simply created to distract me from the truth of Drakken's plot. And that almost…" She began to choke up. "And that almost led me away from you, both as a friend and maybe, well, as a boyfriend too."

She added with a nervous laugh, "Eric was, well, you know, just a fantasy. And maybe a dream come true, and a real hottie, and a…"

Ron began to pale slightly. "You're starting to drool, KP."

Kim quickly backpedaled. "Oops, heh-heh, sorry… What I mean to say is, he was tailor-made to dupe me. But he was a total fake. It was all just a big lie. And I felt like such a fool after I realized how deeply I'd been taken in by Drakken's plot."

Ron nodded. "Yeah, but it was all by design, Kim. And I have to admit, it was probably his best plan up to that point. Shego later told me that even _she_ couldn't figure it out. Not only did he have a real wrongsick plot to take over the world, but also a plan to destroy you in the process." He snickered, "But it kinda backfired on both of them, didn't it?"

"Yeah, it did. They tried to make it _so the drama_, but failed big time. And that was thanks to you. You've always been my best friend, you've always been there for me, and you've always had my back. And I nearly blew it."

She looked pensive for a moment. "I think that being so familiar with each other over the years had made me feel really relaxed around you. So I never really thought of you as a guy, I always thought of you as, well, just Ron. Not that that was bad or anything, of course."

"Of course," he pleasantly smirked.

"So when I started growing up, I didn't see you as boyfriend material. But I was wrong. _Ferociously_ wrong. And then we started dating, and for the first time in my life, everything started falling into place. I discovered that we were perfect for each other, even though every single villain we faced couldn't see it."

Ron gently rolled his eyes. "And a few friends and a few parents, too."

Kim hastened to remind him, "Yes, but they were wrong. Everything we didn't find in ourselves, we found in each other."

Ron began to relax again. "And now, here we are, married and celebrating our first wedding anniversary. And I couldn't imagine a better place to spend it."

Kim sighed deeply. "I totally agree, Ron. This has been absolutely perfect so far."

"So far? What, are you expecting some kind of disaster, KP?"

She gave him a longing gaze. "Not while you're here with me, Ron…"

* * *

_**XI.**_

Now filled with explosive hydrogen, the blimp headed purposely toward its target in Middleton: Chez Couteaux and its two young diners, still oblivious to the impending peril, and still unaware of the chaos swirling nearby. Adrena Lynn grinned evilly, her eyes wide in anticipation as she flew the blimp on a steady course. Switching on her video camera, she began to record.

"A posh restaurant, two snobby world-savers, and a desperate mission: tonight I will pull off my most incredible stunt yet. Ultimate revenge against Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable! I can see the headlines now: Where the Lorwardians failed, Adrena Lynn finally succeeds! And the clock is ticking: twenty minutes until Ground Zero! This is real, it's extreme, _and it's totally frrrreaky!_"

She checked her controls and frowned.

"Hey, I should be going faster than this. So what gives?"

She pushed the throttle even further, but was rewarded for her efforts by heavy turbulence.

"I don't get it. The weather report said clear with winds about 10 miles an hour."

She looked out of the gondola only to see angry clouds scudding along, whipping by at a furious rate.

"Uh, oh. This is totally freaky, and not in a good way," she huffed, struggling to maintain control over the airship. Pushing the throttle to the max, she desperately tried to keep the blimp on course with its date with destiny. Suddenly, the craft began to spin out of control. Outside, she spotted the telltale funnel cloud responsible for her critical predicament.

"Tornado!"

Excited by the rush of piloting the airship through a deadly twister, she let out a whoop of excitement. That exclamation however quickly turned to panic as she heard a sickening ripping noise as the airship's fabric skin began to shred. Now totally out of control and rapidly losing altitude, she swore under her breath and prepared to bale out of the doomed blimp.

"Curse you, Kim Possible! You may have escaped my revenge this time, but next time you won't be so lucky!"

Jumping from the craft, she was lucky enough not to be shredded by the blimp's propellers, nor dashed into the ground by the tremendous wind shear of the accompanying freak thunderstorm. But she was unable to avoid getting caught in a tree, her chute cords wrapping around her as tightly as a butterfly's cocoon. This left her hanging helplessly a mere ten feet above the ground, and directly over Officer Hobbes squad car.

"Ah, Miss Lynn. So glad you could be droppin' in on us all convenient like this. Allow me to give you a free ride right back to Cell Block D. And if anyone asks 'what will she do next,' you can tell them another 10 to 20 in the slammer as a reward for your exploits today."

But while Adrena Lynn was being taken away, Chester Yapsby was beside himself with joy only a few blocks away, as his army of colossal bedbugs consumed everything in their path.

"Yes! My new improved Roflax device is a complete success! And where I failed before with cockroaches, I shall succeed with giant bedbugs! And my first target shall be Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable! And after they are done away with, the entire tri-city area will be at my mercy…"

As he cackled in evil glee, the huge blood sucking pests replied with a horrific chatter as the marched inexorably toward their target.

* * *

_**XII.**_

As soon as Kim and Ron finished their soup, their salads were promptly served. Ron queried, "Kim, I've always wondered about something. Looking back, what if I had made a play for you earlier? Not that I'm not happy the way everything turned out, of course."

"Well, that's a good question. And to be honest, I've often wondered the same thing."

Surprised, Ron stuttered, "You… you have?"

His mind flashed back to the end of the Moodulator incident.

**"**_So I guess the crush and everything was all moodulator, huh?"_

**"**_Not everything. There's still fireworks."_

Kim continued, "Ron, I have a confession. I may be the girl who can do anything, but after carefully thinking about it tonight, I think I subconsciously had the same fears that you had about, well, jeopardizing our friendship in case a romance between us accidentally tanked."

Both of Ron's eyebrows shot up at this revelation. "So you really _did_ have feelings, but you weren't aware of them?"

"Well, sorta I guess. And I didn't…. I couldn't face that fear. So I think that I ended up focusing even more on excelling in my schoolwork, leading the cheer squad, and going on missions to save the world."

Ron nodded in understanding, mumbling something that he'd heard Warhok say. "Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt…"

"What was that, honey?"

"Denial. We were both in denial about our deepest feelings! But we both reacted differently. Really, _really_ differently. With me, it fed into all my fears and lack of a positive self-image. And I responded by developing my essential Ronness, that devil-may-care attitude that allowed me to just aimlessly glide along in life. But with you, it spurred you on to achieve and excel, and with a Type A+ personality."

A thoughtful look came over Kim's face. "Wow, that's really deep. And it explains a lot."

"So, uh, what if I had asked you out on a real _date_ date? What would you have said?"

"You mean, if you had taken the initiative? That's a real good question. I guess it would have depended on the circumstances, and how you asked."

Ron nodded in understanding. "So, it would have boiled down to timing, in other words."

Kim shrugged. "Yeah, I think so. But we really can't go back in time now to see how it could have turned out differently." She added with a pleasant smile, "And I don't think I would want to anyway. I'm kinda happy at the way things eventually turned out."

He gazed back gently at his beautiful wife. "Yup. No argument there. But still, I wonder…"

Ron had that weird look on his face again. "What is it, Ron?"

"Well, knowing that there's at least _one_ alternate universe out there where things turned out differently, I wonder how many others there are. And what happened with us in each of them."

A chill went up Kim's spine at the thought of that. "That sounds more like a question for mystics and philosophers, Ron."

He continued to gaze off into the distance. "Yeah. But maybe, once the Kepler is rebuilt…"

Kim reached over to touch her husband's hand. "How about we keep both feet on the ground for the moment, at least until I've given birth, okay, Mystic Boy?"

Ron chuckled. "Deal. But I know you're curious too, KP. Especially about what really happened in that alternate universe. But right now, I'm very content to enjoy our badical evening together and take a walk down memory lane, happy in the way everything actually turned out for us."

Kim responded with both a smile as well as a look of relief. "And that's what anniversaries are for, aren't they?"

* * *

_**XIII.**_

By now Monkey Fist and his infernal minions were now within sight of Chez Couteaux. He gloated as he looked down at his brightly glowing talisman.

"Yes! Stoppable and his cheerleading bimbo must be dining within that restaurant up ahead. Well, enjoy your last meal, you meddlesome fools. And after you're both gone, there will be no one left to stop me from taking over the world as its one and only Mystical Monkey Master! _Ah-hah! Ah-hah! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-hah!_"

Suddenly he heard an angry chittering below. As he looked down, he was surprised to see a naked mole rat accompanied by a tiny child of about three.

Looking quite amused, he reflected on this. "Ah, how far they have fallen, sending pets and children to defend against me and my powerful minions. How truly pathetic."

But an angry voice instantly popped into his head. "No, Monkey Fist. You are the one who is pathetic, believing that you and your malodorous monkeys could possibly pose a threat to Ron-san and Kim-chan. And it is my honor to reveal they are now married to each other and celebrating their first anniversary in that French restaurant up ahead, the one which you shall never live to reach."

Monkey Fist's eyes shot wide open in surprise. "Well, Yori, you seem to have added telepathy to your paltry bag of tricks. But no matter. Neither you, the Han, nor this pitiful mole rat will prevent me from wreaking my terrible revenge. With a mere thought, I will turn both her and the rodent to stone."

His talisman now glowing bright orange, he prepared to strike Hana and the brave little mole rat, who bravely stood their ground. As his evil monkey grin grew ever wider, he proclaimed, "And although the Han may still be nimble enough to avoid my mystical attacks, she cannot possibly stop me while I possess the Amulet of the Fire Monkey…"

In her tiny baby voice, Hana innocently replied with but two words. "Guess again…"

Pulling out a blue amulet of her own, its brightly shining rays shot forth, easily batting away Monkey Fist's attack.

The evil monkey lord was astounded. "What? This is impossible! Unless… no, it cannot be! The Han possesses the Amulet of the Water Monkey, the only thing that can counter my own dark power!"

Rufus waved his tiny paw and gleefully snickered, "Uh-huh! Uh-huh! _Bye-bye!_"

And with another intense flash, a mystical sapphire ball enveloped Monkey Fist and his hapless lackeys. Screaming in terror, they were each frozen in place, unable to move. When the ball of light had finally dissipated, all that was left were scorch marks where each of the monkeys has stood, and the stone statue of Monkey Fist, a look of incredulity and fear now frozen on his rocky face.

At the same moment, all across the tri-city area, the damage that Monkey Fist had done was instantly repaired, everyone who had been turned to stone gratefully changing back to flesh and blood.

Hana merely giggled in response, happily clapping her tiny hands together as Rufus joined in with a gleeful chatter of his own.

Another mystical ball of light now began to form before them, coalescing into a translucent sphere. The beautiful female form within graced them each with a benign smile.

"_Omedetou,_ and well done, my friends. The evil one has been sent back from whence he came, never to bother the living ever again. And it was your great honor to accomplish this feat, and protect Ron-san and Kim-chan once again. Please to thank Wade-san for alerting me to this terrible threat. And never forget, my little Hana, that you still have much to teach the world…"

As Yori faded from view, Hana and Rufus each gave the other a tiny high five. Just then, Ruth Stoppable ran up.

"Oh, _there_ you two are! You had me so worried! One moment I was grocery shopping, and the next, you had disappeared without a trace! I'm just so glad I found you both, safe and sound. Don't ever run away like that again, please?"

But a perplexed look then crossed over her face. "But what ever possessed me to go shopping at 10 pm in the first place and drag you two along, especially after I had just been to the store? I must be losing my mind…"

She picked up the smiling child and gave her a quick hug, as Rufus and Hana shared a conspiratorial wink.

* * *

_**XIV.**_

As Kim and Ron were served their main course, Ron continued to reminisce. "Yup, I'm still glad things turned out exactly the way they did. And they were pretty coolio for the first few months. That is, until you got hit by that memory eraser. I thought I had lost you for good that time."

"But thanks to my Dad, I got a lot of my memories back right away." She continued with a growl, "Plus even a few I never had, like a fascination with Captain Constellation episodes."

Ron chuckled, "Yeah. But he also conveniently left _me _out of those memories too, didn't he?"

She nodded, frowning at her father's attempted deception. "Yeah, but he apologized later. Under threat of extreme death, of course."

"Yeah, but what about Bonnie? She was always rooting against us too. And you can't tell me that you didn't get one bon-diggity thrill out of getting her goat by dating me. Y'know, _the loser_?"

She chuckled at the memory. "Yeah, I _did_ get kind of a rush by making her eat her words, and everybody else did too while they cheered for the both of us at the Junior Prom. But getting her goat wasn't the real reason I decided to start dating you."

She fixed him with a look of absolute confidence. "It was because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was the right thing to do, that it was what I really and truly wanted. And when I knew everyone else had all been rooting for us all along, that was the icing on my Seven Layers of Heaven chocolate cake. It confirmed everything, and really sealed the deal for me."

"And for us," he smiled back.

"That's because you're the real deal, Ron. Now _you're_ my Adonis, my heartthrob, and my hunky beefcake. And my husband, till death do us part."

Ron now reached across the table to tenderly squeeze Kim's hand. But his smile disappeared as he shuddered involuntarily. "Which has almost happened to both of us, and more than once."

In his mind's eye he recalled that terrible vision of Warhok holding Kim up by one leg, her unconscious form dangling like a rag doll. And then again only a few months ago, as she lay comatose after a ruptured aneurysm nearly took her life.

For her part, Kim couldn't help but remember Ron's own brush with death the year before, as his spirit had been literally torn from his body as Zorpox took over his corporeal form. They both squeezed each other's hand even tighter, not wanting to let go. After a long moment, Kim spoke again.

"Ron, I've seen a spankin' progression in you over the past four years. You stepped up from best friend to boyfriend, then almost lost me when Warhok and Warmonga first attacked the Earth. But after being abducted, you came after me. Then you saved my life by defeating them both in hand-to-hand combat. That's when you stepped up from being my sidekick to being an equal partner. And a few months later, my husband."

In humility, Ron tried to brush that aside. "Don't forget that you pursued _me _across the stars after Warmonga tried to, uh, return the favor? And you saved the world, to boot."

She wagged her head. "No, Ron. _We_ saved the world. And defeated a formerly evil alien world which is now our ally, accidentally created a parallel universe, and now we're married and celebrating our first wedding anniversary. How do you top that?"

Ron scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, maybe by raising a family?"

Kim giggled, "I was hoping you'd say that." She looked down at the table before continuing, "But even if I for some reason never lived to see another day, I wouldn't have a single regret. And even if I could, I wouldn't change a single thing. Because I love you that much, Ron."

Several seconds passed by as they both remained silent, each lost in their own thoughts. At last, they looked up into each other's eyes. Still silent, they inched closer to each other until their lips met in blissful release, deeply thankful for not only the existence of the other, but that they were together, now and forever.

A very long moment later, they finished the tender kiss. Ron continued to stare deeply into Kim's beautiful green eyes. "I'm really glad we got to spend this time alone, Kim. Just the two of us."

Kim gazed back, still savoring that last kiss. "Me too, sweetie. And look! The earth is still here, and the restaurant is still standing. I'm so glad the world could get along without us for just one day, and _so_ without the drama. So, happy anniversary, darling."

"And happy anniversary to you too, my angel. Now, how about some dessert?"

She cupped her head in her hands and gave him a very sly look through hooded eyes. "Mmm, sounds delicious. So, a little dessert here, and maybe a _lot_ more once we get home?"

Ron began to blush deeply, needing none of his mind-reading skills to know exactly what Kim was implying.

* * *

_**XV.**_

The pilot of the Weathermaster 5000 LXS nodded in pleasure at the now disabled blimp, which was descending rapidly after being ripped apart by her artificially induced tornado. One of her passengers had activated the automatic videocam just as the craft struck a live power line. His timing could not have been better, as Chester Yapsby's horde of giant bedbugs were at that very moment passing beneath the high voltage wires. The escaping hydrogen instantly caught fire, exploding into a huge fireball that swiftly incinerated the humongous insects.

While their terrifying screams drowned out Chester Yapsby's own cry of defeat, the youth zoomed in on the defeated mad scientist as he angrily jumped up and down on the Roflex device he had been using to control the disgusting creatures.

His twin brother excitedly asked, "Did you get that close-up shot in focus?"

Quickly reviewing the shot, he declared, "Got it! Hicka-bicka-boo?"

"Hoo-shah! And it doesn't take an expert lip reader to figure out the language he's using at the moment."

"Yeah, and if Mom or Dad caught us using profanity like that, they'd ground us for a month!"

Jim next turned to the blonde pilot and declared, "Well, Summer, that's a wrap."

Summer Gale could not have been more pleased. "Well, thanks for the help, boys. Jim's intercept vectors were right on the money, and Tim's videography was spot on. So we killed two birds with one stone, as they say. Adrena Lynn and Chester Yapsby are both going back to jail, and I've got the exclusive."

She pumped her fist in victory. "Comeback City, here I come!"

Jim gushed, "No problem, Summer! And this just proves that anything's possible for a Possible."

"Even if our names are Jim and Tim, and not Kim," Tim finished.

A viewscreen on the instrument panel activated, and the grinning face of Wade Load appeared. "Great job, guys! Adrena Lynn and Chester Yapsby have just been apprehended by the police, and those giant bedbugs have been fried to a crisp. And Summer, good thing you knew how to fly the Weathermaster 5000. We couldn't have done it without you."

Quickly checking her makeup, Summer replied, "Don't mention it, Wade. And thanks for the credit bump that allowed me to purchase it. Now, this _does _make up for the time I accidentally used that thing to create those horrible monster snowmen a few years ago, right?"

"Absolutely no question, Summer. And I'll make sure that you get full credit for this sitch, too."

Summer heaved a happy sigh of relief. "Perfect. Now to download and edit this footage, and it'll be ready for the first episode of my comeback show, "_What Are They Doing Now?_"

Jim flashed a toothy grin at the news reporter. "Now, Wade _did _tell you that we get to be included on your show, didn't he?"

Summer nodded back, "Yes, he did. And I think I might even be able to swing a guest spot for you two on Jimmy Blamhammer's show as well."

"You mean, '_Stuff On Fire_?' That would be totally awesome! Hicka-bicka-boo?"

"Hoo-sha!" was his twin's ecstatic reply. But he covertly whispered to Jim, "Wow, her facelift didn't take very well, did it?"

"Nah. Let's just hope the TV audience is more interested in us than in looking at her…"

* * *

_**XVI.**_

After they each finished their dessert, Kim gingerly dabbed her mouth. "Well, not quite as good as your Seven Layers of Heaven chocolate cake, but pretty spankin' nevertheless."

"Totally agree-a-mundo, KP."

Kim continued with a smile, "And now that our evening is about over, I have something, uh, kinda important I'd like to discuss with you."

Ron froze immediately, fear licking at the edges of his mind. "Uh, sh-sure, Kim. What is it?"

He dug his fingernails into his palms, trying with all his might to fight the feeling of panic rising within him. In spite of everything that they had reminisced over that evening, the phrase, '_We've got to talk_' began echoing in his mind like a litany of doom. He instantly flashed back to Mr. Barkin's dire pronouncement, _'__The point is, nothing lasts forever, Stoppable. Things fall apart! The center cannot hold! … cannot hold… cannot hold…'_

In blind terror, he suddenly yelled out, "Kim! _You're breaking up with me!?"_

Kim rolled her eyes at the ceiling in response to Ron's PTSD-like outburst. She casually continued, "No, silly. And amp down, please and thank you? I'm not breaking up with the man I love so much. I… I just wanted to talk to you about baby names."

Feeling massively relieved, he mumbled, "Oh. That's, _heh-heh_, great, Kim…"

"So, have you given much thought to what we'll name our first… child?"

Kim grinned mysteriously.

"Okay, Kim. Now you're scaring me. We're not giving birth to some alien hybrid, are we? Just like in episode 49 of _Space Passage_?"

She groaned audibly. "Focus, Ron. Human? Definitely. But singular? Not quite."

Ron looked perplexed. "Uh, Kim? I'm not sure I understand."

"Well, I have a surprise for you, lover boy. I found this out yesterday, but I wanted to wait until our special evening tonight to tell you."

She paused for effect. "Ron, we're having twins."

After the smelling salts kicked in a few minutes later, Ron finally came to. Kim was looking down at him in concern. But this time he had a wide grin on his face.

"Wow, Kim. I just had the weirdest, most wonderful dream. I dreamt that we were out to dinner celebrating our anniversary, and then you told me we… we were having _twins_."

She smiled tenderly back at him, gently caressing his face. "That was no dream Ron. That really happened."

"Wonderful," he mumbled as he passed out once again, a goofy grin still plastered on his happy face.

Another few minutes passed, and once Ron had totally recovered, they finally proceeded to the door, thanking the manager for his wonderful hospitality.

"Wow, Kim. This has been an anniversary to remember, for sure."

"Yup," Kim agreed. "Nice and quiet, with no emergencies whatsoever. Wade sure earned his pay tonight."

"And I can't wait to see what excitement's in store for us next. But whatever it is, I know we'll face it together."

And hand in hand, they left the restaurant… and into the biggest media circus since their return from space, news reporters clamoring for their attention.

Kim growled, "Oh, just_ great_. Here we go again…"

"_Mr. Stoppable, how were you able to stop the reincarnated Monkey Fist at such a distance? Eyewitnesses only reported a bright blue glow as he was instantly turned back to stone…"_

"_Miss Possible! Did you have any idea that Adrena Lynn had been released from prison? And if so, what were your plans to recapture her?"_

"_Ronald! Were you able to telepathically communicate with those giant bedbugs, causing them to spontaneously combust and thus singlehandedly saving Middleton once again?"_

Angrily shaking both fists at the sky, Kim yelled out, "Wade! YOU GOT SOME SPLAININ' TO DO!"

* * *

_Next time, altRon becomes a sophomore football star as he attempts to woo fair Kim, but ends up gaining much more than expected. Update in two weeks… _

_**TBC...**_


	7. Upset Cheerleader

_Happy 4th of July to all, and welcome to the next installment of my AU cautionary tale, where the altRon finally takes the bull by the horns, so to speak, and in more than one way. Like last time, plenty of action and romance, but now in the AU. But what will the final result be? Well, what are you waiting for? _

_But first, my thanks to last chapter's reviewers: Jimmy1201, Sentinel103, Eddy13 (who's just posted a rather touching KP wedding fic), Bookworm Gal, ajw1970, CajunBear73, EchidnaPower, Joyce LaKee (who's just posted a very entertaining Drakken/Shego engagement fic), Tito Mosquito, and Ivory Regan._

_So __choose your favorite beverage, sit back and relax. This one's on me..._

* * *

_**Upset Cheerleader**_

* * *

_**I.**_

"No guts, no glory, Rufus."

Ron's now superintelligent naked mole rat merely wagged his head in disbelief.

"_Once again, I'd advise against it. The fate of the world may rest upon the events of this evening."_

Ron scratched his chin. "Now, we _are_ talking about the same thing, aren't we?"

Rufus gave a rare roll of his eyes. _"Yes, Ron. But the football game is in the bag. Just as long as you don't try to win it single-handedly at 300-0."_

"No problemo, my friend. I'll give them, say, a fighting chance?"

"_Riiiight. Like Germany gave Poland a fighting chance in 1939."_

"Nah, I'm taking about…" He exhaled a deeply romantic sigh. "Kim…"

"_Precisely. But is the destiny of the world worth your affections for Kim Possible?"_

"It might be, Rufus, little buddy. It might be…"

* * *

_**II. **_

An hour later, Ron was at the high school suited up and ready to go. Ron rubbed his hands together in nervous anticipation. "Well, Kim, this is the big night. Our first game of the season, and my first as the team's quarterback. Boy, I'm looking forward to tossing around that old pig hide!"

Kim snickered, "I think you mean pig_skin_, Ron. But I'm really happy for you. I've been watching you out on the field, and I think you're going to do real well tonight."

He danced his eyebrows. "Ooh, so you've been watching me, huh?"

She sighed, "Yeah, and watching all the _other_ cheerleaders watch you, too."

Kim added with a growl, "Especially Bonnie."

Ron waved a dismissive hand. "Yeah, but she's such a snarky tart. So not my type, Kim."

Kim grinned back, "Well, then, what _is_ your type, exactly?"

With a twinkle in his eye, he gave her a mischievous smile. "How about we talk about that afterwards? Say, at Bueno Nacho, about 10-ish? I know we have a game, but it's still Ron night, right?"

She carefully replied, "Sure, Ron. But if we win, aren't you going to want to celebrate with your posse?"

He looked at her askance. "What, you mean with the other cheerleaders?"

"Sure! I hear Tara has the biggest crush on you."

He replied offhandedly, "Yeah, so I've heard. Well, it's time. And good luck with all of your cheer routines. You really inspire our team to do our best. And I mean it."

"Thanks, Ron. So break a leg, okay?"

He gave Kim a smile of thanks and a smart salute in reply as he joined the rest of his teammates. But he secretly hoped that the real victory of the evening would be off the field.

Kim wagged her head in wonder. "Wow. I would have bet the money from a year a babysitting jobs that Ron would be going absolutely ape over all the attention he's been getting from the cheer squad, not to mention anyone else of the female persuasion."

As she continued to muse over the possible reason, she felt a tinge of… what? Was it merely discomfort, or was it actual fear? She certainly didn't disapprove, but if the reason was actually… She wasn't ready to face that possibility yet, and shook her head to clear it, giving herself a little pep talk.

"Kim, you're the girl who can do anything, and that includes figuring out Ron…"

* * *

_**III.**_

The whistle blew on the football field. Ron Stoppable, quarterback, and the rest of the Middleton Mad Dogs proudly entered the football field for their first game of the season.

The announcer excitedly declared, "It's a beautiful night for Middleton's first game of the season against the Lowerton Lemurs. And there's been quite a buzz about our new quarterback, Ron Steppable."

The co-announcer quickly whispered in his ear.

"Ooh, sorry, that's _Stoppable_. But don't let _that_ name fool you! From what I've heard, this guy's anything _but_ stoppable, having replaced Middleton's legendary Brick Flag after five seasons."

The co-announcer again whispered in his ear.

"And after actually seven years in high school, to boot! Ironically, it was Stoppable _himself_ that gave the Brickster the necessary tutorage that allowed him to graduate, at least according to the rumors. So our newbie has some pretty big pants to fill, literally and figuratively…"

The Middleton High cheer squad was excited as well, and began with the routine that had just won them the latest regional competition. To the furious pounding of drums and other percussion, they flawlessly executed their incredible routine, ending with an energetic, "_Goooooo Mad Dogs_!"

Even Bonnie was giving her legendary 130%, in spite of having been suspended for a week by Coach Barkin after clobbering Ron only a few weeks before.

But one particular cheerleader wasn't quite as happy as she ought to be under the circumstances. And sadly, it was the squad captain herself, Kim Possible.

Earlier that day, she had confided in her closest female friend, Monique.

"Monique, is it only me, or does something seem wrong about all this?"

The dark-skinned teen looked down at her lunch with a disgusted look, stirring the grayish plate of what appeared to be some kind of noodley glop in front of her.

"You said it, Kim. Mystery meat is one thing, but this stuff gives new meaning to the word _unrecognizable_."

Kim let out a dry chuckle. "Yeah, this stuff is so the drama, but I was really talking about, uh, Ron?"

"What, about him being the new quarterback? Surprising, yes. Make that incredibly, _unbelievably_ surprising. But wrong? No way, girl! That boy's finally stepped up and gotten his act together! And tonight he gets to prove it to the world."

Kim frowned, "Yeah, and don't get me wrong, I'm really happy for him, and for the team. But I keep getting this weird feeling that this isn't supposed to be happening."

Shoveling another forkful of gooey pasta into her mouth, Monique chided, "Girl, you should be _happy_ for him instead of second guessing whatever the reason is behind it."

Kim looked listlessly down at her half-finished salad. "Yeah, maybe you're right. But come to think of it, the feeling I'm getting isn't so much it's not supposed to be happening at all, but that it's not supposed to be happening _yet_."

Monique cocked a curious eyebrow at the blonde cheerleader. "Say _what?_ Not happening yet, as in it's supposed to happen sometime in the _future?_ Girl, did you get dumped on your head in cheer practice or somethin'? Cuz you ain't makin' _no_ sense."

"Yeah, I know, but I just can't shake it. And now the way the rest of the cheer squad is looking at him and talking about him, _especially_ Bonnie…"

Monique grinned back with a look that said she had it all figured out. "Kim, it sounds to me like you've got a real bad case of jellin.' Ron Stoppable has been your best bud for years, but now that he's stepped up, he's attracting all the ladies. _Especially_ the ones on your own cheer squad."

A brief look of anger passed over Kim's face. "You think I haven't noticed, Monique?"

She continued a bit more calmly, "But the real funny thing is, it hasn't gone to his head, at least not yet. And he actually seems to be paying _more_ attention to me than ever before, in spite of his cheer squad posse. Which is kinda weird, since we're really, well, just friends."

Monique gave her a sly look. "_Just_ friends? Girl, I know you two a lot better than you think. I think that Ron has a little crush on a certain cheer squad captain, but he doesn't want to be too obvious about it. And he's going out of his way to be considerate of your feelings, which, heh, makes it _totally _obvious!"

Kim suddenly realized that this was at the root of her concern. "And that's exactly what scares me."

Monique looked stunned. "_Scares_ you? Kim, you face bad guys and supervillains on an almost weekly basis, and _Ron scares you_?"

She replied with a self-conscious little giggle. "Well, maybe _scare_ isn't really the operative word here. More like, concerned, maybe? But he does seem to be going out of his way _not_ to freak me out by doing anything, y'know, overt?"

"Like asking you out on a date?"

"Yeah, exactly."

"Well, why don't you ask _him_ out?" She added with a smirk, "This _is_ the 21st century, you know."

Kim instantly paled. "You mean a _real _date? And not just 'Ron night' at the local Bueno Nacho? Sorry, Monique, but I'm not exactly comfortable with that right now. Maybe some other time."

With a roll of her eyes, Monique griped, "Oh, _I_ see. Just gonna wait for some other hottie to snatch him up, and solve your little problem for you?"

Kim tersely replied, "It's not that at all, Monique, and you know it."

Monique smiled sweetly back at Kim as she replied in a singsong voice, "Dee-_NIGH_-al!"

This only infuriated Kim more. "So _not _the denial, Monique! It's just that I've always thought of Ron not so much as a boy, but just as, you know… _Ron_."

She sneered back, "And therefore, _not_ dating material?"

Kim prevaricated, "Well, uh, not so much. But in my defense, I've never really given it a lot of thought, at least until now."

"What, dating? Or Ron? Or dating… Ron?"

"Both. Neither. I don't know, Monique! Now I'm really getting confused."

"But you _are _thinking about it, right? Kim, you're the captain of the cheer squad, and he's now the captain of the football team _and _its star quarterback!"

With a gentle wag of her head, Kim smiled wanly back at her friend. "Which I never would have believed unless I had seen it with my own eyes."

Monique shrugged, "Hmph. I'm with you on _that_, Kim. But it's true. And it's like, well, an unwritten rule that you two should be dating!"

Kim growled back, "Now you're beginning to sound just like Bonnie."

"Who might just step in and snatch the prize, if you're not careful."

Kim was still hesitant. "But I really don't consider Ron a 'prize.' He's my best friend, Monique! But maybe you're right. Maybe dating would be next logical step, as long as it didn't interfere with our friendship or our missions."

Monique exclaimed, "Friendship? Missions? Girl, we're talking high school romance here, and you're making it sound like a math problem!"

Kim fastidiously replied, "Actually, it's a matter of priorities. And dating _anybody_ has to take second place to schoolwork and fighting bad guys. I may be the girl who can do anything, but I can't do _everything_. I've got to know my limitations."

Her friend tsked back, "Now you're sounding just like Clint Westwood. _And_ making excuses on top of it."

She answered defensively, "It's not an excuse to be careful, Monique. I just don't want to make a snap decision based on what other people think I should be doing. Peer pressure can blow up in your face if you're not careful. And what if the new relationship didn't work out? I could lose him as a friend, too…""

Monique gave her an intense look. "But if you don't do _anything_, that can be _just_ as big a mistake, Kim."

Kim sighed, "Yeah, you're absolutely right. But really deep down, I just can't shake this weird feeling that this whole sitch shouldn't even be happening _at all_. Well, not yet at least."

Monique wagged her head in disbelief. "So you're thinking that you can decide sometime in the future when every I is dotted and every T crossed? Uh, uh. Ain't gonna happen. So my advice, Kim? Carpe diem. Strike while the iron's hot. Tomorrow may be too late."

Kim was silent for a moment. "Well, I do have to admit that Ron seems _tons_ more focused than this past summer. Or _ever_, for that matter. It's… it's like he's a totally different person, somehow."

Monique gave a dismissive wave of her hand. "Girl, he's just growing up and getting his act together. You should be happy for him. And besides, love makes people do some strange things sometimes."

She hooded her eyes and added with a purr, "So you should take full _ad-van-tage_ of it."

After choking down the last of her mystery noodles, Kim's friend left the table, leaving her lost in her own thoughts.

* * *

_**IV. **_

Back in the present, Kim was again distracted. Bonnie flailed her arms and complained, "Kim, mind in the game, please? It's time for the kickoff!"

"Oh, _heh-heh_, sorry, Bonnie." As they prepared for their next routine, the Middleton Mad Dogs were in a huddle, Ron giving them all a final pep talk.

"Okay, team. Just like we rehearsed." They gave him an odd look. "Uh, make that, _practiced_?"

They broke the huddle and assumed their positions to receive the initial kickoff. At the far end of the field, Ron closed his eyes in concentration, subtly activating his Mystical Monkey Power. He smiled as he recalled placing the idea in Coach Barkin's mind to change their team's colors from purple to a bright blue, as well as installing new floodlights with a bluish tinge, thus helping to camouflage any errant use of his supernatural powers.

The ball was kicked, sailing into Ron's waiting hands as if by magic. As he began charging down the field, the cheer squad likewise shifted their routine into high gear.

"_Gooooo Mad Dogs! Gooooo Stoppable!_"

Easily avoiding the opposing team's best efforts to tackle him, Ron swept into the end zone for a touchdown, followed a minute later by a two-point conversion. The announcer was ecstatic.

"Wow! We're barely two minutes into the game, and the Mad Dogs have already scored and now lead 8 to nothing! This is totally amazing, folks! If the Mad Dogs keep this up, this should be one exciting game!"

The announcer's observation was no less than prophetic as the Middleton Mad Dogs proceeded to totally dominate their opponents.

"And there's the snap. The new Mad Dog quarterback is carefully assessing the situation and searching for an opening… he throws… and… _yes!_ That's another 40 yard completion, and… _another touchdown!_"

The Lowerton Lemurs continued to reel from the Middleton Mad Dogs onslaught, ably led by Ron Stoppable. "Now the Lemurs have the ball. It's snapped, and there's the throw, and… wait! _Stoppable intercepts!_ He's at the 40… the 30… the 20… and… TOUCHDOWN! STOPPABLE DOES IT AGAIN!"

As the crowd continued to cheer wildly, Kim and the other cheerleaders looked on in amazement.

Bonnie giggled, "Wow, Kim. I still think Stoppable looks like a sick chicken when he's running down the field, but he's winning this game all by himself!"

Kim was likewise pleased, but couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive over Ron's uncharacteristically amazing performance, and especially over Bonnie's uncharacteristic attraction to her best friend.

"Wow! He sure is… um, uh... yeah! Go, Mad Dogs! And go, Ron!"

As Bonnie continued to witness the Ronster's amazing performance, her mind began to wander, imagining what she'd like to be doing with him after the game.

"_Mmmm. You may have been a loser before, Stoppable, but you're right at the top of the food chain now. Right next to your Bon-Bon. So goodbye Brick, and helloooo Ron…"_

As she licked her lips in anticipation, Ron would have been extremely distracted from his game had he been picking up on Bonnie's current rather lascivious thoughts. But at that moment Ron was surreptitiously eavesdropping on the Lemur's huddle, whose own quarterback was _not_ happy.

He hissed through clenched teeth, "All right, this Stoppable dude is making us look like total fools. Three touchdowns in the first quarter, and we can hardly even hold on to the ball! So we've got to take him out of this game _completely_ before it becomes a total rout. Do _whatever_ it takes. Everyone got it? Stoppable is _toast_."

Everybody nodded in agreement as they broke from their huddle. Ron smiled grimly in the foreknowledge of what the Lemurs were about to attempt.

He thought to himself with a smirk, "_Ooh, real bad decision there, guys. And I have the bon-diggity feeling that you're all going to regret it real soon. Note… serious… face_."

As the lines were formed, the announcer came back on. "It's the first and ten in Lowerton territory… the ball is snapped… _and it's a blitz!_"

Suddenly, the Lemurs broke through the Middleton defensive linemen, rushing fiercely toward Ron with murder in their eyes. Kim and the rest of the cheer squad held their breath in fearful anticipation of the impending impact. But wearing a faint smile, the redheaded quarterback firmly stood his ground, apparently unfazed by the oncoming tidal wave of linebackers. In an instant, nine huge players had smothered Ron in a crushing dog pile. Kim and Bonnie gasped, reflexively holding on to the other, fearful of Ron's fate.

The announcer warned, "Uh-oh! Looks like Stoppable has been sacked, and how! Better call for the medic, and quick!"

But now hidden from the spectator's view, Ron used a burst of his Mystical Monkey Power to repel his attackers. All of a sudden, players amazingly began flying through the air as Ron almost effortlessly broke out of the crushing pileup. The crowd broke into an uproarious cheer at the incredible feat.

The announcer suddenly exclaimed, "Holy cheese and crackers, he's okay! And not only that, he's still standing! _And running!"_

Kim stared in disbelief as Ron tore down the field, the Lemurs in hot pursuit.

As Coach Barkin looked on with incredulity, Kim and Bonnie began to chant, "Go, Ron! Go, Ron!"

Tara and Hope immediately joined in, quickly followed by the other cheerleaders, Crystal, Liz, Jessica, and Marcella. Soon, the entire stadium was chanting right along with them. All except the Lemur's cheer squad, who were now packing up their stuff to leave, even though the game wasn't even half over, much to the Lemur's chagrin.

As Ron once again victoriously entered the end zone, the announcer yelled at the top of his lungs, "It's another touchdown! _Ladies and Gentlemen, Stoppable is ABSOLUTELY UNSTOPPABLE!"_

The second half was almost an anticlimax as the Middleton Mad Dogs continued to thoroughly trounce the Lowerton Lemurs. And once he discovered that he had been personally singled out for destruction by the opposing team, Ron felt no compunction in subtly using his powers to cause the Lemurs to continually trip over themselves or fumble the ball for the rest of the game.

As the main announcer had finally yelled himself hoarse, the co-announcer had to finish as the commentator. "And there's the final buzzer ending the game. Final score in this incredible record-setting blowout: Middleton Mad Dogs 112-0 over the Lowerton Lemurs! Ladies and gentlemen, Middleton has a new hero, and his name is Ron Stoppable!"

Coach Barkin could barely control his excitement, but managed to stay cool as he addressed the hero of the hour. "Not bad for a first game, Stoppable. That was some shellacking you gave the Lemurs. And it _almost_ makes up for that look you gave me in the ninth grade."

Ron smiled back sheepishly as he uttered a contrite, "Booyah!"

Barkin however continued with a condescending sneer, "But that's _still _pretty far from the _all-time_ high school record of 256-0."

Laughing nervously, Ron responded, "Well, it was only our first game, Mr. B. And by the way, that record has stood since, what? 1927? But I promise we'll do better the next time."

As the cheer squad ran up to congratulate Ron, Kim breathlessly said, "He did it. He really did it!"

Bonnie agreed. "Yeah, I know! That was unbelievable!"

Kim still had a few reservations however, and mumbled back, "Yeah, a little _too _unbelievable, if you ask me."

But Bonnie laughed it off, saying, "I guess all that running away from bad guys finally paid off, huh?"

Not quite convinced, she intoned, "Yeah, but it is kinda weird, isn't it?"

Aggressively reaching Ron first, Bonnie leapt into his arms, wrapping her own arms and legs tightly around the surprised sports hero. Before he knew what was happening, she followed up with an intensely passionate kiss, which lasted only several seconds in reality, but an eternity for Kim.

Finally breaking the smooch, Bonnie purred in Ron's ear, "Congratulations, lover boy. You've just stepped up right to the top. So how would you like to come by my place later and… _celebrate?"_ She gave a playful nip of his earlobe. "And since everyone _else_ at home is gone for the weekend, we'll have the place to ourselves. Oh, and don't bother to shower. I'd like to see you glisten, just the way Brick used to."

His face turning a bright red, Ron quickly extricated himself from her smothering embrace. "Uh, thanks, Bonnie, but I have kind of a prior engagement…"

He smiled inwardly. _And make that literally, please and thank you._

But he stopped short as he took one look at Kim, who was staring at them both with a look of furious anger that he had rarely, if ever, seen on her face before.

As Ron's mouth hung open in embarrassment, Kim angrily growled, "Marking your territory, B?"

Bonnie turned to Kim with an unrepentant smile and taunted, "Oh, did _you_ want to say something to my hero too, K?"

Clenching her fists, the blonde spat back, "Yeah, and I have some choice words for you _too_, Bonnie! But _I_ may not be able to stop at just words, _slut face!"_

Ron could tell from her body language that Kim was about to attack. And if she did, Bonnie had better pray that her medical insurance was paid up to date, and maybe her life insurance as well. Fortunately, fate gracefully intervened as several teammates suddenly dumped a huge cooler of Gator-Aid on the hero, splashing all over him but drenching Bonnie as well.

She instantly screamed, "Ooh! You _idiots!_ Do you have any idea how much it costs to dry clean this uniform? Now I've got to get out of these sticky clothes right now!" Her hair now plastered to her head, she stomped off to change, as the rest of the cheer squad tittered with pleasure.

Ron lifted his eyes in thanks to the powers that be, relieved that the potentially explosive confrontation had been averted. Furthermore, he hardly noticed the rest of the cheer squad and his teammates swooning over him and congratulating him, having eyes for only one person: Kim Possible. But before he had a chance to say a single word, he was lifted up on the shoulders of his teammates and triumphantly carried off the field.

But even as he was whisked away, he cried out, "KP! Bueno Nacho at 10! Just you and me!"

He added with a pantomime that he would call her.

Kim's heart caught in her throat, touched that in spite of all his own accolades, he had still singled her out.

"Oh, man. What's gotten into me? I'm not ready to turn into a crushing sheep…"

* * *

_**V. **_

Kim had decided to go home and change first. On a whim she called her dad, who was still at the lab.

"Dad, could I talk to you? I have kind of a, well, a problem."

He immediately recognized not only the tone of her voice, but also what her problem was undoubtedly about.

"Ooh, ah, Kimmie-cub? I think boy trouble is more your mother's department, isn't it?"

"Well, good news. This isn't about a boy, it's about Ron."

Relieved, he muttered, "Oh, well, that's different."

"So anyway, Ron has really stepped up his game, literally. He won the football game tonight, single handed. But I never thought he had it in him to do something so ferociously athletic before."

James chuckled, "Well, maybe he's been eating his Wheaty-Oh's. Builds strong bodies, uh, any number of ways."

"Yeah, but now the rest of the cheer squad is going bananas over him, especially Bonnie. And I'm, uh, not sure if I should be too. He's always been more than just a friend, but I'm not sure I want to cross the line yet."

"And what line is that?"

"The _date_ line, Dad."

"Hmm. Are we talking the International Date Line, or zero degrees Greenwich Mean?"

Kim placed her head in both hands at her father's cluelessness. "No, Dad, _dating_. As in, dating Ron?"

Now sounding quite abashed, James mumbled, "Oops. Like I said, that's your mother's area of expertise. See previous."

"But I'd really like to get your insight on…"

"CSHHHK! Sorry Kim, the line seems to be… KRSHHH! …breaking up…"

Click.

Kim sighed heavily. "Wow, that actually sounds like something that Ron would do. Maybe _all_ men are like that? Oh, well. Time to call Mom, I guess."

But the line remained unanswered, going immediately to voicemail.

"Rats. Another emergency brain surgery, no doubt."

As she dejectedly hung up the phone, she resolved to face her newest challenge on her own. "Well, time to tough this one out by myself. But somehow I'd rather be facing Drakken, Dementor, _and_ Monkey Fist, rather than be facing what might be coming up…"

* * *

_**VI.**_

With all the hoopla finally over, Kim and Ron were finally able to relax for a bite to eat at the local Bueno Nacho.

"Well, what did you think, KP?"

Kim simply shook her head in amazement. "Ron, what can I say? I'm nearly speechless. But I can say one thing for sure: I'm so proud of you, Ron. I never knew you had this in you. Ever."

Ron reflexively scratched the back of his neck. "Thanks, KP. That means a lot, coming from you. Heh… and like you, I'm just full of surprises! Heh-heh, yeah…"

Kim toyed with the remains of her salad. "But you know what impressed me the most tonight?"

He self-consciously babbled, "Uh, yeah! Who knew my mad running away skills would have real world applications?"

In spite of herself, she had to chuckle. "Not quite. You do me proud, Ron Stoppable, by just being you."

Ron seemed to melt into his seat at that observation. "Really? And you're not being sarcastic, like, say, Bonnie would?"

Kim gently smiled back at him. "No. Not at all. And I'm glad you brought Bonnie up."

Ron looked immediately apprehensive. "Uh, really, KP?"

"Yes. Because of your innocence, and purity of heart. Especially in comparison to…"

She had to immediately suppress a gag reflex. "Bon-Bon…"

Ron merely offered a shrug in response. "Well, you know, in her own way, she's more evil than any supervillain, KP. Maybe not in a take-over-the-world kind of way, but definitely in a high school sort of way."

This elicited the first warm smile of the evening from Kim. "Ron, you've changed. Not only have you resisted the…" Her hurl factor was rapidly approaching its limit. "…_charms_ of sweet Bon-Bon, but ever since the start of the school year, you seem less goofy, and more, well, ferociously focused. Even our missions seem to have gone a lot more smoothly, in no small part due to you."

She fixed him with a curious stare. "So that begs the question: what's the sitch?"

Ron hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should come totally clean at this time. _No, not just yet_…

"Well, I guess I've just tried to step up and get my act together." _Which is no lie_… "I know we've been really tight as friends since pre-K, but things are different now that we're, uh…"

He stopped short before accidentally saying, _married_. "Now that we're sophomores. I really want to earn your respect, KP. After years of being a goof-off, I've realized there are much more important things that I need to be doing." _Like save the world, and our very lives_…

Kim nodded, "Yeah, that's what Monique said at lunch."

Ron raised one eyebrow. "Oh, so you've been discussing me with Monique, huh?"

"Yeah. And she thinks a certain someone is crushing on a certain cheer captain."

Blushing slightly, one corner of his mouth turned up. "Ooh, guilty as charged..."

"And don't think I haven't caught you giving me the once over during some of our missions. Which brings up another point. These days, you seem to have this sixth sense about danger approaching, and have outthought and outfought _any_ bad guys we've come up against over the past few months."

Hope rising, he tried to answer as evenly as possible. "Just watching your back, KP."

Her visage softened at that remark. "Thanks, Ron. Really. And all of this does mean a lot to me. Plus, you seem to have matured a few years, almost overnight. But that game tonight? That was almost scary to the max the way you blew away the Lemurs, and nearly all by yourself."

Ron folded his hands and looked down at the table, praying for the right words to say. "Kim, we've known each other for a long time, and we've really grown to know each other pretty well, and become best friends. And because of, or maybe even in spite of, our individual strengths and weaknesses. And all this time, your incredible focus and your fantastic crime fighting skills have inspired me. But what's _really_ amazing to me is that you've never let it go to your head. You've always been absolutely sure of yourself without becoming overconfident or cocky. And I respect that more than you can possibly know, Kim. And that's one reason we're… we're such close friends."

He then heard a tiny voice in his mind, barely perceptible, but absolutely clear. _"Don't waffle… don't give up… you're very close…"_

Kim smiled back, "Thanks, Ron. And I appreciate the fact that you've always had my back, and had my best interests at heart. And as goofy as you've been in the past, I've always considered you my best friend."

In the back of his mind, though, he heard an unspoken 'but.' _But we're only just friends…_

He looked up at her with a gaze that was part intense, part pleading. "But will we always be, well, just friends? Or is there something more? Over the past few months, I've grown more convinced that there is. And I suspect that maybe, just _maybe_, you might feel the same way?"

Kim was rendered speechless at that insight, keeping her sudden feelings under a frozen mask of control.

He carefully continued, "So that means that someone has to be the first to, uh, break the ice, I guess. And I guess that means… me."

Something immediately broke inside Kim. She instantly realized that as brave, as focused, and as totally Type A she was in contrast to his easy-going laid-back Type B personality, that it was now Ron who was making the first fearful, tentative step toward what could be the next level in their relationship.

Kim let out a tiny whoosh and looked down at the table herself. She dared not look up into those deep brown eyes, for fear of what she might now say or do. But she knew deep in her heart that he was absolutely, positively, irrevocably correct.

She thought to herself, _"I'm the girl who can do anything. So why can't admit that I'm feeling the same way?" _

Monique's words from earlier that day sprang back unbidden into her mind. _"Strike while the iron's hot. Tomorrow may be too late..." _

Not wanting to eavesdrop on her thoughts, Ron patiently waited for a response, holding his breath in anticipation. But then, when he had nearly given up, Kim looked up at him. Not with a lustful glance of desire like Bonnie would have, but with a tender, almost fragile look of hopefulness. She imperceptibly moved her head a fraction of an inch toward him.

Ron leaned over the table, hesitating for just a moment. But Kim did not pull back, closing her eyes in anticipation of their very first kiss. As their lips touched, it was as if an electric current shot through each of their bodies. At the edge of Ron's mind, he thought that he might have accidentally activated his Mystical Monkey Power, but a quick check showed that he was still his normal pink-skinned self.

For a moment, their kiss continued even more urgently, but Kim suddenly broke it off, bringing one hand up to her mouth with a confused look on her face.

Concerned, Ron reached out and gently placed his hand over her other hand. "Kim, is something wrong?"

Kim looked stunned for a moment. "No… well, yes, kind of. That… that kiss seemed so right, and yet so wrong at the same time."

Ron looked perplexed. "What do you mean, KP?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, the kiss _itself _was, well, just spankin." Her breath caught as a dreamy look came over her face. "Make that _ferociously _spankin.' But the timing… it seems, well, it just seems… _wrong_ somehow…"

Ron gave her a warm smile and hooded his eyes ever so slightly, trying to alleviate her doubts. "Well, it seemed perfectly badical to _me_."

He breathed a little sigh as he recalled the previous timeline, in which Kim had bitterly complained that it had taken him twelve stinkin' years to kiss her.

"_And now I'm two years early, and my timing is STILL off_…"

But even as she basked in the warm afterglow of that kiss, she couldn't shake the strange feeling. "It's like, I'm about to take my big final in geometry, and I'm totally and completely prepared for it, but I've shown up for it, well, a day early. No, make that a _month_. Does that make any sense?"

He mumbled under his breath, "Actually, more than you can possibly know."

Suddenly, a tiny mole rat mind touched his. "_Take it slow… don't push it_…"

Taking a deep breath, Ron calmly rose from the table. "Let's go home, Kim. It's been a really fantastic day, but I can tell we're both totally exhausted, and we've left each other with a lot to think about. So let's just enjoy the moment, and get together tomorrow after we've both had a good night's sleep."

Kim relaxed, smiling back at him. He gently took her hand and led her out of the restaurant. Suddenly she stopped, softly placing a finger on his lips.

"Now, you're not the type of boy to kiss and tell, are you?"

He looked up into the air and gently chided, "Hey, I'm no longer just Ron, I'm a _boy_ now…"

She couldn't help but blush at his observation. "Yes. Yes, you are, Ron." She frowned slightly as she continued, "But don't change the subject, please and thank you?"

He confidently smiled back, "Got it, KP. And the answer is, no way. In another time and another place, I might have been tempted to give in to big-headiness and brag about it, but not any more."

_Oops._

"Uh, better make that, not _now_, as in our _current_ time reference, and…"

Another tiny mole rat thought brushed his mind. _"Focus, focus…"_

Now it was Kim's turn to look a bit perplexed. But her face hardened a bit as she continued, "So, you're not going to tell Bonnie? Maybe in person, and maybe later tonight perhaps, over at her place?"

Ron looked perfectly stunned. "_Absolutely_ no way, Kim! Bon-Bon may like to climb all over me like a cheap suit, but I've already made it clear to her I'm _not_ interested in her, now or ever. And where would you get an idea like that anyway?"

Kim quietly snarked, "Uh, try when she was grinding up against you after the game and inviting you over to spend the night?"

Ron gave a gentle roll of his eyes as he wagged his head. "Yeah, I _thought_ she whispered that kinda loud. And you _did_ hear my answer, that I had a previous engagement, which is the bon-diggity one we're enjoying right now?"

Kim began to relax ever so slightly.

"But seriously, I think she was just jerking your chain in her oh-so-obviously competitive way of hers. She really _wanted_ you to hear that, and, by the way, no matter _what_ my response might have been, just so she could get your goat and turn you into a green eyed jellin' monster."

He smiled as he took Kim gently into his arms, softly caressing her beautiful face. "But it backfired on the little tramp, didn't it?"

As Kim gazed deep into his chocolate brown eyes, she began to melt again inside. "Yeah, it kinda did."

He drew her into another tender kiss, this one even deeper and longer than the first. As he did, he recalled a similar kiss from his past which he hoped to relive sometime in the future: their first kiss as husband and wife. That was however still quite a ways away, but tonight was at least a very pleasant first step.

Finally releasing her, he suggested, "Hey, I've got an idea. _I'm_ not one to kiss and tell, but I'm not holding _you_ to that. And maybe if you gave Bon-Bon a call tonight, you could sorta let it slip that we, uh, kinda…"

Kim giggled mischievously. "Ronald Stoppable, you are _evil_. And I think some of those villains we've been fighting lately have rubbed off on you just a little."

He smirked back, "Oh, so you _like_ the bad boys, huh?"

She offered a little shrug in response. "Not much, but a little. And I think you've just struck the right balance."

And with that, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"G'night, Ron. See you tomorrow."

As she left for home, Kim left a goofily smiling and ecstatically happy Ron Stoppable walking seemingly on air back to his moped.

"Pinch me, Rufus, I must be dreaming…"

Ron immediately felt a sharp pain in his behind. "Ow! Rufus, what the heck?"

He immediately heard the snicker of a naked mole rat, as Rufus popped out of the side pocket of his cargo pants. _"Surprise!"_

"You little scamp! You've been there all along, haven't you?"

"_Of course! I just wanted to make sure you didn't make an absolute fool of yourself like you have in the past. Besides, I got kind of a vicarious thrill out of watching you two do your little dance around all these emotional issues."_

Ron clucked his tongue. "My own pet, a little spy. What's this world coming to…"

* * *

_**VII.**_

In his secret lair located in Bavaria, Professor Dementor made a few final adjustments and cackled softly to himself, fondly patting his latest invention.

"For too long, Kim Possible has been the thorn in the side, but no longer! With my newest device, the Transportulator, I vill simply call her up on the phone, and she will be converted into pure electrical energy and transported directly to my lair. I vill then torture her mercilessly mit hours of my favorite yodeling recordings, on a loop no less, until her brain is the consistency of warmed-over oatmeal! She vill then pose _no_ further threat to my quest for _verld domination_!"

He gave the Transportulator another tender rub. "Yes, I have had zis idea for a long time now, but only mit the extraordinary funds provided through that financial grant from that dear Senior fellow, have I been able to fully develop this invention. Without that money, it would have taken me _years_ to perfect. But now, _victory is within my grasp!_ _Ha-ha-ha-hah!_ But first, I need her telephone number."

He picked up the phone. "Hello, International Directory Assistance? I vould like the number of Miss Kim Possible in Middleton, Colorado, in the USA."

But as soon as the operator began to respond, Dementor's face began to grow ever redder with anger. "VAT!? Fifty dollars for this so-called _directory assistance_!? I vill not pay such highway robbery! Good day to you!"

And with that, he furiously slammed the phone down, mumbling, "Ach, highway robbery. There ought to be a law…"

After a heavy sigh he continued, "But now how to locate Kim Possible's telephone number?"

He snapped his fingers as a possible solution suddenly sprang to mind. "Ah! I have the idea!"

Quickly walking over to his computer, he typed in 'Kim Possible dot com.' In another moment, he had retrieved the greatly desired number.

"Perfect! Und now I make the person to person call with which I shall snag that blonde busybody, _and deal with her once and for all!_ _HA-HA-HA-HAH!"_

He scratched his chin in thought. "Now, should I use my red villain light, or would that just be overkill?"

* * *

_**VIII.**_

As she walked through her front door, Kim felt as if she were walking on a cloud of gossamer. She quietly closed the door and blissfully leaned back against it.

"Wow. Who would have ever thought that Ron could be such a good kisser? This is a whole new side to Ron that I never even knew existed. And when he said that he was full of surprises, he wasn't just kidding around. He said _all_ the right things tonight, in just the right way, and at just the right time."

A troubling thought then entered her mind. "But maybe just a little _too _right…"

She recalled a recent episode of _Captain Constellation_ that her father was all agog about, where an alien entity had taken over a crewman's body, subtly seducing the female security chief and gaining access to the starship's controls. Only through the concerted efforts of the Captain and his Chief Medical Officer was the ruse discovered and the ship saved once again. However, she had never been more thankful to hear her father proclaim that irritating tag line, _"Missiles Are Go!"_ which meant she could now watch the newest episode of _Agony County_ in peace.

As she perused that line of thought, Jim and Tim bounded down the stairs. "Wow! Cool game, Kim!"

Tim added, "And those totally wicked plays Ron made? Frankly, I didn't think he even _had_ that kind of stuff."

Kim lowered her eyebrows in displeasure. "Hey, Tweebs. Ron did a great job, just like he always has. And besides, how would _you_ two know about the game?"

Jim gushed, "New super-silent drone we just built. It's got hovering ability…"

"… and it's got a range up to ten miles!" Tim finished.

Jim slyly continued, "Not to mention infra-red technology, suitable for low-light situations outside of certain fast food restaurants, say, like Bueno Nacho about a half hour ago?"

Aghast, Kim's eyes shot wide open in horror. "TWEEBS!"

Scrambling back upstairs as quickly as possible, they slammed their bedroom door right in her face. She began pounding furiously on the door.

"If you Tweebs breathe so much as a _single word_ of that to anyone, _especially_ Mom or Dad, you'll both regret the day that you were born, _even if I earn myself a life sentence in Cell Block C!"_

A piece of paper was quickly slipped under the door. Kim picked it up and began to read it.

"I, the undersigned, hitherto known as Kim Possible, do solemnly swear to be at the beck and call of the signatories below, hitherto known as Jim and Tim Possible, in perpetuity…"

She crushed the paper in her hand and yelled, "_This is blackmail!"_

Jim's muffled voice could be heard through the door. "That's right! And unless you want the whole world to see that juicy kiss you just had with Ron, you'll sign it and slip it back under the door. We'll even make a copy for your records! You have sixty seconds. Tick…tick…tick…"

She angrily responded, "No deal! And I warn you: if you follow through with your threat, I _will_ find you, and I _will_ kill you."

And with that, she stormed to her room and slammed the door behind her, forcing herself to calm down. Whereupon, she began to reconsider bragging to Bonnie about her very first kiss with Ron.

"Hmm. As much as I'd enjoy turning the tables on Little Miss Snark, do I really want to stoop to her level?"

She thought back over the countless times Bonnie had derided either her and/or Ron in an attempt to build herself up, and mercilessly tear them down, along with anyone else that stood in her way. The top of the food chain was a hallowed place to her, and there was nothing she wouldn't stoop to in order to maintain her place in the spotlight of absolute popularity.

Kim snickered as she made her final decision. "Well, you know what they say about _payback_ being. So if the shoe fits… And besides, once the Tweebs put my kiss with Ron on MeTube, everyone and their grandmother is gonna know about it anyway…"

Kim dialed the number and heard it ring twice before someone picked up.

Bonnie answered in a sultry voice, "So, Ronnie, reconsidering my little offer?"

Kim couldn't help but burst out in a fit of laughter.

A very flustered Bonnie babbled, "Hey, wait a minute! Who in the heck _is_ this?"

Wiping her eyes, Kim replied, "Try the captain of your cheer squad, you snarky tramp. Oh, and by the way, _Ronnie_ won't be coming by tonight. He's actually been with me, and I gotta say, he's one _heck _of a kisser."

Nearly beside herself with incredulity, Bonnie yelled, "You mean he's staying with _you_ tonight?!"

Kim chuckled, "No, you loon. I_ do_ have my standards, unlike _some_ cheerleaders I know. By the way, how are those antibiotics working?"

"Oh, just fine. The doctor says I'll… hey, _wait!_ How did _you_ know about that!?"

Kim snickered, "Remember that my mom's on staff at the Middleton Medical Center. She can find out almost _anything_ about _anybody_."

Bonnie began to blush, and nearly hung up out of spite. In retrospect, she would deeply regret not doing so at that very moment. But after a beat of silence, she continued sarcastically, "So, you and Ron are _dating_?"

Kim triumphantly replied, "In a word, yes."

The teal-eyed cheerleader roared with newfound laughter. "Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that's just too rich! Give it up, Kim. You are _so_ far below him now on the food chain that you couldn't _possibly_ be…"

Just then, Kim heard a buzz on her phone. "Hold on, Bonnie. I've got another call."

"Hey, wait a…"

But Kim had already switched over to the new contact. "Hello?"

But the only reply was a soft cackle, followed by a distinctively recognizable voice. And one with a distinctively German accent. "Do you know who this is, Kim Possible?"

Kim gritted her teeth before replying. "It better not be who I _think_ it is, or else I'm tracing this call and sending over Global Justice to throw your sorry butt into jail, Professor Dementor."

"Ha-ha-hah, you are so _funny_, Kim Possible! But it vill actually be the last phone call _you vill ever try to be making!_"

And with that ominous threat, he pushed a button on the Transportulator, instantly activating its diabolical circuitry. In a scintillating flash of light, Kim Possible simply disappeared, her cell phone clattering to the floor. But as it did so, it landed directly on the button reconnecting her previous call.

A very flustered Bonnie griped, "It's about time, Kim! So what's the big idea of putting me on hold and…"

But her tirade was cut off by yet another bright flash, as she too was reduced to her composite atoms and sucked into the telephone wires. Soon, both phones were beeping their ubiquitous warning.

"_If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again... If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again…"_

* * *

_**IX.**_

The phone rang, and a very sleepy Ron answered. "Hello, Kim? *_yawn_* Wow, I was just having the coolest dream about you…"

"Ron, it's Wade."

His friend's deeply serious tone instantly snapped Ron fully awake, now fearful that something extremely serious had happened.

"Wade? What's going on, dude? It's like, what, after midnight?"

But the grief in his friend's voice left little to the imagination. Or perhaps, too much. "Ron, I… I think Kim's been kidnapped."

Ron buried his face into his hands, "Oh, Fuji…"

Rufus could only whimper in dismay, _"I was afraid something like this might happen…"_

* * *

_Oh, snap! Well, the plot thickens a bit, and to the consistency of strudel, no less. So it's Ron to the rescue for both his new girl and her snarky competition__ in this latest cliffie. Stay tuned for the continuation of this bump in the road (with a promise of even bigger bumps to come)_ in two weeks… 

_**TBC…**_


	8. Kim-napped

_After leaving you with that little cliffhanger last time, I dared not wait too long to post this update. But as they say, patience is a virtue, so __first a tip of the hat to all of this week's virtuous reviewers: Sentinel103, Bookworm Gal, CajunBear73, etyberz, Jimmy1201, Eddy13, Joyce LaKee, EchidnaPower, OMAC001 and Tito-Mosquito. And remember, leave a review, and you'll get a reply. So sit back, read on and enjoy..._

* * *

**_Kim-napped_**

* * *

**_I. _**

Ron was aghast with disbelief at the unexpected news. "Wade, this is really wrongsick! But are you _sure_ Kim's been kidnapped? Maybe she just stepped out for a midnight snack or something."

Wade tried to explain. "Sorry, Ron, but it's confirmed. From what I understand from her brothers, they heard what sounded like a huge electrical discharge coming from Kim's room. According to Jim, it was like the time they tried to build their own supercomputer from stock parts, and blew every circuit breaker in the house."

Ron nodded. "Yeah, I remember that. Weren't they grounded a month for that stunt?"

"Exactly. Anyway, once they entered her room, they could detect the pungent smell of ozone from the discharge, and then noticed her burnt-out cell phone on the floor."

Ron nearly fainted at the news. "Omigosh! She's not… not…"

"No, Ron. If she _had_ been vaporized, her phone would have been too. That would have also left a huge scorch mark as well as particulate bioresidue, but fortunately there was neither. And more good news, I have a pretty good idea about what actually happened. As luck would have it, I was able to capture the event using her computer's webcam. Next, I detected an ionization trail that the electrical burst had left behind, which made a clear path directly toward the nearest cell phone tower."

"So you think she's still alive?"

"I'm sure of it, Ron."

Ron exhaled in relief. "Well, weirder things have happened before, so nice sleuthing, Sherlock. I guess this is where I say, '_You rock, Wade_,' since Kim's not here. And this would be so cool, if it weren't for the fact that Kim's gone totally missing now."

Wade assured him, "Yeah, but I also have a pretty good idea where she disappeared to, and I'm sure she's still alive and well, at least for the moment. And, uh, well… so is Bonnie, for that matter."

Rufus raised a curious eyebrow. _"Huh?"_

Ron also looked perplexed. "Bonnie? What's _she_ got to do with any of this?"

"Well, Kim was on her cell phone with Bonnie at the moment Professor Dementor called her."

Ron suddenly felt the room start to spin around him. "What? You mean Professor Dementor's involved in this somehow? But why was he calling Kim? And why was Kim talking with Bonnie at this time of night?"

He began to hyperventilate. "Wait a minute, this must just be some kind of terrible dream, and I'll wake up in just a few more seconds." He grabbed his head and tunelessly began singing, "La, la, la…"

Wade apologized, "Sorry, Ron, but this is really happening. And there's more: I was able to trace the original call back to Professor Dementor's lair in the Bavarian Alps, so there's little doubt that's exactly where Kim and Bonnie are."

Hanging on to the hope that Kim was still okay, Ron tried to reason out this new turn of events. "Well, I can think of any number of reasons why that Teutonic troublemaker would want to kidnap Kim, but why Bonnie? That doesn't make any sense."

"I guess I should just play the whole recording of the phone convo for you. That should pretty much explain everything."

"What, you already have a recording of the phone call, as well as a recording of how she was kidnapped? Next you'll be telling me that you have a tracking chip on Kim, just like you do with me!"

Wade exclaimed, "What? How did _you_ know that I had you chipped? Even _Kim_ doesn't know about that!"

Ron snickered back, "Hey, I've got a few secrets too, y'know."

Wade stumbled, "Well, I don't have _her_ chipped, but I now wish that I did. Anyway, I have the recording all cued up for you now."

As Wade replayed the message, Ron couldn't help but feel that he was caught somewhere between a soap opera and an episode of the Twilight Zone. After it was finished, Ron let out a long, sad sigh.

"So, Dementor has perfected a device that can suck someone right into the telephone wires and transport them wherever he wants. So he grabbed Kim, and then accidentally snagged Bonnie, too."

Rufus moaned, "_Oh, poor Kim…"_

"Yup. That's exactly what it looks like, Ron."

The youth moaned, "Well, at least I know she really enjoyed our first kiss. And enough to brag about it to Bonnie right away."

Wade chuckled. "Yeah, and half the world might be enjoying it pretty soon, too."

"Huh?"

"Jim and Tim built a silent drone, and recorded your smooch with Kim on video."

Rufus couldn't help from bursting out in a fit of giggling, falling backwards onto his back in delight.

Ron hit himself on the forehead. "Those sneaky peeping Toms! _Have they no shame?!"_

He forced himself to calm down, going over all the details again in his mind. "Okay, so at least Kim and Bonnie are both still alive. But there's still one thing I don't get."

"What's that, Ron?"

"What's Bonnie taking antibiotics for, and why was she so upset about Kim knowing? Maybe a sore throat after all the cheerleading tonight?"

Now it was Wade's turn to slap his forehead, amazed at Ron's cluelessness. "Uh, not exactly. I'll tell you when you're older."

"What?" Suddenly Ron's light bulb popped on. "Oh… _OHHHhhh_… And, _EWWWwww_…"

He added with a smirk, "But not really surprising."

Rufus added his own devilish snicker.

Ron immediately jumped out of bed and announced, "Well, when your new girl and her snarky competition have been kidnapped by a world-class supervillain, there's only one thing to do."

Wade chortled, "What, let the ladies fight it out, and stick with whoever survives?"

"No! Rescue them both and lock up the bad guy!" Ron fumed. "It's just that the timing is completely and totally wrong. This wasn't even supposed to have happened yet! Dementor wasn't due to perfect the Transportulator for at _least _another year…"

Wade did a double take. "What was that, Ron? And what's a Transportulator?"

Ron quickly tried to cover his gaffe. "Uh, never mind. Forget I said that. What's important now is that I get there as soon as possible and rescue both of our fair maidens."

He immediately corrected himself. "Uh, on second thought, better make that one fair maiden, and one snarky floozy. That is, as long as they're still both being held captive in Dementor's lair."

Wade answered, "Ron, you know I'll do anything I can to help you rescue Kim, but shouldn't you just leave this to Global Justice? No offense, but couldn't they handle this better than you?"

Ron frowned, "No. That's exactly what Dementor will be expecting, and he'll have prepared for that. But what he _won't_ be expecting is a little surprise visit from, _the sidekick_."

Rufus scowled, _"Hey!"_

"Oops. Sorry Rufus. Make that the sidekick, and _his_ sidekick."

Rufus nodded in approval. _"More like it!"_

Ron narrowed his eyes in determination. "Wade, we're gonna need a ride, _stat!_"

Wade winked, "You've got it, Ron. And I may have just the thing…"

An hour later, Ron was on board the private supersonic aircraft of Japanese toy magnate Mr. Nakasumi and swiftly winging his way to Europe at top speed.

He bowed respectfully toward his benefactor. "Thanks for the ride, Mr. N. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."

Mr. Nakasumi whispered in the ear of his attractive almond-eyed secretary, Yoshiko Kyoko. She translated, "He says to think nothing of it, honorable Stoppable-san. We were on way to European toy festival anyway. And it is least he can do for you after saving his toy factory from evil blue-skinned villain several months ago."

Ron waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, pshaw, Miss Kyoko. Nothing that Kim and I couldn't handle. I'm just glad I was able to prevent Drakken from stealing Christmas."

Mr. Nakasumi whispered again in Yoshiko's ear. She giggled before repeating, "Apologies. You mean, preventing the evil one from taking over world?"

Ron whined, "Aw, not you, _too?_ I've argued with Kim over that for at _least_ two months now…"

Rufus added a tiny snicker for good measure.

Ron now began a silent convo with his tiny friend. _"Well, Rufus. I have a good feeling about our little rescue mission, but what worries me is that none of this should be happening yet. Dementor wasn't even supposed to invent the Transportulator until about halfway through my junior year, let alone perfect it."_

Rufus wagged his tiny head. _"I hate to say that I told you so, but I warned you that tampering with the timeline to the extent that you have might have serious consequences. And it looks like my fears were well founded."_

Ron frowned, _"You may be right. But now what do I do to fix it?"_

The naked mole rat gave a small shrug. _"You don't even know what you did specifically to disrupt it in the first place. And trying to mend the situation without discovering the reason could be catastrophic." _

"_Yeah, I think you're right. But first we've got to rescue Kim and Bonnie. There'll be time enough to fix everything else later." _

He added with a chuckle, _"That is, if they even __**need**__ saving. The way those two snark at each other all the time, Dementor may end up turning them loose just for his own peace of mind…"_

* * *

**_II._**

Kim awoke to discover that she and Bonnie were now inside Professor Dementor's fortress lair in the Bavarian Alps, their hands bound tightly to the steel cage that now had them both trapped. The black-helmeted villain had been impatiently waiting for them to awaken, and as soon as Kim regained consciousness, he turned on his villain light, illuminating his face with its evil red glow.

"Aha! At last you are awake, Kim Possible. But first, my apologies. I had no idea that my Transportulator would actually knock you out for so long."

Kim growled back, "You're apologizing for knocking us out, but not for _kidnapping us?_ That just makes _so_ much sense, Dementor. And tying us up _and_ putting us in a cage? A little overkill, don't you think?"

"Not when it comes to you, my snippy little heroine. And especially since I've given my henchmen the night off."

Bonnie now started to come around as well, her eyes fluttering open. "Wh-where in the heck am I?" She first pulled on the ropes that held her fast, quickly noticing that Kim was also tied up right next to her. She rolled her eyes heavenward and began to complain vociferously.

"Oh, just great. I must be dead and _obviously_ in hell, since Possible is right here next to me, ready to start torturing me for all eternity…"

Kim huffed back, "You're not dead, and you're not in hell, Bonnie." She added with an ironic chuckle, "Not yet at least, anyway…"

"Well, it sure looks like it to _me_," she grimaced, looking about the spooky lair.

Kim then noticed Bonnie's current attire, a rather revealing red silken negligee. "Well, considering what you're wearing right now, all you'd need would be some horns and a tail, and you'd fit right in."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes. "Hey, what I sleep in is none of your business, K!"

Kim sneered back, "Sleep? _Really?_ Looks like you were getting ready for a little something _else_, B! And considering who you were obviously expecting when I called, I think it's _definitely_ my business!"

"Ahem!" Looking up, they noticed Dementor scowling at the both of them, his arms folded and impatiently tapping his foot.

"If you two are finished mit your snarking, I would like to get down to the business of exactly why you are both here."

Bonnie insolently shot back, "And just who in the hell are _you_, Mr. Black Helmet Guy?"

Ignoring her flippant remark, he began with a slight bow of his head. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am the famous Professor Dementor, _and you are both my prisoners!"_

Bonnie growled, "Actually, you just look like some loonie holding a red flashlight under his face. Kim, explanation please? You deal with these freakos all the time."

Kim answered, "Yeah, this is one of the bad guys Ron and I fight on a more or less regular basis. And somehow he's kidnapped the two of us, but just how I can't say. So how about a few answers, Professor, please and thank you?"

"But of course!" he quickly answered, rubbing his hands together in evil glee. "I used my newest invention, the Transportulator, to turn your bodies into electrical impulses and convey you here to my secret lair. And once I am done mit you, you vill never interfere mit my brilliant schemes to take over the world _ever again! Bwa-hah-hah-hah!"_

As he continued to gloat victoriously however, Bonnie was less than impressed. "Kim, why is this loser continuing to drone on about what he's going to do with us? Unless he's just planning on boring us to death."

Kim chuckled, "No Bonnie, it's called monologuing. It's kind of a bad habit that all villains have, but it almost always gives the good guys the chance to escape."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Bonnie griped impatiently. "Do your Kung-Fu kick thingy and get us the hell out of here!"

But Dementor immediately cackled back, "Not _zis_ time, Kim Possible! You are both tied very tightly, and now that I haf both of you in my clutches, I shall torture you for hours on end mit my favorite yodeling records at ever increasing volumes, _until your brains melt into strudel!"_

Bonnie huffed, "What-_ever_. But _records?_ That's _so_ last century."

Dementor shrugged, "Vell, I did transfer all of them to a cassette tape so I can play them on a loop..."

Kim chided, "What, no 8-track tapes? You're slipping, Dementor."

With another half-hearted shrug, he replied, "Ja, perhaps you are right. Especially since I really only wanted _you,_ Kim Possible, but since zis Bonnie person was _also_ on the line when I called, both of you were accidentally transportulated at the same time."

Bonnie exploded, "_What!?_ You mean I shouldn't be here at _all!?_ Kim, this is all your fault! And when I get out of here, you're going to be in so much trouble!"

Kim moaned, "Yeah, like _that's_ gonna be any different than usual…"

Bonnie angrily fumed, "Okay, Dr. Demented…"

"That's Dementor. _Professor_ Dementor. It's that Drakken nincompoop who's the doctor."

Bonnie impatiently huffed, "What-_ever_… Just dial my cell phone and send me back home this instant!"

He grinned, "So sorry, but I've already reached my maximum minutes on my phone plan zis month. You'll have to wait until I'm finished mit Kim Possible first."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes as she railed at the teen heroine, "I _knew_ I should have let my voicemail take your stupid call, Kim! Now, use your fancy crime-fighting equipment and get us the hell out of this Bavarian nut case's cage!"

But she could only wag her head in defeat. "Sorry, Bonnie, but I wasn't prepared to go on a mission. All my stuff's back in my closet at home. And my Kimmunicator is in my pocket. I can't reach it while we're tied up."

"Oh, just great," she pouted. "So just who's going to rescue us?"

Just then, a proximity alarm went off. Dementor flipped a switch, activating the outside viewscreen. Floating down out of the sky were a redheaded teen and his trusty naked mole rat.

"Ron!" both girls yelled simultaneously.

"Jinx, you owe me a soda, Bonnie!"

"I don't think so, Kim." She continued with a sly grin, "But after Ronnie rescues _me_, you can treat us _all _to one."

Kim could only reply with a frustrated, "nnnNNNGGGHHH!"

Dementor frowned and scratched his chin. "Hmm. The boy and his little rodent friend are a bit earlier than I had planned, but no matter. Excuse me ladies, but I have some would-be rescuers to capture…"

* * *

**_III._**

At that moment, Ron and Rufus were gently floating toward Professor Dementor's secret Bavarian lair after parachuting out of Mr. Nakasumi's plane. Upon landing, they looked curiously at the tiny brightly lit building which stood before them.

With a perplexed look, Ron queried, "What, a _cheese_ _kiosk?_ What's a cheese kiosk doing here in front of Dementor's lair?"

Laid out before them was a delicious looking spread of various cheeses. Bavarian Bergkase, Swiss Appenzeller, even a chunk or two of American Swiss. Not hesitating a single moment, Rufus lunged for the tempting slices on the counter.

"Wait, Rufus! It might me a…"

With a loud clang, iron bars instantly came crashing down, imprisoning them both.

"…a trap…" Ron sadly concluded.

Rufus mumbled an apology. "Oops! _Sorree_…"

A soft cackle was heard, blooming immediately into a huge guffaw. "Well, look what my little cheese booth has captured!"

The evil professor walked up to them, quite pleased with himself that his ruse had succeeded.

Ron was astounded. "Wait! You mean you were expecting _us_, and not Global Justice?"

With another guffaw he barked, "But of course! I knew that as merely the sidekick you couldn't _possibly_ be serious about rescuing Kim Possible and her rude loudmouthed friend by yourself, so it made sense to me that you would therefore _have_ to."

"Oh, a _trap_-_trap_, huh? Just like Dr. Drakken…"

Dementor screamed back, "DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME OF A PERSON WHO I DESPISE SO MUCH!"

Ron sniggered, "Ooh. I seem to have hit a bit of a nerve there, huh, Rufus?"

As Rufus chittered in agreement, Dementor queried, "Und vat exactly is a _trap-trap_? Such a thing have I never heard of…"

"That'll have to wait for another time, Professor." _Literally…_ "So let's get down to business. First, if you've harmed a single hair on Kim's head…"

He almost voiced the tired cliché 'you'll wish you had never been born,' but then thought of something even more appropriate for the Germanic villain.

"I'll make you wish you had been born… _in_ _Norway!_"

Dementor shuddered. "That is _so_ much the place wishing I vas never born, mit their disgustingly greasy meat cakes. Ugh! But it is actually only _Kim Possible_ that I want, not that rude, disgusting Bonnie Rottweiler."

Ron stifled a chuckle. "Uh, I think that's _Rockwaller_."

The villain's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? I could have sworn she said her name vas Rottweiler…" He gave Ron a knowing wink. "But if the shoe fits, eh? Anyway, I vill let you have _her _back as long as you promise to leave immediately _and never darken my door again!"_

Ron sneered back, "No deal. And I much as I'd _love_ to leave Bon-Bon here with you, I'll be leaving with them both, please and thank you."

"Yeah!" Rufus added with a derisive jeer. Placing his tiny arms akimbo, he blew a insolent raspberry at the black-helmeted villain.

"Hah-hah, you are so very humorous mit the clever use of a Kim Possible catchphrase. But it is _I_ who haf _you_ trapped, as you can see. But you may rest assured that I vill not harm a single pretty blond hair on Kim Possible's head." Rubbing his hands together, he began to cackle evilly. "Her _brain_ however is a totally different matter…"

Ron remained defiant as he sarcastically replied, "So, you like Kim for her mind, huh? What a gentleman…"

"Bah, hardly! I plan on playing my favorite yodeling recordings on a continuous loop at ever-increasing volume levels, until her eardrums burst _and her brain is reduced to the consistency_ _of Bueno Nacho's day-old refried beans!_"

Ron gasped, "You _fiend!_ What kind of sick and wrong mind comes up with such an insidious…"

He stopped in mid-sentence and continued almost disinterestedly, "Sorry, giving you way too much credit here. It actually sounds about as lame a plot as I've _ever_ heard of." _And in two universes no less…_

Dementor's face turned crimson with anger. "You vill be yodeling a much different tune once I am done mit all of you, _zis I promise!"_

And with a clap of his hands and a cheerful whistle, he called for his pet dachshunds. "Here, Hans und Fritz! I haf a little job for you…"

But these were no ordinary dachshunds. His genetically mutated wiener dogs were a full six feet high at the shoulder, and with a disposition to match. Dementor attached the snarling dogs to Ron's cage like mules to a cart, and with another whistle from their master, it was pulled forward and into the waiting maw of his lair.

As soon as Ron saw the two trapped cheerleaders, he yelled out, "Kim! Are you okay?"

But Bonnie was the first to grouse back, "_We're_ just fine, Ronnie. Now get us out of here!"

Kim sighed tiredly, "Yeah, Ron. Please and thank you? If I have to stay here another minute next to Queen Prissy, I'm going to feel like sticking an ice pick in my ear to keep from hearing her moan and groan."

Bonnie shot back, "Hey, _you're_ no picnic getting stuck next to either, Kim!"

But as his cage rolled to a stop, Ron suddenly had a brainstorm. After sending a mental image of his plan to Rufus, his tiny pet gave him an understanding wink in acknowledgement. The naked mole rat then silently slipped out between the bars without Professor Dementor noticing and quietly began his tasks.

Ron started by giving Dementor a wide smile. "So? Using yodeling to defeat Team Possible, huh? That's a new one on us. But will it be the traditional Alpine yodeling, or are you going to be adding some American Country and Western styles for variety? Perhaps some jazz or blues, just to keep things interesting?"

The look of surprise on the Professor's face could not have been greater. "Young Schtoppable, I am truly amazed! I had no _idea_ that you were such a connoisseur of the yodeling."

Ron grinned back, "Oh, you'd be bon-diggity surprised at some of the stuff I know, Professor. But as for myself, I haven't decided if I like the Persian _tahrir_ or Georgian _krimanchuli _yodeling technique better. As you well know, they both have their strong and weak points."

Dementor nodded, scratching his chin in contemplation. "Ja, ja, of course. That goes mitout saying."

Unobtrusively placing his hands behind his back, Ron continued to lecture, "And then there's the elaborate polyphonic style of the Central African Pygmies. But that's not really suitable for your purposes, and besides, it's really not my cup of tea anyway."

The villain chuckled, "Naturally, that stands to reason. Perfectly understood."

He glanced up at the ceiling of the lair as he continued to expound, distracting Dementor from the bars directly behind him that he had just begun melting with his mystical energy, and out of sight from Kim and Bonnie as well.

"But as you know, the very _best_ places for Alpine-style yodeling are locations with a good echo. So your lair is, well, just made to order. Totally badical!"

"Ja! Ja! Absolutely!"

Meanwhile, Rufus had finished chewing through Kim's bindings. She softly whispered, _"Good boy, Rufus…"_

But Bonnie was simply beside herself with fury, oblivious to the covert rescue attempt. "What in the _heck _is Stoppable doing? He should be trying to get us out of here instead of talking shop with that red-suited doofus!"

Kim motioned her to be silent, hissing back, "Zip it, Bonnie. He's trying to distract the bad guy and get us out of here. So don't draw any attention to yourself." She added with a sly grin, "As hard as that may be for you to do..."

Bonnie bit her lip in anger, just as Rufus began to chew through her bindings. But when she felt the naked mole rat climbing on her wrist, she nearly let out a yelp of surprise.

Kim quickly cuffed her hand over the cheerleader's mouth and whispered, "Remember, Bonnie. Not a sound." The teal-eyed teen silently nodded back.

Meanwhile, Professor Dementor was shaking his head in wonder at Ron's encyclopedic knowledge. "My, but your familiarity mit the fine points of yodeling is very impressive, Schtoppable. But where in the verld did you learn of all this?"

He shrugged, "Well, I've got a teacher in high school who loves to give me pop quizzes and extra homework on nearly a weekly basis, and…"

Dementor threw up his hands. "Ach, say no more! Zis reminds me of my youth and that _particularly_ overbearing and tyrannical headmaster who tortured me for years! Ja, I can _completely_ relate."

He continued in a conspiratorial whisper, "In fact, he is the _actual reason_ I turned to evil." He added with a chuckle, "And the _first_ to feel my wrath in my new guise as Professor Dementor, of course."

Ron smiled and nodded in understanding. " 'Natch."

He observed that Rufus had finally finished chewing through Bonnie's bindings, and had now reattached each dachshund's harness to the two center bars of Kim and Bonnie's cage. As Dementor rambled on with his monologue, Ron used his Mystical Monkey Power to create the illusion of a juicy steak directly in front of each dog. As each one eagerly sought their own delicious meal, they began straining with all their might in opposite directions in order to snatch the tantalizing treat dangling before each of them, just out of reach of their slathering jaws. Slowly, the iron bars began to bend under the terrific stress.

Beads of sweat appeared on Ron's forehead as he attempted to maintain the illusion of the steaks for the wiener dogs, while simultaneously keeping Dementor distracted.

"Now, Professor, your headmaster's name wasn't, uh, Steven Barkin by any chance, was it?"

_C'mon, just a few inches more…_

The villain looked at him with another look of total amazement. "No, but _very_ _close_ in point of fact. Stephan Barkenstein vas his full name, so it wouldn't surprise me if they weren't related somehow."

Soon, the space between the bars were just wide enough for the two girls to escape. Rufus motioned with his tiny paw for them to make a run for it. Once they both had slipped out, Rufus hit the dog's harness release, and Ron frantically began yelping a mutant wiener dog call as a distraction while he squeezed out of his own cage.

Rufus in the meantime had short-circuited Dementor's stereo system, which promptly began shooting out flaming electrical sparks and quickly catching the lair on fire.

Dementor gasped, spotting his burning sound system as well as the now free trio of teens.

Assuming her usual attack stance, Kim quipped, "Well, Dementor. It looks like the only place you'll be yodeling now is Cell Block C."

Ron quickly added, "Yeah! Too bad we couldn't drop you off at Sing-Sing Prison!" He gave Kim a wink. "Sing-Sing, get it?"

This only earned him a collective groan from all present. Ron shrugged, "Well, _I _thought it was funny…"

But as Kim raced toward the now furious villain, he angrily shook his fist in the air and yelled, "Not so fast, Kim Possible! You may be free at zis moment, but not for long!"

Reaching into his pocket, he removed a small silver ball. "My brand new _Bondo Ball_ should slow you down a bit. Here, catch!"

And with that, he tossed the device directly at Kim.

In horror, Ron lunged at his friend, yelling, "Kim! Whatever you do, don't touch that!"

Pushing her out of the way just in time, the ball hit the floor and exploded in a burst of green smoke, missing Kim but enveloping him instead.

Dementor whined, "Oh, for pity's sake. Saved at the last second by the sidekick. I really must rethink this whole dynamic."

Suddenly, the sound of a Global Justice hoverjet that Wade had called for backup could be heard approaching.

Shrugging in defeat, the villain groused, "Vell, I would love to see how zis all turns out, but I really must be going now."

Quickly strapping on a jet pack, he saluted the trio of teens and fired it up. "So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, _good-bye!"_

And with a burst of smoke and flame, he rocketed out of an emergency hatch in the lair's ceiling.

Picking himself off the floor, Ron brushed himself off and asked, "Well, are you two ladies okay?" He added with a snicker, "And I do use the term loosely, especially in Bon-Bon's case. _Very_ loosely."

But instead of a snarky comeback, Bonnie ran right over to Ron, who defensively threw up his hands.

"No, wait, Bonnie!"

But it was too late. Giving him a warm hug and an even warmer kiss, she purred, "Just a little thank you for rescuing me, my hero."

But when she tried to pull away, a bright blue glow began to radiate from between them, holding them tightly together.

"What the…" Bonnie puzzled, "I've heard of personal magnetism, but this is just ridiculous…"

But as much as they continued to struggle to free themselves, the effect kept them inextricably bonded to the other.

Now more than a little concerned, Kim cautiously asked, "Ron, did I hear Dementor say something about… a _Bondo Ball?_"

Ron could only respond with a sheepish grin, while Bonnie decided to stop struggling, snuggling even closer into the arms of the now very uncomfortable teen.

"Hey, lover boy, I could _really_ get used to this…"

Ron whined, "Oh, boy. Am I in trouble now…"

While Kim looked on with increasing anger, Rufus placed his head in his tiny paws and moaned, _"Oh, no. Here we go again…"_

* * *

_Oh dear... Well, this is quite the delicate sitch for poor altRon, and gives new meaning to the word 'awkweird.' Thanks to Dementor, things can only go from bad to wurst in this ongoing romantic triangle, as we'll discover in our next episode, __"I'm So Stuck On You," or, "Your Place Or Mine?" _

_**TBC...**_

* * *

_A/N: And just a brief note regarding this year's KP Fannie Awards. As usual I'm a bit behind on things, but I just discovered that my KP/Calvin and Hobbes crossover "Tiger by the Tail" has been nominated for Best Short Story, and "Between the Stars" has been nominated for Best Story Overall. _

_So many thanks to whoever nominated them, and since Round One closes on Monday July 21, I solicit your votes if you are so inclined, please and thank you._

_You can cast any votes by either sending an e-mail to **kimmunityfannies at yahoo dot com**, or by going to Fan Fiction/Forum/Cartoons/Kim Possible/Kim Possible Discussion/2013 KP Fannies Round 1 Voting, and send a PM to the KP Fannie Committee with your vote. You can also view all the other categories and excellent nominees there. Happy reading, and good luck to all!_

_thanks,_

_Mahler Avatar_


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